I have recently had to ponder over this question in my mind for the umpteen millionth time. The problem arises when you are trying to show someone love by their set of rules. These set of rules put both sides in a place of conditional love instead of unconditional love. I have a situation in my life for which I will forgo details that has forced me into the rules of conditional love to keep from destroying a relationship. To say that this relationship is complex is a vast understatement for which there are many factors to consider. With this issue weighing heavily on my mind I came to my computer this morning to find 2 quotes that reassured me of what I have always know was right, but find it hard to impliment.
The first quote is by C.S. Lewis
"Love is something more stern and splendid than mere kindness."
This 2nd quote is scripture found in Luke 17:3-4
"Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.
And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him."
(emphasis added)
The "stern" part of love is the ability to rebuke the ones you love and then show forgiveness toward them. Loving someone doesn't mean that you overlook their wrong doings in order to show "kindness" towards them. This kindness that we often feel so necessary to preserve a relationship is nothing but a shallow and conditional way to love someone, which often results in resentment-not love. Being stern is the hardest part of loving someone. The hardest thing in the world is to sit back and decide to let someone self destruct before your very eyes and watching this distruction take down not only them but others involved. This doesn't mean that you have abandoned them but that you are there ready and waiting in the wings to shower them with real and true love that will build and strenthen them, not enable them.
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