Inspiration

We just talked about the conference address "Are you sleeping thru the restoration" by President Utchdorf on Sunday.  Like I mentioned in my previous post.  It certainly feels like the last days with all the craziness going on in the world.  Wars, rumors of wars.  Upside down beliefs.  A complete lack of common sense etc.  What this means to me is that it's time to get serious.  It's time to see if you can really hear the voice of the Lord.  It's time to see if you can receive revelation.  It's time to see if there are really miracles happening in your life.  It's time to see if keeping covenants and commandments bring blessings.  It's time to put on the armor of the Lord.  

The most important thing I can do as a teacher is to have experiences myself and then help others have them or to know that they are having them.   One of the things we do for the kids each morning is get out their things and place them on the tables for them.  One morning as I was getting them out after a lesson I gave, I found these.  It made me smile that it was something these boys wanted to think about everyday because one had taped the reminder on the cover of his scriptures and the other on his journal.  

 On Saturday I took my girls to the general women's meeting.  While I was sitting there I took my standard notes on my iPad, but I also brought my seminary journal - it's were I write (old school pen and paper method) my lessons and I keep my training in there and inspiration, basically everything that has to do with seminary.  I wrote down in my journal things that specifically applied to either reinforcing what we have already learned or things I wanted to bring out in future lessons - or just things I needed to do.  

I won't go into everything, because that's not what this is all about.  But, I will tell you one thing.  Before seminary started I had purchased (they are actually free except for the shipping) "The Living Christ" for each of the students.  They have been sitting in the cupboard ever since.  I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with them.  Wait for a lesson that went with them.  Ask the kids to memorize them when they are already working hard on memorizing the scripture mastery verses.  I wasn't sure yet.  I acted on what I felt was a prompting by ordering them, but then decided to wait for further light and knowledge.  

What gets mentioned at the women's meeting?  Sister Neill F Marriott talked about the gift she was giving the Savior for Christmas this year - memorizing "The Living Christ."  Well, if that's not further light and knowledge, I don't know what is.  My companion got right on finding ways to help the kids memorize it by Christmas and we've got just under 12 weeks to do it (there are ideas on the web)

A week ago I picked up the October edition of the "New Era" and loved it.  We had been talking about the duties of the priesthood in class and how we all need to strengthen and watch over the members of the church.  I thought there were some good ideas in there pertaining to family history that the kids could use for those purposes.  They came in the mail Friday afternoon and I was trying to figure out how I would present them to the students.  

On Sunday we showed up for church and at the Bishop was the final speaker for sacrament meeting.  He shocked everyone when he asked all youth 12 and up to stand.  He then sustained them all as family history consultants and told them they needed to be set apart after church.  What an endeavor that was - setting apart all those youth!  They didn't do a rush job either.  I almost starting singing praises when he made the announcement (well, I actually kinda did).  Guess what I had?  Basically a training manual to hand to each of our students on Monday morning to help them to take their call seriously and magnify it.  We also got to talk about revelation.  Just because you're not sure how to fulfill a promoting you get, doesn't mean that it isn't a prompting.  It's best to follow thru and then wait for further light and knowledge.  We had a real life example of "at onement"  I had no idea that the bishop would do what he did, but I was on the same page and ready to help the kids act.  

Pretty darn amazing and cool if you ask me.  If you're not having these kind of experiences yourself, I challenge you to start working at it.  The best place to start is by writing impressions down.  You don't always get to know the why of promptings, but you surely never will if you don't write them down and acknowledge them.  I'm not special.  These privileges and blessings are available to all who want them.  You've got to want them and be looking for them and then acknowledge them and then encourage others to have them.  It's the only way to win this battle against darkness and win we will!

In the Sky

This summer as another school year was rapidly approaching, I decided that the 2 oldest needed proper work stations for their home schooling.  With all the moving rooms we did, we didn't have a "cyber" room anymore so we needed a dedicated space that wasn't in rooms with beds.....or always in my living space during the day.  This was an expensive solution to the problem that I had been dreaming of doing for years - I always talked myself out of spending the money.  

I almost talked myself out of spending the money again because our house is already upside down in value and I could literally walk away from it any day without regret.  Long story short, we decided to go for it.  I had no idea that it would take months to complete.  I officially started this process in July.  It is now October - well, it was finished yesterday and that was still September.  

What does this all have to do with the sky, you say?  Well, have a look at the below picture and I'll explain.

If you will notice, there are way too many shelves in those bookcases - it would actually be great if I were storing paper or postage letters in them (there were 6 more still in my garage)  As I mentioned.  This was an expensive endeavor.  What was even more expensive was the labor.  We decided to save money and do some of the work ourselves.  Picking up the boxes and inspecting them is something we decided to save money on.  When we inspected everything, we couldn't find the shelves for the bookcases.  The process was already a long and drawn out one that was making me grumpy.  The company decided to just send more shelves.  

The instillation of the cabinetry was done by contract and guess what they found?  The stupid shelves.  Who's the big fat idiot now?   

The dilemma.  No one would ever know the original shelves where here.  I could do whatever with the extra shelves and live out the rest of my days.  Except.  My integrity would no longer be intact.  The true test of ones integrity is your ability to do the right thing when no one else knows.  I had to decided how much my integrity was worth.  My pride?  

I thought about putting this off.  But doggone it.  I teach seminary.  I have kids.  Have you seen the news lately?  Seriously, if this isn't the second coming - dude we're in for seriously dark days.  General conference is in a couple of days.  I just watched a cheesy 80's church mini movie about putting on the armor of God.  I could swallow my pride, pick up the phone and call my sales agent to ask what I should do about my embarrassing situation.  I need armor more than I need my pride.  

I made the phone call of shame to find out how I should go about returning the shelves.  I got the shelves boxed back up, loaded them up and drove them back to the store.  While I was driving over there my mind went to a little pile of clips on the floor.  Those clips were still sitting on the floor.  I thought that at least I was taking the other stuff back and I didn't need to worry about the silly clips.  I justified that it was pennies to the company.  I loaded up the flatbed cart and took my walk of shame into the store.  I drove back home and decided that I couldn't keep those stupid clips and that I just needed to take them back and be done with it all.  I picked up the clips and drove all the way back, handed them to the lady who smiled big at me and left with my integrity intact - walking uprightly. 

The funniest thing that happened was while I was driving home for the second and final time.  A song came on the radio.  It made me laugh.  The song holds no special meaning for me, but it was so perfect and proves to me that Heavenly Father has a sense of humor.  You just can't make this silly stuff up.  "The spirit in the sky" came on.  I left that trippy song on and belted it out on the way home.  The song writer was under the impression that he never had nor ever will sin, but it was still enjoyable.  Guess what?  I know where I'm going when I die and I personally know my friend, Jesus, who will put in a good word for me!

Where Was I?

While preparing one of my lessons I came across an address from Elder Holland.  It was from the October 1994 general conference called "Miracles of the Restoration."  I decided to watch the video and then quickly realized that I don't know where he has been all my life.  Well, I know where he's been, I just don't know where I've been.  There's a great scripture that everyone likes to quote to feel better about where they are in life:

1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: ~Ecclesiastes 3:1

I do know where I was at the time.  I was a newly baptized member of the church (17 months) living in Utah as a newlywed (5 months) while Nate finished up undergrad.  I was most likely working that day at Maceys grocery store in Orem.  I wasn't liking living in Utah very much at this time, but I was trying not to let a few bad apples spoil the bunch.  

My point is this.  I just realized a couple of years ago how amazing Elder Holland was.  I think it was his testifying of the Book of Mormon talk that made me wake up and take notice of him.  I had always watched, taken notes and payed attention.  The good years I would even read the articles again in the ensign when it came out (although usually not all of them, just the ones I remembered liking)  Saturday session was never high on my priority list.  My time and season was learning how to be a member of this new church, being newly married, having a husband attending medical school and starting a family and everything that came after that.  I was in survival mode and knowing where the life preserver was and making my best attempts to reach for it, but not very valiantly.  That's the trouble with learning line upon line.  Each new line you realize how blind you were previously and how much of your life you wasted not living where you are now.  It's the circle of life.  It happens to everyone.  We aren't supposed to wallow in that, but gain sympathy for others still farther back on the trail than we now find ourselves -because once your eyes are open, everything becomes so clear and easy to understand and you have a hard time figuring out why others can't see as clearly - even though you were recently there yourself.  Does that all make sense?  I hope so.  

Anyway.  That talk was the bomb.  He was humbled by his recent call and testified of the priesthood and how a new prophet is called - Ezra Taft Benson had just passed away.  I realized that he is the same today as he was then.  Some of the apostles have a growth period and they become better with time.  He was born better.  I could have listen to that talk today and said "rock on!"  He knows how to love, inspire and encourage.  I joke that I go to Elder Bednar to get my butt kicked and then to Elder Holland for a hug.  If I were in a room with both of them and told I could only speak to one of them, I think I would die from the choice.  

I was talking with someone about the new challenge that come with each new level of learning and understanding that you reach.  Like I mentioned, clear eyesight doesn't mean you remember how to relate to your previous eyesight.  This conversation made me remember a BYU speech given by Gordon B Hinckley November 4, 1969 called "The Loneliness of Leadership."  Seriously good talk.  He talks about the loneliness of faith and virtue in a world that doesn't value those principles.  A lot of times we will find ourselves standing alone.....even among our own peers.  He didn't mention the part about our own peers, but that is an even lonelier path.  Many want to fit in with the world instead of stand out and confuse that with not being judgmental (this seems to be the internet topic of discussion as of late).  

Looking up this speech led me to a follow up talk that he gave in the April 1995 general conference , "This Is the Work of the Master."   The newly ordained president was humbled by his new calling as the prophet because Howard W Hunter had passed away.  He wanted to follow up on his speech that he had given 26 years earlier. This is one of the most inspiring talks I've ever read.  Again, I don't know where I was (probably at my bro and SIL's house playing with their kids instead of paying attention) when he gave this.  It didn't make a mark on my brain, but when I read it now -oh my gosh!  

Because I love the cut and paste feature, I'm going to use it - hey I showed restraint in the previous talks mentioned -no quotes....well, 1 little scripture!  I need to leave a fun journey of self discovery for anyone else wanting to take it.  

"Your obligation is as serious in your sphere of responsibility as is my obligation in my sphere. No calling in this church is small or of little consequence. All of us in the pursuit of our duty touch the lives of others. To each of us in our respective responsibilities the Lord has said: “Wherefore, be faithful; stand in the office which I have appointed unto you; succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees” (D&C 81:5).

And then later he said- after lots of other good stuff: 

"This is a season to be strong. It is a time to move forward without hesitation, knowing well the meaning, the breadth, and the importance of our mission. It is a time to do what is right regardless of the consequences that might follow. It is a time to be found keeping the commandments. It is a season to reach out with kindness and love to those in distress and to those who are wandering in darkness and pain. It is a time to be considerate and good, decent and courteous toward one another in all of our relationships. In other words, to become more Christlike.

We have nothing to fear. God is at the helm. He will overrule for the good of this work. He will shower down blessings upon those who walk in obedience to His commandments. Such has been His promise. Of His ability to keep that promise none of us can doubt."

Listening to these talks right after a prophet had died and a new prophet was sustained it got me thinking of how short of a time Howard W Hunter was a prophet - he only spoke in 1 general conference.  This made me wonder.  What did he need to say to us?  What was his final message?  Now that my eyes are more open, I was ready to receive.  

Even today I reminded of the feelings I had while watching him in that general conference.  The man oozed love.  Though I can't remember a word he said when I watched live all those years ago, I can still remember that I felt like I was listening to the Prophet of the Lord.  He spoke in the general RS meeting, Priesthood session and on Sunday morning of conference.  Between all three of those talks he managed to testify of the most saving principles of the gospel.  The most important things we need to gain exhalation.  

The RS talk was "Stand firm in the Faith."  It was a love letter to women.  It was beautiful.  Then he brought everything together with this:

"As our Lord and Savior looked to the women of his time for a comforting hand, a listening ear, a believing heart, a kind look, an encouraging word, loyalty—even in his hour of humiliation, agony, and death—it seems to me that there is a great need to rally the women of the Church today to stand with and for the Brethren in stemming the tide of evil that surrounds us and in moving forward the work of our Savior. Together we must stand firm in the faith against greater numbers of other-minded people. Nephi said, “Ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men” (2 Ne. 31:20). When we are obedient to God, we are a majority. But only together can we accomplish the work he has given us to do and be prepared for the day when we shall see him.

As we labor with our might to minister to needs in the same caring way that our Lord did among the women of his day, so we entreat you to minister with your powerful influence for good in strengthening our families, our church, and our communities. As you are anxiously engaged in good causes, you can show others that by taking Christ into their lives and accepting his gospel, with its saving ordinances and covenants, they can reach their true potential in this life and in the hereafter.

Those who follow Christ seek to follow his example. His suffering in behalf of our sins, shortcomings, sorrows, and sicknesses should motivate us to similarly reach out in charity and compassion to those around us. It is most appropriate that the motto of the longest-standing women’s organization in the world—the Relief Society of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints—is “Charity Never Faileth.”

The Priesthood session was "Being a Righteous Husband and Father."  This talk was also really good and he laid it all out there for the men of the church.  He didn't mince words, in fact he closed by saying:

"Brethren, I have spoken plainly to you regarding your responsibility as holders of the holy priesthood. If there are areas in your life where improvement may be needed, I encourage you to make this a matter of prayerful consideration."

What did he say to the general body of the church during the Sunday morning session of general conference October 1994?  In his talk "Exceeding Great and Precious Promises" he testified of the priesthood and the authority given by God to the quorum of the 12 apostles.  He explained that he does not act alone.  The quorum is a body doing the will of the Lord who's church it is.  He testified that this is the Lord's church and not mans.  He talked about the disintegration of the family and the calamities that will bring that were foretold by the prophets.  He also extended 2 invitations:

First, I invite all members of the Church to live with ever more attention to the life and example of the Lord Jesus Christ, especially the love and hope and compassion he displayed. I pray that we will treat each other with more kindness, more patience, more courtesy and forgiveness.

To those who have transgressed or been offended, we say, come back. The path of repentance, though hard at times, lifts one ever upward and leads to a perfect forgiveness.

To those who are hurt or are struggling and afraid, we say, let us stand with you and dry your tears. Come back. Stand with us in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Take literally his invitation to “come, follow me” (see Matt. 16:24; Matt. 19:21; Mark 8:34; Mark 10:21; Luke 9:23; Luke 18:22; John 21:22; D&C 38:22). He is the only sure way; he is the light of the world.

We will, as you would expect us to do, continue to hold to the high standards of conduct which define a Latter-day Saint. It is the Lord who established those standards, and we are not free to set them aside.

Let us study the Master’s every teaching and devote ourselves more fully to his example. He has given us “all things that pertain unto life and godliness.” He has “called us to glory and virtue” and has “given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these [we] might be partakers of the divine nature” (2 Pet. 1:3–4).

I believe in those “exceeding great and precious promises,” and I invite all within the sound of my voice to claim them. We should strive to “be partakers of the divine nature.” Only then may we truly hope for “peace in this world, and eternal life in the world to come” (D&C 59:23).

In that spirit I invite the Latter-day Saints to look to the temple of the Lord as the great symbol of your membership. It is the deepest desire of my heart to have every member of the Church worthy to enter the temple. It would please the Lord if every adult member would be worthy of—and carry—a current temple recommend. The things that we must do and not do to be worthy of a temple recommend are the very things that ensure we will be happy as individuals and as families.

Let us be a temple-attending people. Attend the temple as frequently as personal circumstances allow. Keep a picture of a temple in your home that your children may see it. Teach them about the purposes of the house of the Lord. Have them plan from their earliest years to go there and to remain worthy of that blessing.

If proximity to a temple does not allow frequent attendance, gather in the history of your family and prepare the names for the sacred ordinances performed only in the temple. This family research is essential to the work of the temples, and blessings surely will come to those who do that work.

We desire to bring the temples closer to our people. New temples have been announced and are under construction. Others are being planned. Soon we will dedicate the Orlando Florida and Bountiful Utah temples

My purpose in this post is to encourage myself and others that it's never too late to listen to the voice of the Lord given thru His prophets here upon the earth today.  To take that council into our hearts and change our very natures.  We have been given council since the beginning of this church.  We can now look back thru these invitations and see prophecy being fulfilled, but how will we ever know unless we read and understand the things which have been given us?  The way has been paved for us.  It is a lonely road at times.  I am grateful to have about 5 people in my life that are on the same part of the road that I am that we can draw strength from each other.  Today I asked my seminary class to write down 1 thing they can do to strengthen and watch over the members of our church and their friends- that is a responsibility of the priesthood, which I am apart.  I am under the same obligation.  I hope this little blog of my ramblings offers strength to someone else.

I leave you with the testimony of Gordon B Hinckley in that speech back in 1969: 

"God bless you, my dear young friends, you of the noble birthright, you of the covenant, you who are the greatest hope of this generation—young men and women of ability and conscience, of leadership and tremendous potential.

God bless you to walk fearlessly, even though you walk in loneliness, and to know in your hearts that peace which comes of squaring one’s life with principle, that “peace of God, which passeth all understanding” (Philippians 4:7), I humbly pray, as I leave with you my witness and my testimony of the divinity of this holy work. And as a servant of the Lord, I invoke upon you every joy as you go forward in your lives to rich and marvelously fruitful experiences, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen."

Guess what?  I wasn't even born yet when that speech was given.  Who is also part of the noble birthright and rising generation?  Yep, that's right, me.  We always talk about the youngest generation, but everyone from this dispensation has the same noble birthright, so let's start acting like it and stop thinking it's for someone else to step up their game (just a little plain speak there) ;0)

Gators and Lizards

Jared went in for his final foot surgery on Tuesday.  As a final meal we let Jared choose where we ate dinner on Monday night.....this is totally off topic, but I'm not sure I'll get back around to this.  After dinner we had a family history FHE and Nate was leading the charge.  He was after a "hearts before charts" vibe, so he pulled up the family tree on the television and we started looking up where all our ancestors were from and used a cool tool to see if you are related to any prophets and I think Nate's family is related to every Prophet - usually through a lot of cousins.  I took it as an opportunity to tell them that now they had better up their games -the bar was set!  It was awesome and the kids loved it.  Way to go Babe!

OK, back to my original story.  Jared chose a burger joint for dinner and they were playing classic rock.  It was seriously good tunes.  I started singing out loud "alligator lizards in the air"  and my boys thought I had finally lost all my marbles.  No, no.  Not me- the songwriter had.  We waited patiently for the line to come back around and I had to pull up the lyrics to prove that I was singing them correctly.  It's a classic.  Ventura Highway.  

This first picture is right after Jared got a hit of versed.  He didn't think it was having an effect on him yet.  Clearly by the expression on his face, it was!  I was laughing so hard.  He was having a hard time focusing, so for a little entertainment I asked him if he could touch his eye.  He thought I was being ridiculous until he had a hard time finding his eye!  As he was being wheeled away I told him, "hey Jared!  Alligator lizards in the air!" buwahaha

 Because it took him so long to wake from general last time, they didn't give him as much.  There was a downside to that.  This time instead of signing his favorite song, he was really grumpy.  His throat was also really bugging him this time and he couldn't figure out where he was instead of being mad that he didn't remember anything because big chunks of time were missing from his life.   Nate gave me a hard time for putting thoughts of alligators in Jared's head before he went in because when they woke him up he freaked out and went into a gator death roll and about rubbed off all his bandaging and about rolled off the table- he did not do that last time- because they couldn't wake him up -  I blame that, not myself ;)  Besides, now Nate can brag about wrestling a gator.  

 Now Jared has 2 perfect feet that are ready to take him far in life -especially a mission!  Watch out world, there's no stopping him now!

Jacked Up

In one picture; here is what is wrong with our country....and completely right with it (because this person feels comfortable driving around like that).  I was reading again in Alma about Moroni and all the preparation he had his people doing to protect themselves and this picture just makes me sick!

Lemonade

My husband and I are having great fun laughing at the fact that the 2 most anti-social people in the ward are suddenly finding themselves in charge of every single ward activity.  Now, I'm going to grumble for a moment.....because......it's a statement of fact viewed thru my prism.....not a criticism on the inner workings of the church.  In the good 'ole days we used to have activities committees.  Those have been tossed aside for the more favorable ward council approach.  This approach is better -in theory- because the specific needs of the individual members of our ward are more closely examined and opportunities to meet those needs are explored with much prayer and consideration.  More opportunities to get members involved and serving is the ideal.  Usually, however everyone just kinda stares at each other hoping someone else will come up with an idea so they don't have to do any work.  The new system has some flaws....that's all I'm saying. 

 My husband is in that ward council because of his calling.  We (he and I) believe that if we are supposed to be out in the world inviting our friends to church and wholesome activities that we better have some for the members to bring their friends to.  These activities have to be worth peoples time.  The pioneers spent their evenings together after a hard and defeating day joining together in song and praise.  That's how they unified themselves and gained strength to continue on their journey.  

The world is in desperate need of unity and the church is not excluded from that need...in fact, it should be leading the charge.  

This is how you end up with the least social people being in charge of social activities.  It's pretty comical.  I guess I'm forced into helping others socialize because when you're in charge of an event there isn't a whole lot of socializing going on - you're busy making sure everyone else is. 

We have a very small building that we meet in.  It has a gym, but it is very small.  How do you make lemonade out of that situation?  A redneck joke comes to mind...."when you're inside furniture becomes your outside furniture....."  haha.  We moved every single table and chair to the outside.  We even wheeled the piano outside and prayed someone had a sound system lying around we could use.  More people came than expected so we really did end up pulling every single non-broken table and chair outside.  

We had our annual chili and dessert cook off and for entertainment - a talent show.  It was tons of prep and tear down and I came home and went to bed at 8:30, but we had a great turn out.  Lots of members brought friends and got to know each other better.  

The mormon party culture is a strange one.  I thought of it as I was consolidating and breaking down tables while the talent show was going on.  The picking up peoples trash and ripping off table covers while they are still sitting there.  How truly dedicated we are to leaving a party in record speed.  The biggest blessing of putting together an activity like this is all the help you receive for the tear down.  Lots of people pitched in and everything was put away in 1/10th the time it took us to put it together.  Here's how I know I'm a sentimental sap.  Seeing everyone band together in a common purpose....even if it's just putting away everything after a party - really instills in me a sense of unity.  It's my favorite part.  It's just an added bonus that the night is actually over as well ;)  The feeling is similar to the feelings I have when I see people I know at the temple.  It is an at onement.  

Now it's on to the next 2 activities.  No rest for the wicked!  Thank goodness I had a partner in the madness.  My husband usually comes home and tells me he's in charge of something which translates into me being in charge.  Her husband is a member of that council as well so we banded together,  accepted our fate and planned out the next 2 activities as well- which were taken back to the council to council over.   All things must be done with proper authority and inspiration.  It's the principle Nephi taught so well when after his bow was broken, he fixed it and then went and asked his father where he should go to obtain food.  There should be wisdom and order in all things.  Not just individual members going around doing what they think is best.  We are all sheepherders, but we need to all be following the Master Shepard (in a ward that master Shepard is the bishop, who is following the Stake President who is following the Prophet who is following Jesus Christ- who's church this is) by leading the sheep in 1 direction instead of many.    

I would call the night a success.  It met the needs and goals we had for the members of our ward for this activity.  We had an awesome talent show where we got to see sides of our fellow brothers and sisters we hadn't seen before.  We got to see who we would want to bring us dinner if the need arises by testing out the cooking skills of everyone (somehow I didn't manage to taste anything but a super yummy looking brownie that I snagged and ate on the run because I was too busy).  The kids had their own little adventure with the biggest star of the night.....all the little snails that they were running around catching and a poor preying mantis that may have gotten tortured.  

I've heard it said before and I think Elder Maxwell has a version of this as well, but I intend to spend my days wearing myself out in the service of the Lord.  Why?  Because it's totally worth it!

Amen Sister!

Yesterday I took Emma and Jared to the temple to do baptisms for some of my Mom's side of the family and we also took names for some friends.  One of the coolest things about living in a small town for so long is that you start knowing a lot of people.  One of the perks of knowing a lot of people is that I can pretty much guarantee running into someone I know every time I'm at the temple. One of the friends that I ran into when I went to get the family names printed off knows that I work 2-3 times a month and I go with my group 2 times a month.  I had seen her at the temple last Thursday when I worked and then I ran into her yesterday.  She said "do you live at the temple?"  This coming from a girl who tries to go once a week.  If only I could live at the temple!

The next person we ran into was a really cute guy from the other ward in our building who's getting ready to go on his mission.  He was performing the confirmations.  I talked to him briefly when we were done and found out that he was leaving in 12 days and where he was going.

After we finished up Emma and Jared went out to the car while I waited for the little blue and pink cards to be recorded and then met them outside.  When I got outside I found Emma taking a picture of the temple.  I asked if she wanted to be in it and I got the "are you kidding me, have you seen the way I look" look.  I told her she was beautiful and no one could tell if she were wearing make-up or not in a picture.  She still wouldn't let me......that deserves it's own post, but I won't be writing about it here because she would interpret that as embarrassing.  I have my own issues that I try to get over by purposefully taking (what I consider) ugly photos of myself!  I'm not strong enough to do that all the time, but I don't want to look back on my life and not be able to find myself in any pictures.  I was here!  No matter what I thought I looked like.  Besides, after a couple of years you look back at those bad pictures and realize you didn't look as bad as you thought you did.....especially because you usually think you look even worse now.  Seriously messed up in the brain!  I digress.

After she finished taking her picture she said.  "There is nothing more attractive than a cute guy.  In the temple.  Getting ready to leave on his mission."  Amen sister.  I actually either said "you know that's right" or "true story bro."  I'm not sure which one I said, but I loved hearing what she thinks makes someone attractive.  If I had to find a husband, I wouldn't look anywhere other than the temple.  If he's not going to the temple, I don't care how cute or successful he is....we don't have enough in common!

Here's what else I love about this.  This attractive boy is a popular boy.  When he decided to go on a mission he started posting lots of stuff to his fb account.  My daughter took notice.  She admired him for it.  When I issued a challenge to my students to participate in "flooding the earth" from the devotional Elder Bednar gave, she was really nervous.  She didn't want to look like all of a sudden that's who she was and just gonna start posting a ton of stuff.  She gained confidence knowing that someone else was doing it and still alive and that she could start small.  She posted a quote.  What did she do with this picture?  By the time we had gotten home I had a notification that I was tagged in a photo that she posted of where she had just been.  Way to go sister!  She is making herself more and more attractive in the same way she notices the attractiveness in someone else.    

Anxious

For awhile now I've been trying to discern the gifts of the spirit.  To try and figure out when it's just me that wants to do something.  This is a hard process to discern especially because the more you try to become like the Savior the more he steps back and let's you go - therefore, your will becomes the Lord's will and it's hard to know the difference.  

One of the specific things I was examining were feelings of anxiety.  I got started down this path by something someone said to me and it got me confused for a bit.  I understand what this person was saying, but it still tripped me up.  

Now, I only wish I had the time to develop this into something fully thought out and well documented, but I don't.  I haven't just read a bunch of things in the scriptures or in books that I can easily recall and add them into this.  This is a good 'ole fashion - the world according to me - kinda post.  I am examining recent experiences that have helped me understand who I am and how the Lord works with me - specifically.  This is a subject that is so individualized and tricky.  People get frustrated when not enough is said on the subject to help them be able to discern these things for themselves more easily.  The truth is - this is a journey everyone must take alone.  We can get a few tips and pointers along the way but that doesn't mean that you will have the same experiences.  

I'm going to start with a given.  Everyone knows what the gifts of the spirit are.  Everyone knows what it means to be anxiously engaged.  Everyone knows what anxiety feels like.  

This thought process started back this summer when my son was trying to figure out why something would make him cry at EFY.  He was attributing those feelings to anxiety.  Why anxiety?  Because he was feeling sympathy for their situation.  He was feeling sympathy for them in sharing these experiences.  He was having sympathy anxiety for them.  He was thinking that because he could put the feeling into worldly explanations that it wasn't feeling the spirit.  It wasn't peace unto his soul.  

That reminds me of a quote by Elder Oaks about a burning bosom.  He said that he never felt a burning and if that were the only qualification than he's never felt the spirit before.  I believe he said that he gets calm reassurance or a clear directive.  (It would take me awhile to go back and find the quote it was either in one of the lessons for doctrine and covenants or it was in the book I just read about how to know if you know)

What I can tell you from my own experience is that there is a difference in feeling when I'm experiencing spiritual anxiety -as in anxiously engaged- and when I'm experiencing - this is bad or I'm ill prepared anxiety.  For a little while I was willing to discount all feelings of anxiety being spiritual because of the latter mentioned.  

There is a feeling that I get when I know that I need to tell someone something.  It's a quick thought that comes to my mind directing me towards action.  This makes me nervous.  There are lots of reasons for the nervousness depending on the situation.  Part of anxiety is the expecting and anticipating part.  The "oh man, I hope this goes well."  It can also be triggered by the need to share something I feel deeply about.  "How will this be received?"  "Is this really inspiration or am I being an idiot?" Doing what the Lord wants you to do isn't the most comfortable thing.  He's trying to help you grow and stretch - and since when was that comfortable and lacking anxiety? 

On fast Sunday I had an experience with these anxious feelings.  I had no plan of baring my testimony.  I was really sure I had no plan of it when 2 members of the stake presidency were sitting on the stand.  I had no idea what I would even talk about.  I was trying to fulfill a challenge that I had given my seminary students about coming to sacrament repentant and listening for what I needed to do that week or what things I need to work on or change.  That's where my mind was.  I always do a little self evaluation by asking myself if I need to bare my testimony.  Most of the time I feel pretty good about saying no.  In fact it is an extremely rare occasion that I decide to make that long walk up to the podium.  I get plenty of opportunities through teaching or giving a talk that I don't feel it necessary.  Well, all of a sudden that feeling hit me.  It is an anxious feeling.  A feeling that propels you to action that you are not wanting to take.  I thought that I had better come up with something to say.  I almost talked myself out of going up there because I was content with the direction the testimonies were going in and didn't think mine needed to be added to shift the direction.  I thought the feeling was going to go away and then I realized that it most certainly would if I was unwilling to act.  If you're not willing to do what the Lord wants he's got plenty of others more willing that he will go to.  I somehow convinced my legs to stand and made my way up there and my mouth was filled.  All while feeling extremely anxious, yet calm.  Can't really tell you how those 2 feelings can exist at the same time, but they do for me.  

I had another experience yesterday while at my son's IEP for his gifted learning.  It's a mandatory meeting that we have once a year to check on what we need to be doing and what the school needs to be doing for my son.  To make a long drawn out story short.  The person that is the "tradition specialist" was at the meeting, we'll call her A.  A was presenting herself as a train wreck.  I gave her ample time to compose herself because we've all had those days where you just look like an idiot in front of people.  Her clothing was atrocious for such a meeting.  She was on her cell phone the entire time texting and surfing fb.  When she did try to add she didn't know what she was talking about and fumbling throughout the entire process to form a cohesive sentence.  It was a big fat joke.  Now, full disclosure.  I was thinking the entire time about how educators think they are so superior and how on earth did this woman get a degree of any kind.  I was thinking of the term "low information voter" and her placement in the position probably had more to do with her political affiliation than qualification.  I'm the uneducated dunderhead that needs to be baby step guided through the rigors of educating the children of tomorrow by this sorry excuse for mental superiority.  

Guess what?  I started feeling anxious.  I needed to tell this woman that she was completely unprofessional.  Believe me, I didn't want to.   We are being conditioned to live in this world, ever so slowly, of - sit down, shut up and take it.  Don't get me started on TSA!  I almost talked myself out of saying anything because I would just end up looking like the villain.  I was talking myself into not throwing the starfish back into the sea because there are too many to throw back in and I can't possibly save them all.  By that I mean, trying to make a difference.  Holding people to a higher standard and feeling like I can't because the problem is so much bigger than I can fix.  

The other members of "the team" started filing out of the room and I figure that this was my moment. I had her alone so I wasn't confronting her in front of her peers.  I had to put my hand on the table in front of her to get her to look up from her phone at me.  Through my anxiety ridden body I calmly told her that I was disappointed in her lack of professionalism.  She said she was sorry and that this was "last minute" I kindly told her that her being on her phone had nothing to do with the meeting being last minute and then I left.  As I walked past the principles office I decided that I needed to stop there too.  Great.  My first encounter with the new principle was going to be this.  Fantastic.  I might as well strap my children to the whipping post myself for the heat this was likely to cause them.  Turns out the meeting went extremely well and we laughed and enjoyed each others company.  She was embarrassed that the school district was represented in such a matter, took notes and was filing a complaint against the "specialist."  There was peace in what I was doing through the anxiety.  I removed all emotion from the situation while expressing my concerns.  My biggest success is that I didn't cry because usually when I've got a situation like that my emotions get the better of me and I start to cry.  

The bottom line is this.  Those anxious feelings motivate me to action.  They get me anxiously engaged.  When I take that scary step into the dark, I can always feel a calm reassurance that I have done what I was supposed to do.  My heart is still beating wildly fast, but I am calm and comforted and words fill my cotton filled mouth that I had no thought to say.  

Whatever causes those feelings of anxiety, whether to raise my hand and comment in a class, to bare my testimony, to give a talk, to confront someone, to stand up for myself, to offer an apology to someone, to tell someone how much they mean to you, to share something deeply personal with someone.....whatever the situation, I know that when I have feelings of anxiety because of a quick thought of action, if I follow thru, the Lord backs me up and helps me know that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing.  Even though anxiety can be explained by a chemical reaction, my mouth being filled with what to say doesn't have a similar explination.  

Satisfaction

One of the things that brings me the most satisfaction is when I've got a really big zit on my face that refuses to get a head - and when it finally does - and you get to pop that sucker - it feels awesome!

I bet you thought I had something profound to say.  Nope.  That was it!  Ha!  I really did have a massive zit on my cheek that I've been walking around with for a couple of days.  I finally had a little chat with it and told it it was time to go, and it finally let me pop it.  Ah, it felt good.  What really stinks is that my 17 year old daughter has a bright and shiny face clear of all zitage.  She thinks it's pretty funny that my face is a bigger mess than hers.  Yeah, real funny.  I've been dealing with zits my entire life.  One would think that when you hit middle age that you would finally be free -especially since the rest of your body has stopped working- you would think your pores could give it a rest as well.

On a much brighter and slightly more comical note - I tore a muscle in my calf yesterday afternoon- doing something really heroic ....... running down the stairs!  Yep, that's right.  How old is my body?  Old enough to tear a muscle by simply running down the stairs. When I hit the landing on the floor below there was a nice pop and I was in debilitating pain and lying on the ground.  It was one of those moments where you can either laugh or cry.  I chose laugh.  My daughter chose laugh as well because I couldn't walk - it's surprising how much you need your calf muscle to walk.  But hey - I get the satisfaction of gaining more miles out of this lovely boot that Jared wore around after his surgery and that he will be wearing again after tues when his other foot gets fixed......I try not to think of sweaty teenage non-showered leg that was previously in it.  Gross!

Now this next one might sound a little mean, but no ones perfect. I get the satisfaction of seeing some white teeth smiling back at me.  Poor Nate, he spent 4 hours at the dentist office.  He hates the dentist.  He had to get a root canal for his dead front tooth - that really had become part of his personality.  Then he got his tooth whitened from the inside and then all the teeth from the outside.  It was pretty crazy looking!  My other little bit of satisfaction came when he started complaining about the air hurting his teeth.  It's always nice when someone else finally gets to suffer through something that you've been through and didn't get the sympathy you desired.  Poor baby :0)

Ok, now I will turn this to some positive and uplifting satisfaction......because I just can't help myself.  Tricked you again.  I'm feeling a bit punchy tonight.  I think it's because I just realized that I'm hangry.  I'm going to cure it with a bowl of cereal.  Tonight it's frosted flakes.  

Saturday I got to do something pretty awesome.  Go to a convert baptism.  What made it cool is that I used to visit one of them when I was a ward missionary a couple of years ago.  We had sister missionaries at the time and I went out with them frequently.  I haven't been around much since, so I get zero credit, but it was still fun to go and show support.  I've been back in gospel principles the last month with another investigator where she has been going, so I got to rekindle my relationship with M.  It was even more fun when I showed up to the baptism and found Sister L there.  She drove from Utah just to be there for M and her sister (the sister just recently moved here and wanted to be baptized with her sister)  I'm just throwing that word "sister" around and it's getting confusing when you don't use names!  Anyway.....we have Elders now and it was their baptism.  

It was quite satisfying to be able to see a process through and to witness that timing has a lot to do with things.  M had been meeting with the missionaries for a couple of years and it was finally right when her sister moved back home.  What an awesome day......I know I use that word a lot, but it really was a day filled with awe.  On a slightly sad note, it was transfer day today.  Those elders were rocking it, hopefully the new one is awesome.  

On the very same Saturday and only 1 hour later, we went to the baptism of our friend's kid - Emma also babysits for them.  It was an action packed Saturday and I scored some really tasty pumpkin pie brownie type things that made the intermission between the 2 pretty fantastic.  

Last but not least.  Today I finally pulled out the family history bin, said a little prayer that I would be able to find some people, and started working.  It was pretty slow going and I was about to give up when I got a hot tip from a little leaf on my ancestry account.  I had to do some investigative work because people that shared my people disagreed on who some parents were.  I did the best I could checking their sources, crossed my fingers and picked the best documented ones.  I soon confirmed that I picked correctly and felt awesome.  I want to take the older kids to the temple on Friday and we needed some names.  My next hurdle was to see if their work had already been done - there's nothing more frustrating - which shouldn't be frustrating because that's just silly- when you discover that after you've documented everything, you've got no pink or blue slips of paper to show for all your hard work.  Today though, I've got little blue and pink slips of paper representing some distant relative....or as the awful yet oh so catchy song goes.....I found my cousins!  Well....I don't exactly have the slips of paper yet, but I have the paper that gets me those papers....got it? haha :0)

All in all, a pretty satisfying couple of days.  

Is an Intervention in our Future?

Well that was a loaded question.  After I wrote that line I thought of our country needing and intervention and an entire post I could write about that.  Nope, I'm not tackling the worlds problems today in this post.  There are lots of people out there currently doing a great job and I prefer to hear from them.  The greatest thing I read yesterday from an essay called "Food For Thought" and it's about 11 ways to know you are living in a country run by idiots.  I would just refer you to that article as evidence for the need for an intervention.

It's also the anniversary of the terrorist attack on our country today and with everything going on with ISIS and a president that doesn't get it we are most likely headed for another one.  Luckily I'll be in the temple for most of the day today so I'll be ready for whatever.

Now on to something silly that helps me make it thru the day of living in a country run by idiots.  My daughter.  I fear that I may have introduced her to a genre of films that may ruin her chances for marriage.  Here's the txt I got from her a couple of days ago

She ordered herself tea cups.  According to her, her life is now complete.  Good thing we don't currently have any cats living with us.....at one time very recently it was 3!  I told her that I thought it was super cute and fun, but if she started going down the crazy train path with Mr Darcey stuff plastered everywhere and talking about going to a reenactment camp - we were going to have a little intervention!  I also didn't respond appropriately to her txt.  Shame on me! :0)

 You can't have the prettiest tea cups ever and not have a tea party.  We learned etiquette and Jared schooled us in the proper use of tea cups......if it wasn't real tea, you shouldn't use them.  Kill joy!  Herbal tea and hot water with lemon are perfectly acceptable!

There were 4 different patterns and this was her favorite.  I should have gotten a picture of the cup she let me use because she said it was "so you."

Did you really think I could post something and not say anything about seminary?  Silly, silly!  After our monthly training meeting with our stake, my partner and I came home and talked about some things we needed to tweak.  We've both been feeling like we needed to make a greater emphasis on the 9 basic doctrines and tying them into all the scripture mastery verses.  I had them posted on one of my bulletin boards but they were small and hard to see - not very prominent.  She said "not that I want to take over your house or suggest something crazy....but you're already headed there (you're not taking down the bulletin boards everyday)....so, could we put the 9 doctrines big across the top?"  So, there they are.  Stuck to the wall and they ain't coming down.  My dining room is quite the conversation piece........just wait until after General Conference and I post all the students favorite quotes on the wall!  There may be an intervention in my future?

No intervention for me.  I feel like King Lamoni  who said that he would give away everything -including his kingdom - to know this God Aaron was talking about.  What things and what sins are we willing to give away?  As an experiment I gave up my beloved coke 1 year ago.  Before that I gave up cable and satellite tv.   Trashy music with a good beat are gone from my life.  I've given up my time and a dining room. I have no regrets and I don't feel like I should be embarrassed when people come over.  What is important to me is evident in everything I do and am.  I have found that the more I give up the more I want to give up and it is less of a struggle to do it.  (sweets are a major struggle for me and I would love to give those up too, but they bring me so much joy!) We are here to sanctify ourselves and it is no small task, but it is doable with a little faith in action.  My kids would most likely disagree and they are probably planning my intervention right now! haha :0)

Typical Day

I thought it would be fun to capture a typical day in the life of my family.  Yesterday in the mail our long awaited tasty treats finally made their way from the UK all the way to NM.  It was a pretty toasty day and the chocolate was a melty mess, but that didn't stop us.  

Our family isn't like other families who are into sports or music (seriously) or working out in strange ways....that reminds me of a commercial I saw for crop fit.  You know.  Instead of cross fit.  Buwahaha working out with old fashion farm equipment.  Seriously, I think that's probably next.  Anyway.  We are a bit nerdy and probably if I had to list a family talent, it would be arguing and thinking.  One thing we can come together on is our love for all things British....including treats.  Jared is the one that suggested that we try them even though he hates all things fruity.  He still wanted to try them.   Did we go on a trip there?  Did a friend go and bring us back something?  No and No, here's how we roll- we order things off the internet and wait for them in the mail.  

After the first bite I wasn't sure, but then the taste lingered and I wanted more and pretty soon I had downed 3 cakes.  No one else in my family likes them so I'm stuck eating 3 boxes by myself.  Oh dear....I'm feeling a juice diet coming on. 

 

 Yesterday we had to go to 2 different schools for "curriculum night." People actually stand in hideously long lines while parents drone on an on about who knows what with their child's teacher - who probably barely knows who the kids are at this point.  I don't torture myself like that....or the teachers for that matter.  I just have my kids show me around their classes and we wave at people as we zip thru the school.  On our way out of the middle school the heavens opened up and we got drenched.  We were laughing as we ran to the car getting pelted with rain.  The cool thing was that after our next stop at the elementary school, where we parked in the mud, there was a rainbow coming out of the mountain....or landing on it.  I really do love those mountains! 

 We got something else in the mail (because I was too lazy to go clear back to the music store) a music book for Ethan's trumpet.  I got so incredibly lucky getting that cornet from his piano teacher - yay, no rental fee!  I guess Jared was getting nostalgic and decided to get out his trumpet ( I bought that poc off the internet -like the spit valve cover?)  They were being so adorable playing together.  I tried to be sneaky about getting the pic because I knew Jared would take off if he saw me.  Luckily I just got the tongue sticking out.  We are like so close to being a family traveling band!  I just needed Jordy in there on her flute, Emma playing the piano and me singing really badly.....Nate could drive the RV.  Oh wait.  I almost forgot.  He plays the saxophone.  That was one of his most attractive qualities in high school....jazz band.  That and his mullet.  No.  Seriously.  I dug it.  

 Here is a picture of a boy and his best friend.  Ethan and I have a pretty heavy competition going for who is Watson's favorite.  Watson sleeps on Ethan's bed with him every night.  In fact the other morning when Ethan was sick Watson refused to go on a walk with me.  He wouldn't leave Ethan.  Today I found them playing on the computer together.  For the record.  Watson is sitting at my feet right now and not Ethan's.  

 I decided that I was not enjoying my other method of lesson preparation.  My lessons seem to produce lots and lots of question asking and talking.....which is always....ok most always...on topic, so it's totally the point but I couldn't find my way to the most important points fast enough to not feel like my lessons were frenzied.  

I decided to try a method from one of the training videos.  I modified it to fit my style and what I need to know, but I taught with it today and it went so much better.  I know exactly what I can summarize from a scripture block and what points I wanted to bring out from each one.  When I don't have enough time I know exactly where I want to go.  My entire lesson is written out using this method. The pic is actually the last page of my last lesson on the left, and on the right is the first page of my next lesson.  I went from 1 page of notes to 2 per lesson, but it is working much better.  My brain still gets dumb in the middle of a lesson and things I thought I would for sure talk about don't get brought up, but hopefully the things that are most important for the kids are getting in there.  

 One more pic of the mountain because it is seriously beautiful.  The last remaining light of the rainbow is barely visible.  I can't see the Albuquerque temple from where I live, but I can see a Mountain of the Lord no matter where I am in the city.