One Redeeming Quality.......

Ok, so maybe there are a couple more qualities that are good in my not so little Champ! The dog is costing me a fortune though in destroyed items around the house. Namely shoes, toys, food, remote controls, the mop basically you name it and he wants to chew it! He is really good about not chewing on furniture; I guess that is a plus. We might be up to two redeeming qualities?? Ok, Ok number 3 would have to be that he doesn't go crazy whenever someone is at the door. He also surprisingly left the Christmas tree alone! Champ is just a huge ball of energy that literally poops his body weight in a week which has got to be 50 or 60 pounds! Yea, yea, I know Ang........"I told you their poop was huge" (insert evil cackle)!!!!! lol One good thing about the size of the poop is that with my handy dandy pooper scooper it is really easy to find and pick up. Did I just turn something negative into a positive????? Way to go me!!! :) Anyway, while Nate has been home the last few days he took Champ on his walks and so I didn't go and that has not worked out so well for me and my holiday food binging. So his best quality is that he is my own little treadmill that doesn't allow me to not feel like exercising. Rain, snow and wind have not kept us from our little walks outside and I must say that I have really enjoyed them (except for when he turns into psyco dog) and missed them these last couple of days. Maybe one of these days I can actually say that I like my dog.....for more than just a treadmill. ;) He is a sweet boy and is learning pretty quickly how to be a good boy.....if I could only channel my inner "dog whisperer" we could sail right through this puppy stage and into blissful adulthood. BTW Can you believe I actually let my massively shedding dog on my lap---let alone the couch---with me? I'm such a sucker! :) Look at him eyeing that remote! He is just acting like he wants me to pet and love on him while he secretly plots his move for the tasty and irresistible remote!

Flyin' Solo Mid-Day

Last week I had finally had enough of waiting for someone to see Twilight with me so I went by my lonesome in the middle of the day. I dropped Jordyn off at school and booked it on over to the theater. It started out with just me and 3 other lonesome people one of which was an old man snoring. Yes, snoring. When the lights went down and the previews started I thought surely that would wake him from his matinee slumber but he just continued to saw logs....very loudly. In the mean time a retired couple came in and sat in the same isle as Mr. Snooze and then 2 guys came in and sat behind me. By this time I was really starting to stress about the situation I had in front of me. Was Mr. Snooze show hopping and really just wanted to sleep or did he really want to see this teenybopper vampire movie in which case he would be really bummed to discover that he missed anything. How would I wake this guy? Kick his seat? Tap him on the shoulder? What to do, what to do?! Also, I was mostly worried about my own enjoyment factor with his seat rumbling but luckily as soon as the movie started he magically popped into awareness looked around for a moment, as if to recall to his brain where he was, and away we went into the magical land of teenage vampire love.

I had extremely low expectations for this film. I knew that the cheese factor would be pretty high and I knew that I wasn't fond of the casting. I also heard from my nieces that the soundtrack sucked and that Edward's lullaby was creepy. OK, time for true confessions....I really didn't mind the movie and I really liked the soundtrack. What does this say about me? I will say that I never really liked Edward......at least for myself....but he did work for Bella, so that worked for me. Jasper was just plain creepy but I liked everyone else fine--with the exception of some bad acting moments. I would also have to say that my love for the books filled in any gaps the film left for me and when it got too cheesy I reflected on the book and it made it better. I am hoping that with the new director for the next film they are able to get it right and Edward (whatever the actors name is) works on his flirting skills because that was a major element in the book and he just didn't cut it. He did have intense down and saying things with his eyes so I will give him that. Anyway........should I be worried about my mental state? I think I am more worried about the mental state of the 2 guys sitting behind me. What the heck were they doing in this movie????? It was really killing me not to ask them and if I had more guts I would have. I'm a big fat chicken! It would have been way more fun to have seen it with someone but sometimes you just have to fly solo. Oh, I almost forgot...... A few days later Nate and I finally got around to watching 24 Redemption and I said "who needs a vampire when you've got Jack Bauer!" Can you say hhhhhooooooottttttt?!

What I learned while folding laundry

Last week I was struggling pretty hard with some emotions that I thought that I had under control. Isn't it funny how sometimes the rational side of your brain and the irrational side just seem to collide at times? I was struggling with what I thought was an insufficient amount of gratitude shown towards me and my husband for something that we did for someone. I went into the situation knowing this would happen and telling myself that people express their gratitude in different ways and that all was fine............well, apparently it wasn't because as more days went on the more it started to really eat away at me especially knowing that if the roles were reversed how I would show and express my appreciation for this thing that was done. The thing that was bothering me the most is what I perceived was an attitude of expectation. Because you have you must give to me, which really frosts my cookies. I was getting the house ready for family to come and visit and decided to put my headphones on and just try to escape my reality for awhile. I really wanted to get over these feelings and knew I needed to knock it off, but I just couldn't seem to turn it off. So, while sitting on the floor of my bedroom folding laundry a thought came to my mind, and it was this....

The ten lepers. Did I really just get this thought? Maybe I better check this out. I immediately popped out the earphones and went to get my scriptures and opened them up to Luke 17:11-19. Who better to understand the feelings I felt than the savior himself who showed mercy to 10 lepers and only 1 returned to thank him. This one passage taught me 4 things. First; that Christ has this happen to him again and again, so he knew what I was going through. Second; that if someone could show such ingratitude for being healed of leprosy than certainly I was going to face this problem in my life. Thirdly; was that I was the one that needed to fall on my face and thank Heavenly Father for all the mercy he has shown me in my life and a way that I can show that gratitude was to recognise that all that I have is not mine and that my lesson for now was to give freely. The forth thing that I learned is that there are plenty of occasions in my life where I probably didn't show the proper amount of gratitude to people who have helped me out.

The next day in my inbox was an article from LDSLiving entitled "The Power of "Thank You.""
Robert Emmons, professor of psychology at the UofCA, was sited in this article for his belief that the power of a thank-you note is incredible, and that there are three main benefits:
1. Expressing emotions magnifies the feeling, so expressing thanks makes our gratitude stronger.
2. Expressing thanks builds and strengthens relationships. He says gratitude is the relationship building emotion, so not only do we benefit on an individual level, but we create better bonds with others.
3. It humbles us. the natural man has a self-serving bias and the tendency to take sole credit for everything positive. Acknowledging that something good is a result of someone else provides us with a humbling experience.

So, I am grateful for a Father in Heaven that took the time to show love and compassion towards me by teaching me such a great and valuable lesson (or 4). Does this mean that I am completely healed of my feeling, not quite, but I'm getting there with a much fuller understanding than I went into the situation with.

After thought ......Please don't try to guess who or what this is about because that is not the point. I really just wanted to tell the miraculous story of the revelation that was given so graceously to me when I least expected it or even thought I was deserving of it. This is my journal of sorts and I wanted the occasion documented and shared.

A lot can be learned while folding the laundry if you're listening!

Can't Sleep

Life just got a whole lot more interesting in the last 48 hours. A flurry of activity and excitement just sprang up from no where I tell ya! Nathan had been getting ready for the annual "Turkey Camp out" this weekend and I was discussing a funny conversation I had been having with my niece with him. I had been giving her a hard time about not being able to come for Thanksgiving and wanting to meet her new "friend" who is from Albuquerque--of all places! Well, yesterday we found out that she was able to come after all. Sweet.... now I could be the crazy Aunt and torture this poor young man for her family that wouldn't get to be here to do it themselves. I told my sister-in-law, Jenny, that "I bet I will be getting a call from my nieces Dad about how bummed they were that we would get to meet this friend and to please torture him for them." Sure enough I got the call but instead of torture by proxy they were going to come and do it themselves. Holy Majolies! We are going to have a house full. We will be having 4 adults and 8 kids staying at our house with another 7 adults and 6 kids for Thanksgiving dinner and on any given night with another possible another 2 adults and 2 kids. (long story) We may be able to throw in a couple more if my other sister-in-law that lives in Utah is feeling better and the loneliness gets to them. So for sure 13 adults and 18 kids for dinner. This is going to be awesome! We've done it before for the family reunion so we know it can be done.

So, why can't I sleep??........ Hello, did you just read what I wrote? Actually it's hard for me to sleep anyway when Nate's not around and I'm just making a list of all the things I want to have done by Tues morning when the first guests arrive. I like to be prepared so that we can just enjoy each other. It has been too long since we have seen Nate's oldest brother and his family. It is going to be a blast for sure! Luckily we finally have a house that has enough bathrooms to accommodate this much family. We have lots of fun things planned and hopefully the time doesn't slip away too fast.

So I have a little prediction......my niece will be engaged to this "friend" by the end of the trip or shortly thereafter..... if he survives the mob! :)

We love family and it makes us feel so special to have so much of our family here for the holidays. I don't know when the last time so much of us were together for anything other than a wedding or a family reunion.

There's always room at the inn.

The only real bummer is that my husband is out of cell phone range with our boys camping in the freezing cold so I can't give his "honey do" list until they get home tomorrow afternoon. The poor guys not gonna know what hit him when he gets home. :( Actually I can make another prediction that when I tell him about the new guest coming he will say something like "sweet" and ask me for the "honey do" list. :)

Lost Art

We just got our new computer set up a couple of days ago and in the process of moving everything over I stumbled across this picture. When we went to Washington a couple of years ago for my brothers wedding my Mom pulled this picture out to remind me of my talent or something like that..... My senior year of high school I took an art class and this was probably my final or something to that effect. That art class was a blast and I had many great times in there. I took art several times throughout my school years and I'm not quite sure why I stopped because I really did enjoy it as long as I didn't have to come up with something out of thin air to draw. This was a picture out of a magazine. Anyway, can you tell what year it was by the eyebrows and the nice pink background? What really kills me is my Mom's pride and joy of a hideous couch the chalk artwork is resting on for the picture. Oooh and at the top of the picture you can see the real 70's round chair thing with the wicker frame that is back in style now in an updated version. I used to be so embarrassed by that chair....and the couch for that matter......and by everything else in my childhood. I obviously realized that I had little talent and never returned drawing. I really don't even think I could duplicate this thing now. I have turned what little bit of "artsyness" in me to decorating my house and other avenues of expression I guess. Just thought I would give everyone some funny insight into my youth.

Things that made me laugh today

I'm not sure if I'm just in desperate need of a good laugh lately or what my deal is exactly, but I got this email from Nate and it really had me laughing. I put just a couple of my favorite pictures from this one and here they are.....

Top ten moments when it's OK to say....
Oh @#$%!!!
#10
#5

#4

and the #1 moment when it's OK to say.....

Oh @#$%!!!

I have been overusing my curse words lately and I'm really trying to cut back. I may need an intervention pretty soon if I can't get it under control. ;) This was some good advise on appropriate use as well as extremely funny. All the pictures were great but I didn't want a huge post.

I occasionally also find some flair that makes me laugh and I was bored last night so I started browsing around and found a couple that had me laughing pretty good. In case you have a hard time reading the 1st one.... it's Santa saying "Oh great. A flat! Too funny!

Isn't this next one so true? How many times have you seen a person and went "Yikes! They've had some work done!" Doesn't it defeat the purpose if you can tell that they've had work done, or is that the point?

This next one isn't necessarily funny as much as it makes you wonder... coincidence???...I think not! It's a bit blurry on the bottom, but it says "now say it fast." Sorry for the 2 Obama mentions, but it's on my mind quite a bit lately. It still makes me shutter to think of him as president so if I can find a way to laugh about it, I'm going to!

Does anyone have an infinite abyss that I can borrow?

I was just out this afternoon while Jordyn was at preschool on my 2nd walk of the day with Champ. I was even bold enough to let him off the leash and see how he would do. He did fantastic. Every time he would get ahead he would turn around and wait for me and then take off again. How sweet is that. Even when he would find something intriguing in someones yard I could call him and he would come running. We were gone for about an hour just enjoying the beautiful blue sky and relatively warm weather. I was thinking how much I love where we live. I love that I can just let my dog take off and not worry about all the traffic and despite everything that has happened I love my house. When I get home I kick off my shoes and have a piece of well earned pie while Champ takes a nap at my feet. I could really get used to a life of dog walks and house cleaning. It's not so bad. Anyway, I go and get Jordyn from school and come home to an envelope on my front door. Oh great, perfectly Utopian day squashed like a pesky bug in seconds!

I don't even know where to begin. There is literally volumes I could say regarding the mess that is owning my house! I will try to condense and make very short this story to save myself from carpo tunnel and you from sheer boredom. Many, many problems with the house. Company going bankrupt. Carpenters no longer working for company. Still have things not done on house. Big things!!! Getting letters from vendors stating they haven't been paid and they are putting liens on our house. Can't get ahold of builder. We paid for the house already. We need a lawyer. I got my 4th such letter on my door when I came home from my walk. There are thousands and thousands of dollars that are owed to various vendors that we can now not get to come out and fix their work until they are paid and on top of that they put liens on our house. Sometimes I marvel at how just peachy my life seems to be at times!

So, I am looking for an infinite abyss to stand over and scream until my lounges give out and my voice goes hoarse and I am so worn out that I am in danger of falling in. Does anyone have one? Luckily I had the wisdom to stop at sonic on my way home for happy hour so I think I will take my marvelously large cherry coke into my closet and have a good cry.

Puppy Love

Dog ownership, take two............ This Saturday the search for a replacement for our beloved Cody began and then ended with Champ. Nate took the kids over to a no kill animal shelter to check out a litter of lab puppies that were ready for adoption only to find out that they all had ring worm and were quarantined. :( They then spotted some super cute cocker/lab mix puppies that wouldn't be avail for a couple of weeks. While they were talking to some volunteers someone brought in a 5 month old yellow lab/retriever for surrender due to some domestic problems. Well, needless to say everyone immediately fell in love with this little (huge) puppy named Champ. Nate and the kids wanted some time to think and the shelter was going to load this little guy up for the mobile adoption so off they went to eat some lunch and think. Emma called and told me about this dog they were in love with and I gave them the go ahead, but then they couldn't find the mobile adoption. One long story and wild goose chase later one of the volunteer ladies decided to take him home as a foster because he seemed pretty sad and so she had to bring him back so we could look at him again. This little guy went from 1 home to another within the same day, but he is taking it like a Champ. :) I'm not overly fond of the name, but he knows it so we'll see if we stick with it or not. But he sure is cute!I was trying so hard to get his picture and he would not hold still. He kept jumping on me and licking me and then running all over the place and jumping and licking all over the kids.

He has got the funkiest tongue I have ever seen. Look at it! It is brown on the edges and pink in the middle. Crazy! I can also confirm that the yellow breeds do shed quite a bit more. The fur is flying around here even though he has short hair. We are officially the people you see going around places with dog hair on them. (eyes rolling)

He is a fun loving beast of a dog and we love him already. I was finally able to get in a shot with him holding still and then right after I took this he jumped on me and started licking me to death.

This dog is huge and heavy and he is scared to death of our stairs which makes for quite the work out trying to get him back down the stairs. Also dogs this big have massive amounts of pee--just in case you were wondering. :) Jordyn is also a completely different kid around this dog than she was with our last one. She loves him and for the most part isn't afraid of him she even said "we are keeping Champ forever!"

Beauty Does Have A Price!

This past week the kids had Monday and Tuesday off for parent/teacher conferences so the cousins had a sleep over. Morgan and Jordyn decided that they needed some make-up on and also decided that putting it on in her room over the carpet and her upholstered bench seemed like the most logical place for the application process. When they were finished beautifying themselves they pranced down the stairs to show off their skills. Wow! When I saw the mounds of sparkly and very powdery substance on their faces I immediately thought, "oh crap where were they when they applied this?"

Morgan has a wee bit more talent when it comes to the make-up application than little Jordy does and she also knows how to work a camera!

Here is Jordyn sporting the raccoon look. I think she pulls it off remarkably well, don't ya think? Notice the shimmering lips to go with her sparkling eyes and fancy headband. A true work of art. :)
Here is the damage I found when I went into Jordyn's room. They had tried to clean up the damage before I entered and so instead of being able to possibly vacuum up all the dust it was smeared in with water. Lovely! Luckily they didn't try this approach on the carpet and I was able to vacuum up what was there and then I got out the spot remover and worked on the bench. Fun, fun, fun!

My Mantra

So, as many people that live around me know....I was quite passionate about this election. It really had me stressed out with the amount of people so willing to go even further down the road to socialism. I was even more surprised to find out how many people don't even know what that word means...literally! It has also been completely horrifying that people have seem to forgotten the wise council given to us "by their fruits ye shall know them." Even more alarming still is this world of political correctness we find ourselves in that actually limits freedom of speech. Apparently anything that sounds negative towards a person of color is now a racist comment. huh????? Put all this together with a person that reads her Book of Mormon and has seen the cycle of wickedness and knows that the government will collapse in the last days has had me a bit concerned for what is to come. I found myself with a seriously crippling case of "no hope." This is a scary world we live in and it is only getting more scary by the second. Luckily for me a dose of hope arrived in the mail.....my November Ensign. I am only 8 talks in and it has already addressed my aching sole with literally every talk so far. I listened a bit when it was actually on TV, but not like it is hitting me know equipped with a highlighter and a hunger. I was deeply effected by Pres. Uchtdorf's talk on "The Infinite Power of Hope" and Elder Wirthlin's on "Come What May, and Love it". All of the talks I've read so far speak directly to the feelings of hopelessness and what is asked of each of us in these times. Does all of this reassurance mean that there isn't a battle of biblical proportions to win? Absolutely not. I feel even more full of the desire to be like Moroni " And it came to pass that he rent his coat; and he took a piece thereof, and wrote upon it--In memory of our God, our religion, and freedom, and our peace, our wives, and our children-and he fastened it upon the end of a pole. And he fastened on his headplate, and his breastplate, and his shields, and girded on his armor about his loins; and he took the pole, which had on the end thereof his rent coat, (and he called it the title of liberty) and he bowed himself to the earth, and he prayed mightily unto his God for the blessings of liberty to rest upon his brethren, so long as there should a band of Christians remain to possess the land"--found in Alma 46:12-13

So what is this Mantra that I speak of? It is simply this..."Too blessed, to stress!" I also love what Dave Ramsey says every time someone asks him how he is doing "better than I deserve." So, I am too blessed to stress about the outcome of where things are headed, but I also need to be shining up that armor at the same time "Wherefore, lift up your hears and rejoice, and gird up your loins, and take upon you my whole armor, that ye may be able to withstand the evil day, having done all, that ye may be able to stand. Stand, therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, having on the breastplate of righteousness, and your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace, which I have sent mine angels to commit unto you;" D&C 27:15-16

My Shiny New Friend

It finally happened, my iPod nano died. I have had my sleek black friend for a couple of years now and the battery finally gave out because of daily use. On Saturday night while on a date with my hubby I was able to con--ah hem--talk him into buying me my shiny new electric blue nano. I was so happy to see that it is finally back to a decent shape and has a huge screen along with all kinds of other cool stuff. So, I thought I would try my hand at poetry(or something like it) to express my deep feelings of love for my friend. DISCLAIMER...I am most certainly not a poet and my only real reference is Dr. Seuss AND I am really, really bored right now AND looking for a way to entertain myself. So, with that said, here goes.....

My Nano Friend

My compact electric blue companion
I take you wherever I go
You are small shiny and cool
And you can sense my every mood

I listen to you while in the shower
You're with me when scrubbing toilets
While folding laundry and vacuuming the floor

I crawl under the covers and hold you close when I am feeling blue
I strap you on to keep the beat while toning and tightening
I plug you in to dance and run and fly around the house

You can connect me with people feeling the same as I
With one click of your dial I can express my emotions
I can escape my day and travel to another place with you
You are always there for me ready and waiting

I am not pleased with the flow and it could use a lot more work. I'll have to think about it some more and see what I can come up with. Hopefully it's not completely lame. I figure that if you're not willing to be lame every once in a while (or more often if you're me) then life will get pretty boring. I am open to a complete redo of my first try at poetry. Any suggestions? I bet Jenny could do an amazing job with it! I need to take as many people to the lame side with me as I can. :) Anyway, I really do have a pretty serious addiction to my iPod and I listen to it every single day. I guess you could say that my real addiction is music, but without the iPod I would have to inflict this addiction onto the rest of my family and with those earphones in, the rest of the world can just fade away.

Happy Halloween!

Pure Evilness!

It all started when my sister-in-law and her kids came for a visit. Along with them came a big 'ole bag of peanut M&M's and all my self control flew out the window. A few days and another big 'ole bag later they were gone and so were the evil peanut M&M's. Finally, I was saved from myself and an extra 20 pounds of blubber that would go directly to my butt! I was good, I went to the store and came home without the goods, but then Nate gets home from hunting and what did he bring home with him? Yes, the mega huge Costco size bag of Peanut M&M's that were hardly touched because he has the self control of a--I don't know what---but he is not easily tempted by sweets. So, I was left with the duty of finishing off this gynormous bag of evilness. My self control is so weak that I eat until I want to vomit. Pathetic, I know. Even worse is that we are now in the full swing of Halloween candy time and I am fearful that I will be the size of a hippo by the time we make it through Christmas. Someone save me from myself! BTW while I have been typing this I was eating a full size Heath bar that Jordyn got from the trunk-or-treat last night and washing it down with a tasty fountain drink ( I already downed several handfulls of the evil peanut M&M's already today). I tell you there is no hope for me, no hope!

p.s. I voted already, have you?

What's Next?

I think I am having a mid-life crisis. Can you actually be having one if you think you are having one? :) This is not your typical sports car, wanna test the waters to see if anyone would date you, wish you had no kids kinda mid-life crisis. This is a -what do I do with myself now- identity kind of crisis. Luckily I have a great friend that psychoanalyzed me in about 2 seconds when I started telling her some of my symptoms. So, here's the long and short of it. After I had our 4th child I was 80-90 percent sure that I didn't want to ever be pregnant or raise another child after that---well, wouldn't you know I have been having these nagging feelings lately (must have been something I ate) that maybe I wasn't done. I know! You don't even have to say it---totally loco kookoo bananas for brains! I have been trying to figure out what I am going to do next year when Jordyn is at kindergarten all day long. I have been running through all the possibilities and just haven't come up with anything yet. Even this year she is in half day preschool 4 days a week and I am feeling like a total looser bum that has nothing better to do than shop, clean and of course blog. So, here is her 2 second diagnosis........ I am a project girl ( I just bought paint for the kitchen today) I spent the last year building a house and now I don't have anything to do. My entire identity has been in the having babies stage of life and now that stage is over so I am reverting back to the only thing I know--having babies. What do you think, is she right? I had a dream last night that I decided to go to culinary school because I couldn't think of anything else to do. There are just so many possibilities how do you pick one. I am hoping that inspiration will just hit me in the head or I will start down a natural path that leads me to what I'm supposed to do next. Sitting at home without babies to care for isn't turning out for me. I have to have something to do, a project, anything. My problem is that I get super lazy without structure and I feel myself turning into a lumpy frump. The totally twisted thing is that when I finally find somethig to do I will wish I was "just" a stay at home Mom again! :( Maybe i'm just totally full on crazy, which is always a possibility! :)

Cheaper by the Baker's Dozen?

I forgot to add this picture to the slide show, but it probably deserves it's own post anyway. I was feeding all of these kids plus their parent(s) every night for 4 nights with lots of help. My dishwasher was basically running non-stop and I can't even tell you how many times the floor got swept along with how many bags of trash got taken out--especially because my water was deemed undrinkable so everyone was downing the water bottles which make quite a bit of trash. I also realized that I failed to mention that my husband is in Colorado for 2 weeks hunting deer and elk with his business partner and his family. So I braved entertaining everyone by myself and Angie braved driving here all by herself so we made the perfect husband less pair. We also decided that having multiple wives does have its pluses. :)
I hate the day everyone leaves. It gets too quiet and I always realize that I would much rather be feeding all these kids and listening to them run around than to have them all gone. When it comes right down to it, this is what it is all about. There really isn't anything else. So make the most of it, make some killer memories and enjoy the heck out of each other!

Cousins!

We just had a great time playing with cousins for 4 days. We got to swim, eat, hang out, play games and watch movies together. My boys were so excited to finally have some boys to play with. The girls far out number the boys in this family so boy time is crucial to the fairness factor. I had another person to contend with for the affection of little baby Caden who seems to be the star of the show. I of course loved having my nieces and my sister-in-law here to hang out with and to cook for. A little known secret is that I absolutely love cooking, but have no willing audience in my immediate family of extremely picky eaters so whenever I get the chance I go all out. This time I spent all day on knock off Cafe Rio food and it was divine! Luckily the weather warmed up so that the kids could swim the entire time. We also had fun adventures in mouse trapping, taking our dog back to the humane society, spider watching, and a birthday party for Alex (who turned 13). We also stayed up late at night laughing at each others dorkiness and Angies pure lack of information retention when it comes to learning a new game. :) Angie and the kids also got to have Rick take them to the control tower to watch planes land and take off and see what goes on in there. As always we had way too much fun which makes it all the harder to say goodbye. We hope they come back soon!

Balloons

We had another enjoyable year at the balloon fiesta. This year we had another tragedy right near our house where a man died and another was seriously injured. The balloon went down after it passed over our house and it was a very sad day indeed. Luckily we had already been to the balloon fiesta so we got to enjoy it without the sadness of the accident looming over us. It was a gorgeous and warm day and we got sweet parking this year, or so we thought. It took us forever to get out of the parking lot. When I say forever I mean an hour! We did get to enjoy the firework show from our car along with someones car alarm that kept going off every time there was an earth shattering boom. Aaron and I fought over little baby Caden the entire time and luckily for me the large quantities of spit up landed on him instead of me, so it all worked out. Jordyn ended up being a pickle by the end of the night so I threw her in Cadens stroller. It was pretty comical and we got some real fine entertainment from a teenage couple that was trying to suck each others faces off and then moved to lying on the ground so people had to step over them while they were trying to suck each others faces off. Nathan was so entertained that he took their picture to wake them up out of their private universe. It was pretty funny.

A Sad, Sad Day

We recently brought home what we thought was the cutest chocolate lab with the most beautiful green eyes. We soon discovered that our sweet little Cody wasn't as sweet as a lab is supposed to be. Despite all of my best efforts to train him to not bite people and be aggressive when he got in trouble it just wasn't working. We had also noticed that is once flat ears were now standing up on his head, also not a trait of a lab. One night it all came to a head and I got on line to see if all the people that stopped to tell me how beautiful our dog was and to ask if we had a pitbull were right. Low and behold a picture of our dog came up under pitbull terrier. The picture of the yellow dog is from the Internet. Everything from the short nose, the ears, the tail, the eyes, the broader shoulders and the white patch were our dog. How could this have happened to us. After many tears and much heartache we decided that we could just not afford the liability of owning a very stubborn and hard to train pitbull that could snap and bite someones face off at any moment. This was a pretty big mistake on the part of the humane society if you ask me and they got very defensive and said we couldn't prove anything without a DNA test. Whatever! The picture speaks for itself.

So the kids said their final goodbyes and wanted pictures taken with Cody so we could remember him always. I had nightmares for days and I kept tearing up just thinking about what might become of him. He really was a sweet dog. He rarely barked. He didn't run to the door every time someone came. He was super friendly. He could be out front without a leash on. The problem was he was just getting worse with each day that passed with his biting and he really hated Ethan and would attack him even when he was unprovoked. My niece that is super good with animals didn't want to believe me, but while she was here visiting she tried her dog whisperer techniques on him and couldn't believe how defiant he was and non responsive to training. While we had him he did learn to sit and was working on staying and was sort of good with potty training but once he decided he wanted to bite someone there was absolutely no stopping him.

Lesson learned....... We will have to get an older lab from a lab rescue shelter or get a puppy from a breeder so that we are certain of the dog we are getting. We wanted a lab because of their temperament around kids and that they love to hunt and swim which is the kind of family we are. We are devastated and have to talk ourselves out of going to the shelter to pick him back up daily. We love you Cody and we will never forget you!

Kermit

This last Friday both schools that the kids go to had "Balloons Aloft" bright and early in the morning. The older kids' school was starting theirs at 6 am with donuts and hot chocolate for sale and Jordyn's was starting at 7 am with breakfast burritos, donuts and hot chocolate for sale. Who do you think won even though it was 3-1? Jordyn has all the other kids wrapped around her little finger! She also just had to go and see the froggie. All she could talk about was the froggie at her school. The way she was talking we thought it was going to be a frog shaped balloon and the other kids only cared about donuts so they all agreed that we could go to Jordyn's school. I was very happy because I got an extra hour to sleep and a breakfast burrito. ( i don't know how I ever lived before breakfast burritos)


So, we get to the school to discover that it is not a frog shaped balloon but a stuffed Kermit the frog toy that gets to take a ride in the balloon--this is what all the fuss was about? As you can see, there was no disappointment from Jordyn. She got to see froggie and get her picture with him. This time of year reminds me how much I love living here. Where else in the world has a balloon day at the school (for a fundraiser) where we can go hang out and watch a balloon fill up and take off into the air and then on the drive home see the crisp blue sky filled with colorful balloons. Life is good!

Bye-Bye Kermit. I have a close up of Kermit in the basket but didn't want to wait for another batch of pictures to load. :) You'll just have to take my word for it. All the way home the kids were trying to keep track of Kermit flying through the air. Balloon Fiesta started this Saturday and we have been watching balloons fill the sky in the morning and we have a perfect view from our master balcony for the fireworks every night. The weather got pretty bad yesterday with a ton of rain that cancelled the events but hopefully the weather will clear up and the events can start up again. We are keeping our fingers crossed for good weather Thursday night for the special shapes glowdeo. If you are looking for something to add to your list of things you must do, this is it. You haven't lived until you have been to a balloon fiesta!

The Story

I have been meaning to do a blog about this song called "The Story" by Brandi Carlile for a long time now, but just haven't gotten around to it. I figured that with the recent things that have been on my mind lately now was the perfect time for it. I know it has been awhile since my last blog about a song and maybe some thought I was finally becoming a normal person, but lo, fear not for I am still not normal. :)

The Story
All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am

But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true, I was made for you

I climbed across the mountaintops
Travel across the ocean blue
I cross over lines and I broke all the rules
And baby I broke them all for you

Oh because even when I was flat broke
You made me feel like a million bucks
You do, I was made for you

You see the smile that's on my mouth
It's hiding the words that won't come out
All of the friend who think that I'm blessed
They don't know that my head is a mess

No they don't know who I really am
And they don't know what I've been through
Like you do, and I was made for you

Verse 1

Oh, Verse 2
Oh yea, and it's true, I was made for you

Ok, so I love this song and every time I hear it I think of my sweet Nate. Truly no one knows me like he does. It is also a song like this that remind me that there is such a history between Nate and I that should be cherished. This life can be full of some pretty choppy waters with some calm waters thrown in there to keep us sane. We have known each other since High School, which was forever ago. We've made it through my crazy parents, waiting a year to be married in the temple, undergrad, med school where I worked to support us while he studied and went to school full time. We have been dirt poor, which by the way, are some of my favorite memories when I look back on our 1st few years together. We've survived Nate's total cheapness--- well, I have. We've survived the stress and chaos of residency and an externship that lead us to live with his parents and 3 sisters for a year. We've been through heartache trying to have a family of our own with a miscarriage, an ectopic pregnancy which lead to emergency surgery and then being pregnant with twins and losing one of them. We have also had the trials of starting a practice, owning an airplane which lead to a major lawsuit........ This list could get really long and boring but what I can say is that in each of those times mentioned and the countless unmentioned there were equally good and happy times that go with each one of those. We have 4 wonderful children, we made it through school, we can afford to eat now, things are great with the practice right now etc...... And we are living the life that we drempt up together. We have stuck by each other and pulled each other through some hard times and there is real strength and value in that.

I truly feel like there is no one on this earth better suited to be my companion. We were made for each other and compliment each other in almost every way. Does this mean that he doesn't get on my nerves----hardly! :) But, at the end of the day he's the one that makes it all worth it. My someone to share all my secrets and dreams with and someone who knows exactly who I am and still loves me --lines on my face and all.

Doin' The Hard Stuff

My week took a turn for the sorrowful on Tuesday evening when I received a call from my former yw partner about one of our girls. It seems that there was a fight between Mom and Dad about something and Mom had decided to leave the house with the kids. There are 6 children and as to which of them were home I'm unaware because 3 are teenagers and 3 are fairly young. I do know that my yw was home and she is 15. Anyway, the Dad decided to shoot and kill himself and was successful. It is unclear if the kids were outside or inside the home when this happened or what they saw and heard and I'm not about to ask. This news has been devastating to me because this family was struggling with activity and the kids dropping out of school and obviously problems in the home with the parents. Dad apparently has been struggling with depression on and off for some time now and finally hit the end. It took me until Wed night to get up the courage to text the yw. I know how impersonal that sounds, but this girl on a good day rarely talks much and the easiest and most effective way of communication has been through text. I basically asked if I could come and meet her to say good bye because they had immediately moved out and into a hotel and are in the process of packing up the house to move to AZ with relatives on Friday. So, all day today (and since I found out) I haven't been able to stop thinking about it and what I could get her and what I would possibly say. I finally decided on a really nice journal so she could have an outlet for her feelings and a way to look back and see that she slowly started getting over something so completely tragic and also some pictures of Christ to help remind her where her comfort can come from and a couple of fun things for the road. I said several prayers and wrote what I hope was a very nice note basically letting her know that someone was thinking about her and that she would be very missed and then I bore my testimony to her of the Savior. Then it was time to face her and say good bye. Her Mom had given me the wrong room number, but luckily Grandma and the younger kids were playing in the pool and I was able to get the correct room number and make my delivery. It was short and simple and ended with an embrace. Driving home a flood of questions and thoughts filled my mind. The image of the little ones playing in the pool without what seemed a care in the world. Did they fully understand that Daddy wasn't coming home and that their world was being turned upside down? When someone dies and you move out of your home that quickly do you pack up all of that persons belongings and haul them off to the good will, divvy them up between family members or pack them in a box and take them with you to be stored in a corner of a garage and a corner of your heart? What were the final words said? Is the Mom or the kids suffering from guilt over what they might have said? I just can't even fathom the range of emotions and the surreal nature of the entire situation. It has me in a funk that I can't get out of and I just keep looking around and wondering how the world keeps moving. How do we just keep going with all the mundane things of the world when people are truly suffering. I need reminders like this so that I can pull myself out of my own world enough to be able to mourn with those who mourn and weep with those who weep. I was looking at many pictures of the Savior today trying to find just the perfect one. While I was looking again at the picture where Christ is on a rock in a river with one child on his arm with the other extended out to lift another child up to safety it made me think about not only the Savior there to help lift us up, but we should be extending our hands out to those around us to lift each other not drag each other down. We are all in this existence together and we are all trying to get to the same place and we all struggle and we all need help at some point. The picture that I went with for the yw was a picture that I had never seen before, or never paid attention too. It is a black and white sketch by David Bowman titled "My Child." There is something about that picture that makes it hard to look away. The savior has about an 8 year old girl against his chest with is arm around her while kissing the top of her head. This picture perfectly captures the way I feel when I ponder the love the Savior has for me, Heather, and the love he has for this yw. The expression on the girls face also looks as if she feels completely safe and loved. What a blessing it is to know that there is a plan for each and every one of us even if it seems like the plan sucks. How comforting it is to know that he know each and every one of us, even though we don't deserve it, individually and loves us more than we can possibly comprehend. The true test is in what we do with the hand that was dealt us and if we can find a way to rise above. I pray that this is the kind of experience for this yw that strengthens her instead of destroying her or anyone else in the family.

The Rest.........

My very good friend, Jolene, has been asking when I am going to put pictures of the house up on my blog to which my reply has been;"when I get things put away and clean." Well, this is taking a while and so I just made myself go around the house and snap some pictures and didn't allow myself to move anything to make it look nice. One of these days I am going to try and add a slide show to a post again. It would be much more efficient and attractive to just have a slide show instead of a long string of pictures, oh well. I barely have time to do posts at all let alone figure something like that out. :)

So, here are some pictures. There is a picture of the living room and then the "theater" room. The "theater" room is too small to be considered a theater so we are spinning it and calling it a media room. We didn't know what to do with our new super comfy sectional so we decided to split it up and put it in the room. It actually works pretty well.




Then we have the dining room and the finished stairway in case anyone was curious how it turned out after my "tears on my banister" post.


Lastly we have a picture of the family room and a couple of pictures of the kitchen. You can see our dog crate in the 2nd picture. We haven't figured out where we want Cody to sleep yet, so he is just kinda in the middle of the walk way between the family room and kitchen for now. It is nice and close to the backyard for easy pee access for him so it works for now. I have some more pictures, but it was looking like too many for a post so I just went with a couple. If you want to get a true sense of what the house is like, you'll just have to come visit me and see for yourself! :)

Lighter

This Saturday I had finally had enough of my hair. It was the longest it has been in years and I was really trying hard to keep it long for my sweet husband who loves me with long hair. I think I did due diligence for keeping it for over a year plus all the growing out time. Every time I went swimming I lost half of my hair because it was just a huge rats nest. My hair is quite deceiving because it is fine, but I literally have a ton of it. This made blowing it out to straighten it take forever!!!!! So, I was getting increasingly more and more lazy and just wearing it curly. I'm not a big fan of my hair curly. I don't know what the deal is, I just don't like it much. So, I went in and told the girl to take it all off. AAAAHHHHHH, what a relief. I instantly felt lighter and more free. The only thing I will miss is my 2nd day no wash day and pulling it up into a pony tail, but I have enough for piggy tails anyway so it will be fine, maybe? I have left it down on the 2nd day and it didn't bug too bad.

Bless This Mess

Moving in to our new home has been quite the process. It feels like it is taking forever especially since I decided to take a break from the house. I have been playing outside with our new dog, jumping on the trampoline with my daughter, swimming and baking cookies instead. I would say that is a much better use of my time than finishing up the house. Anyway, I got pretty far in the process before I quit. It is now down to the junk that really has no good home and I don't feel like dealing with it just yet. I have another party at my house on Friday so I will most likely finish up by then. In the mean time I thought that I could help someone out there feel good about their mess by showing mine. The pictures are of the exercise/guest room, the office, the loft, the boys room and Jordyns room. Since this picture the boxes are out of the office and their contents are spread out all over the floor with the hopes of finding a home for all the crap. I cannot even tell you how much crap I threw away before we moved and then again when I started opening up boxes here. We also got rid of a lot of furniture this time too that I was holding onto just in case I needed it. Just looking at these pictures overwhelms me. :( I think I will go and finish off the pan of cookies ( I have had 6 already!)---I'll never get down another size anyway so I may as well enjoy it! :)

Drivin' with the top down

This is the view from our hotel room in sunny San Diego, California. Nathan had reserved a compact car over the Internet and true to form ended up with a convertible once we arrived. I can't complain because I do enjoy having the top down and it also forces me to not spend too much time on my hair because it will get wrecked anyway so it adds to the relaxation factor. We caught a 6:30 am flight to Ca and arrived around 8 am. We thought it would be fun to get some breakfast, but we got some bad advice to go and try the GasLamp district which is an evening spot for sure with nothing but Starbucks for breakfast. From my earlier post I explained how I was on the verge of a mental breakdown and not feelin the whole walking aimlessly trying to find food so we thought we would head to the hotel and beg them to let us check in. By then it was 10 am and the heavens opened at they let us check in. Yea! I really didn't waist much time by crawling immediately into bed and falling asleep until lunch to which I woke up long enough to get some food and went back to the hotel and slept until dinner. When we got back I really wanted to watch Maid of Honor and wouldn't ya know it--I fell asleep. Truth be told I slept my vacation away and only watched half of Maid of Honor, Ironman and Zohan. I got out enough to hit some must do things and enjoy the salty fresh air but then back to sleep I went. We also ate some really good mexican food in old town 2 of the nights (we forgot how good the mexican food in Ca is!) I forgot to mention that I was going on week 2 of being sick while trying to move in and solve building issues so I just crashed--certainly not Nate's idea of a romantic getaway.
The weather was just phenomenal and we loved riding around with the top down. It just really felt good with the salty fresh air hitting our faces with all the pretty landscape and cool architecture to look at-it doesn't look anything like NM that's for sure!
I was completely relaxed and content.
I had my very first In -N- Out Burger experience and I went for the special sauce and didn't regret it. I am not a fan of pickles on a burger, but it was very tasty and I enjoyed every last bite!
Nathan's dream came true by spending 3 hours aboard the USS Midway and looking at all the different airplanes yadda yadda yadda.......seriously though it was very touching to be on a ship where people fought and lost lives and to see their living and working conditions was awe inspiring. It was pretty cool I have to admit even if it was really long. We also got to go kayaking and snorkeling, but I have to say that once you have snorkeled in Hawaii it is ruined for you in a place like San Diego where there is a ton of kelp and cloudy water with a couple of over sized gold fish swimming around. We kayaked for 3 miles in the ocean and that was a lot of fun. It had also been a long time since I had been around that many homeless people and it was pretty heartbreaking. Everywhere we went they were around and the park at Midway was full because they were all making up camp for the night when we were leaving.

Even though we didn't do a whole lot this time, it was one of my best and favorite vacations because I truly got to stop and rest and do some fun things too. It was the best. Thanks Nate.