Do It

I was moving during April conference this year and it just about killed me. I always sit down and listen to and soak up all the sessions of conference live. With technology it is easy to be able to go back and read them fairly quickly on the app, but I like to watch them first and then go back and read them. It's just my quirky method, which if I'm not careful can get me tripped up in small things because there's a danger of not going back and watching them and therefore never reading them either. Anyway, we had no internet for 2 weeks at the new house, so the farther it got away from the actual event, the harder it was to make the time to watch. I was in the danger zone, but I hate failing so it got me back on track. I am just now on Elder Whitney Clayton in the Sunday Morning session, and I am trying to finish up before we go on our cruise on Saturday.

Well, this morning it was time for Elder Clayton's talk 'Whatsoever He Saith unto You, Do It.' Imagine my delight as it was something that I had just been thinking about and taken the time to write down last night. Of course I was referring to another talk in another year's conference about trusting in the Lord and doing whatever he says, but this talk this morning....It speaks to something I discovered for myself in 2013/2014. What did Elder Clayton say? He was talking about Mary and Adam. What specifically about Adam? His offering sacrifices for many days when an angel came to him and asked him why he was offering sacrifices. It's my absolute favorite thing about Adam. He gave us a pattern for living our lives and how our relationship to God should look. Trust and faith no matter what. No matter if you understand or not, just do it!

It was 2013/2014 and I was having a family history experience. My journey really started a year or 2 before that, but anyway. We had been told that if you were only just going to the temple without taking your own family names you were only receiving half the blessings. Well, I took that a little hard because I thought I was pretty awesome for attending the temple as much as I had been. I also knew that we are all God's children, so what did it matter if I did my own ancestors or not. We are all related, right? I searched and search and asked and asked to understand this principle better. I felt like I intellectually knew, but still just didn't understand. No answer was good enough. However, I kept moving forward on the promises. I also knew from president Hinkley (I think Kimball may have been the first to talk about it and give us the 'do it' phrase) that you can't gain a testimony of anything if you don't first do it. So, I kept moving forward acting upon this principle. Still never fully understanding the why.

It wasn't until I was sitting in an endowment session (months and months later) with my first family name that all of a sudden it hit me. I had just read scripture (that I had a million times before) in Doctrine and Covenants, and then I thought of Adam. All of the sudden understanding entered my heart and a download of information came to me. I've talked about this 'download' before. It is hard to explain because it's not like I can sit down and write any of the information down. It is a language of the heart and an enlightening of the mind that cannot be translated. The only thing I was able to articulate was that it had to do with stewardship. It's funny that 1 word given at exactly the right moment, held the key to unlock the door of understanding in my mind. Now suddenly all the intellectual knowledge I had before made sense to my heart. I knew why. All the same words were there from the beginning, but now I understood them. That is precisely why we need the spirit. Without it, words are just words, no matter how brilliantly strung together.

So, now here we have Elder Clayton explaining this very process.

"God asks us to bear with Him—to trust Him and to follow Him. He pleads with us to “dispute not because ye see not.” He cautions us that we shouldn’t expect easy answers or quick fixes from heaven. Things work out when we stand firm during the “trial of [our] faith,” however hard that test may be to endure or slow the answer may be in coming. I am not speaking of “blind obedience” but of thoughtful confidence in the perfect love and the perfect timing of the Lord.

The trial of our faith will always involve staying true to simple, daily practices of faith. Then, and only then, does He promise that we will receive the divine response for which we long. Only once we have proven our willingness to do what He asks without demanding to know the whens, the whys, and the hows do we “reap the rewards of [our] faith, and [our] diligence, and patience, and long-suffering.” Real obedience accepts God’s commandments unconditionally and in advance.

Every day, consciously or otherwise, we all choose “whom [we] will serve.” We demonstrate our determination to serve the Lord by faithfully engaging in daily acts of devotion. The Lord promises to direct our paths, but for Him to do that, we have to walk, trusting that He knows the way because He is “the way.” We must fill our own waterpots up to the brim. When we trust and follow Him, our lives, like water to wine, are transformed. We become something more and better than we ever otherwise could be. Trust in the Lord, and “whatsoever he saith unto you, do it.” In the name of Jesus Christ, amen."

Here we have an exact explanation of the process I went through years ago. Therefore, it can only mean that it is a true principle. One that works for everyone. One that lets you know the pattern of God, so that you can follow it. It's spiritual proof of The Plan of Salvation. It is another witness. It's hard to not have a testimony when you have experienced for yourself the same pattern. 

Another part of the talk came at the beginning, and it reminded me of my question I had asked my husband. Would anyone know how I got to where I am. Would people see a transformation in me, and want that for themselves, or am I ruining the gospel for people. I know, I'm a little crazy, but these are the things I worry about. No one wants to find that all there hard work yielded no good fruit. I don't know what I'm expecting to look like as a devoted disciple, but I worry that I won't be an effective missionary because all I can say is that the experience will be hard and most days it will suck because it's hard. Anyway, I like what he said about the Bishop trying to counsel people:

"His counsel to ward members very often included getting back to simple practices of faith, such as studying the Book of Mormon—as we were counseled by President Thomas S. Monson to do—paying tithing, and serving in the Church with devotion. Frequently, however, their response to him was one of skepticism: “I don’t agree with you, Bishop. We all know those are good things to do. We talk about those things all the time in the Church. But I’m not sure you’re understanding me. What does doing any of those things have to do with the issues I’m facing?”

It’s a fair question. Over time, that young bishop and I have observed that those who are deliberate about doing the “small and simple things”—obeying in seemingly little ways—are blessed with faith and strength that go far beyond the actual acts of obedience themselves and, in fact, may seem totally unrelated to them. It may seem hard to draw a connection between the basic daily acts of obedience and solutions to the big, complicated problems we face. But they are related. In my experience, getting the little daily habits of faith right is the single best way to fortify ourselves against the troubles of life, whatever they may be. Small acts of faith, even when they seem insignificant or entirely disconnected from the specific problems that vex us, bless us in all we do."

Most of the time our efforts to be diligent in the gospel can look totally unrelated to who we are. After all, there are lots of good people in the world, right? I heard something yesterday on my Christian radio station. With the Lord our worst days are filled with more peace and strength to overcome than someone without the gospel on their best days. That is an excellent way to put it. 

Maybe you feel like there isn't a God. Maybe you feel like your efforts didn't help you and so you gave up or want to give up. Maybe you feel like you don't need God to be good. Maybe the road seems too long. There is another song I am loving right now called Wasteland. My efforts here today were to say, yes it's hard. Yes we are living in a wasteland (Babylon), but there's a crack in the door filled with light. Hopefully my words were some light in the darkness today because I want nothing more in this life than to reflect the light of Christ in all I do and say and let my life be the proof of that. 

I'm the first one in line to die
When the cavalry comes
Yeah it feels like the great divide
Has already come
Yeah I'm wasting my way through days
Losing youth along the way

Oh if God is on my side
Oh if God is on my side
Oh if God is on my side
Who can be against me

There was a greatness I felt for awhile
But somehow it changed
Some kind of blindness I used to protect me
From all of my stains
Yeah I wish this was vertigo
It just feels like I'm falling slow

Oh if God is on my side
Then who can be against me

Yeah in this wasteland where I'm livin'
There is a crack in the door filled with light
And it's all that I need to get by
Yeah in this wasteland where I'm livin'
There is a crack in the door filled with light
And it's all that I need to shine

All of these people I meet
It seems like they're fine
Yeah in some ways I hope that they're not
And their hearts are like mine
Yeah it's wrong when it seems like work
To belong all I feel is hurt

Oh if God is on my side
Yeah if God is on my side
Oh if God is on my side
Who can be against me

Yeah in this wasteland where I'm livin'
There is a crack in the door filled with light
And it's all that I need to get by
Yeah in this wasteland where I'm livin'
There is a crack in the door filled with light
And it's all that I need to shine

Oh if God is on my side
Yeah if God is on my side
Oh if God is on my side
Who can be against me

Who Needs You?

I'm finally getting back around to blogging about my talk. I recently looked up a talk that my oldest had given. I discovered that I talked about feedback she received-which I had completely forgotten about. When I am consistently writing here, there is some valuable stuff! I need to do better. 

I was not feeling all that great about my talk before I gave it. It all came together fairly easily once I started the process, but I felt like it was lack luster and void of passion. One of the pitfalls of reading a ton is knowing the standard that I strive to meet. My husband thought I was crazy and offered to give my talk. Usually I go into a talk feeling a little better than I did. I just knew it was missing something, but didn't know what. I have a tendency to talk too much so I try to have my talk completely written out to keep me reigned in. It's also how I know what I am talking about backward and forward. Another source of anxiety was that I knew no one. I didn't know what anyone was dealing with, and so I had to rely completely on inspiration. My impression was that everyone had it all figured out because the number of families with 7 plus kids outweigh the number with less than that. Large families are contagious in our new ward. I wasn't sure if anyone was struggling or if I was going to look like I was off my rocker. I was also feeling the pressure of giving a first impression of myself. A talk can really put yourself out there for people to asses who you are and what you're about. It's a lot of pressure. 

It came time to give that talk and it was right after the primary kids sang a song. I had to wait for the little ones to make it back to their seats. It's hard to judge how to handle that. I made my way to the pulpit and then had to stand there for a few more seconds waiting for the noise to die down a bit. Now something about me is that I hate awkwardness. Who doesn't?! I'm no professional speaker, and standing there staring at everyone without actually starting is awkward, but I did it. It was actually nice to be able to center myself, calm down, do some last minute pleading for the spirit, and begin. 

As far as what I actually said, not entirely sure. Here's what I do know. I started my talk with acknowledging that some find Mother's Day very painful. That I made mistakes, wasn't perfect and didn't know it all. I spoke briefly of some of my pain, and then said that I hoped we could find some strength and be uplifted together through the words of the prophets and scriptures. I know I gave all my quotes, but not sure how much else of the written portion I gave. I kept having things come to my mind. Usually when that happens I feel like I need to speak fast enough to keep up with my brain. However this time. The information came to me in a way that the timing was perfect and I was able to keep a nice pace while not forgetting where I was at or where I was going. I know I added talking about following inspiration. No matter how crazy, how much of a mess or disaster it looks etc...just trust and follow like the conference talk which I couldn't remember then and I can't remember now where the seventy was talking about all the different things people pray for to get help. Like not being grumpy and the answer was to clean their room- or something like that. I know I talked about love and how everyones answers will be different so don't compare. I also decided to talk about Uchdtorf's talk about The Savior will be the one to lift us on His shoulders and carry us home.  I know I said other things that weren't in my talk that I can't remember. Mainly my point was that we all struggle, we all hurt, but who saves and who heals, and where can we turn for peace. I know I also drove home the point of not having a testimony of outcomes because when things don't work the way we think they should, it can destroy us. 

Well, as true to myself. I simply cannot figure out how to speak in under 20 minutes. I had my written talk down to 13 min before introduction (which I only do the first time I speak in a new ward- I didn't even say any goodbyes in my exit talk from our last ward.) I'm a get down to business kinda person I guess. Luckily Nate took care of the goodbyes last time, and I briefly introduced us this time. 

Nate was the closing speaker and the musical numbers took a lot of time because the youth sang after me. He didn't get to give his written talk, but he did an awesome job. I always love his talks and think he does a better job than me. He has never read a talk. He always writes them, but only uses the for a guide. For closing the Bishop talked about that he knew I understood being a stripling warrior mother because I drove my kids 4 hours everyday for school most of the year. I was a little shocked and embarrassed because I'm a hider. A fly under the radar kinda girl. Nate turned to me and said 'haha you can't hide now. People now know how awesome you are!' Is he just the greatest gift to me, or what. I'm telling you I would have zero self esteem if it weren't for him and he would tell you that isn't true.

 After Sacrament meeting was over, we spoke to the bishop a little and then I was planning to quietly slip out the side door, but we didn't get far. I was completely humbled at the crowd that had gathered to tell me how much my talk touched them. People with tears in their eyes who wanted to tell me their story and cry with me. A husband that told me that he wished that his wife were there, but that she was at home because coming on Mother's day to church was too painful, and how he was going to tell her that my talk was for her. One woman crying told me that before I even opened my mouth she felt the spirit, and I should write a book. I got asked for my notes for another sister who was sitting next to another woman during the meeting who was struggling and who she visit teaches. She was asking on behalf of the sister for my notes because she thought that reading my quotes again would help get her through. I guess more people experience pain on Mother's day than we think do. I think they were relieved that someone spoke about that instead of someone saying things that felt like bragging about their wonderful mother or family that was happy and perfect and shouldn't everyone have that. I guess i've just been the person who has gone home from church crying because everyone else was perfect except for me, and I did not want that at all for anyone listening to me. 

It's hard for me to write those things about people's responses or say anything about myself that would be considered prideful. I don't say anything to promote myself. I would much rather hide and honestly the pressure to be amazing is way high now because everyone knows me. Disappointing people stinks. I put this here because the promises are true. The spirit backs you up. When you open your mouth it shall be filled. When you diligently seek "my word before you declare it' there is more power. The Lord can take me and use me to speak to the hearts of His children. I'm nothing special, but the Lord is and His Spirit makes it possible for me to be part of his work. The other notable thing was that the woman who said she knew before I opened my mouth. That was the Lord telling me something very specific. I had just been talking with Nate the day before about how I didn't feel like someone could just look at my life and say- yep. She's got a relationship with the Savior and I want that too. I felt like there was nothing about me to help anyone want to choose God. No evidence to point at that would make someone think that my life was proof. 

I have never been popular. I have never done anything that people wanted to follow just because I did  it. Just doesn't happen like that. Example. My temple group. It was pretty much me for years. Someone else decides to start a group up and theirs is very well attended. It's just how I roll. the Lord is trying to drive it into my head that it's all about the 1. And only the 1. And sometimes that 1 is myself.

What is funny is that I finally got a calling on Sunday. After the counselor in the Bishopric talked with me about my talk and the school and told me of a similar experience they had moving out for the school, it was time to extend the calling. He laughed and got uncomfortable and then started with 'you know what the most important calling in the church is?' Uh oh. 'you're going to call me to the nursery aren't you?' We laughed, and then he explained that sometimes its hard not to feel like you have to apologize before extending a calling. Like it's not good enough. Luckily for him he was talking to the it's all about the 1 girl. I know plenty of people that wrap their self worth and their spiritual self worth based upon their callings. Even people who say they know better, still fall victim to caring about it. Just because you get a 'prestigious calling' doesn't mean you're awesome  I've seen plenty if crappy people get those callings throughout the years. Times when you really question the Lord and wonder if he is willing to risk everyone's testimony so 1 person can learn something. So to me, it's no indication of spiritual worth. I have been blessed to know why I was in several of my callings. Just a quiet moment where I knew it was for a specific person or purpose. And wherever those people or that purpose is, is where the Lord needs me/you. Because I have learned one thing very well; the Lord will go to great lengths for 1 person. So, because it wasn't to a presidency -which I'm guessing my talk and previous callings would make people worry that I was being under utilized by the calling I got, but luckily I know better, and I'm excited to serve where I was called ( I haven't been sustained yet, so I'll say what it is later.)  The bottom line is that I'm going to pray about who needs me and then figure out how I'm supposed to help and support. I also just went visiting teaching and i can already see the divine matching. Quirky things that I have in common with the women I visit and my partner. Hopefully that translates into meaningful relationships where we can support and lift each other and be meaningful people in each others lives instead of a checkmark on a report. 

My favorite song right now is "He knows my Name' and I completely relate. 

Spent today in a conversation
In the mirror face to face with
somebody less than perfect
I wouldn't choose me first if
I was looking for a champion
In fact I'd understand if
You picked everyone before me
But that's just not my story
True to who You are
You saw my heart
and made
Something out of nothing

[Chorus:]
I don't need my name in lights
I'm famous in my Father's eyes
Make no mistake
He knows my name
I'm not living for applause
I'm already so adored
It's all His stage
He knows my name oh, oh,
He knows my name oh, oh

I'm not meant to just stay quiet
I'm meant to be a lion
I'll roar beyond a song
With every moment that I've got
True to who You are
You saw my heart
and made
Something out of nothing

[Chorus]

He calls me chosen, free forgiven, wanted, child of the King,
His forever, held in treasure...
I am loved

I don't need my name in lights...
I'm famous in my Father's eyes...

[Chorus]

Here's the talk Jordyn gave. She also added in me always finding the spiritual link to all movies we watch together and how after Dr Strange I was talking about it being kinda like the war between Christ and Lucifer. She talked about how it was super annoying that I do that. Btw, since I mentioned it. Just saw King Arther. All I'll say is: Tower of Babel. Mountain of the Lord. Epic analogy that I am using a ton right now. Because that climb up to the mountain of the Lord is a tough one and you've got to get beaten down and stripped of your pride to arrive at who you were created to be, and be mentally strong enough to wield the power of the sword. Lots more analogies, but maybe another time. 

Without further ado Jordyn's talk:

"I guess that saying my dog ate my talk won’t for this situation.Good morning brothers and sisters today I was asked to speak on Mothers and Strengthening families, so i'm going to combined that and talk about how mothers strengthen the family. All daughters of our heavenly father have a very important role on this earth and one of those is being a mother. James E. Faust wrote a talk called “ What It means to Be a Daughter of God,” in his talk he speaks about some of the words in a Hymn written by Emily H. Woodmansee which are Quote

The errand of angels is given to women ; And this is a gift that, as sisters, we claim: To do whatsoever is gentle and human,

To cheer and to Bless in humanity’s name.

End quote, of course we don’t know how to play this role while we are young, so we can go to young women’s and be taught about how to act and use our role but we can also ask our mothers. Our mother’s are here to help us become this role because they have been taught by their mothers and leaders. Mother’s are our care takers they help us learn and they teach us how to walk,talk, and be ourselves, so as we get older we need to take that position and teach our children as our mothers did us. On the other hand if someone might not have a mother they can look to their leaders, grandparents, aunts, prophets, or anyone of a higher

knowledge, If there are women out there with no children they can help to mother other children. My mother helps me with my personal progress she helps remind us to say our prayers at night and in the morning ,she reminds us to read our scriptures, and she helps us grow spiritually and physically. In Young women all of us learn the theme and it say’s

We are daughters of our heavenly father who loves us and we love him

We will stand as witnesses of god at all times and in all things and in all places As we strive to live the young women values which are

Faith, Divine Nature, Individual Worth, Knowledge, Choice and Accountability, Good Works, Integrity and, Virtue, We believe as we accept and act upon these values We will be prepared to strengthen home and family

Make and keep sacred covenants, receive the ordinances of the Temple

And enjoy the blessings of exaltation.

Those values are what teaches us how to become righteous women and Mothers. And i say these things in the name of Jesus Christ Amen." 

Mother's Day Talk

Yep, I'm aware. Sunday nor Mother's day have not happened yet, nor will they until tomorrow. I have my talk finished, and unless inspiration strikes otherwise, it is the talk I will be giving in the morning (there also needs to be some paring down so it may be shorter). My parents are in town for Jared's graduation, and I can't be trusted to remember to come back and do this later.  Nathan and Jordyn are also speaking, hopefully I can get copies of their talks and put them here. As I was looking back for a talk that Emma gave, I realized that some of my kids' talks are not on here. Total shame. I'm repenting because it is an excellent resource. Especially to look back on later and remind yourself of the things you once knew, but perhaps have forgotten. There is some bolding and some reminders to end a quote that help me in my delivery of the talk and if I don't necessarily read from it I have thins that help me find my place. So, without further ado;

Happy Mother's Day!

Introduction

6 talks I studied that are excellent resources on mothers/womanhood. They were:

Are we not all mothers; Sheri Dew

Certain Women; Linda K burton

A sin resistant generation; Joy D Jones

Behold thy mother; Holland

A Plea to my sisters; Nelson

A Mother Who Knows; Julie B Beck

Before I lose anyone to thinking they aren't a mother and so my talk doesn't apply, Sheri Dew said this:

 "Motherhood is more than bearing children. … It is the essence of who we are as women….While we tend to equate motherhood solely with maternity, in the Lord’s language, the word mother has layers of meaning. Of all the words they could have chosen to define her role and her essence, both God the Father and Adam called Eve “the mother of all living”--and they did so before she ever bore a child. Like Eve, our motherhood began before we were born. Just as worthy men were foreordained to hold the priesthood in mortality, righteous women were endowed premortally with the privilege of motherhood. Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us." end quote

Just like no woman is exempt from motherhood, no member of the church is exempt from being a teacher and a student, or a missionary. It is a charge that has been given to all, but is it something that we take seriously?

Elder Matthew Cowley taught that “men have to have something given to them [in mortality] to make them saviors of men, but not mothers, not women. [They] are born with an inherent right, an inherent authority, to be the saviors of human souls … and the regenerating force in the lives of God’s children.” End quote

I would add that the evidence for that is never more clear than obtaining a temple recommend. Men must hold the Melchizedek Priesthood to obtain a recommend, women do not. Have you ever pondered why that is?

You don't have to look very hard to see the effects of the war Satan has waged on motherhood. There is a legend about ship wreckers. The legend goes that men who would stand on the rocky shores and raise up a light high in the air to imitate a lighthouse, or tie lights on cattle and then walk them up and down the shores to imitate ships moving freely in the waters. This would cause ships to run aground or crash upon the rocks for the people on the shore to be able to claim the spoils. The ships were drawn into safety by a false light.

Are there ways women are being drawn away by false light from their true identity, and authority to be saviors of human souls?

There are many ways, too numerous to count, but some might include the false belief that: Only women who have children are mothers, You don't need a mother, Motherhood is less than the priesthood.

Many years ago I began to ponder more deeply the account of the stripling warriors, Who "were men of truth and soberness, for they had been taught to keep the commandments of God and to walk uprightly before him." Who did they attribute this teaching to? "we did not doubt because our mothers knew it." This is a phrase that went through my mind often, and it is something that I've been pondering for at least 7 years. I began to ask myself what did these mothers do. What would it look like today to be a mother of a stripling warrior. I will tell you that is a lifelong question to answer and it will look different for everyone. We and likewise our children are all blessed with different challenges, and talents, and we will all be given different answers as to how to become who we were created to be. I know that for me part of that answer was walking away from our dream home and moving here to Edgewood for the school my 2 youngest attend and for a simpler life where I could hopefully win a part of the battle against electronics and boredom, with some good ole fashion hard work.  But that is only a small part of that answer. There were many things that led up to that, things which included reevaluating the implementation of the basics in our family. Some of which we will discuss. 

To me being a stripling warrior mother/ righteous woman of God is about sacrifice. I'm speaking of more than the obvious sacrifice mothers already make with their bodies, time, and talents used in the rearing of children.

Every one of us has an overarching obligation to model righteous womanhood because our youth may not see it anywhere else. That is quite the responsibility and could require huge amounts of sacrifice. I remember when my children started getting older, and one day it finally occurred to me that if I was waiting for my children to go to bed to watch something because I didn't think it was good for them, then why did I think it was good for me. That realization hurt, and it took time to slowly start taking away shows one by one as I evaluated them on their ability to draw me to the Savior or away from Him. Change is hard and it takes time, but I have found that things naturally fall away instead of me making a list of things to take away when my heart is focused on the Saviors desire to make me into something more than I could ever make myself. Things naturally become offensive to me and it then becomes easy to remove them. It is a slow evolution.

Julie B Beck said that Mother's who know: "honor sacred ordinances and covenants. They create a climate for spiritual and temporal growth in their homes. They plan for prayer, scripture study, and family home evening. They build children into future leaders and are the primary examples of what leaders look like." end quote

The biggest and most effective thing we can do is be who we want our kids to be. We can't teach anything if we first don't live it. "preach the gospel (or teach) at all times and when  necessary use words"

President Nelson said: "Much of the major growth that is coming to the Church in the last days will come because many of the good women of the world … will be drawn to the Church in large numbers. This will happen to the degree that the women of the Church reflect righteousness and articulate it in their lives and to the degree that the women of the Church are seen as distinct and different--in happy ways--from the women of the world.” end quote

What does it look like to be distinct and different? Will it require some sacrifice? My kids recently asked me what happened, I used to be cool now I'm just a super religious nerd. I would say that the false light right now is telling us that we don't want to be different. We want to blend in. To be cool. I have never understood people who think it's a badge of honor if someone can't tell that they are a Mormon. Inferring that they were hip and tolerant and somehow more righteous than someone who was an obvious Mormon. By standing out and being different  its not about being judgmental, but having standards and living as closely with the attributes of Christ, and people should be able to spot that a mile away if you're doing it right. Daring to look different. To be different. There are many ways in which we stand out. No coffee or tea, modest clothing, clean language, dating standards, etc…It's not about the health benefits of not drinking coffee or tea, or the scientific facts about what uncovered body parts are deemed sexy, or any other academic argument,  because we could argue those all day. It is about the Lord's chosen people standing out and being different in ways that people recognize and know. It's about sacrifice.  So, What will you give up to know God. I don't look at it as what I'm giving up, but what I am gaining.  I always take comfort in finding someone else standing out and want to provide that kind of comfort to someone else. The way we carry ourselves, the things we are interested in, what things are important to us, all make up who we are presenting to the world that we are. Do people know who's we are as well?

President Nelson went on to say:

Attacks against the Church, its doctrine, and our way of life are going to increase. Because of this, we need women who have a bedrock understanding of the doctrine of Christ and who will use that understanding to teach and help raise a sin-resistant generation. We need women who can detect deception in all of its forms. We need women who know how to access the power that God makes available to covenant keepers and who express their beliefs with confidence and charity. We need women who have the courage and vision of our Mother Eve." end quote

Another area of false light we are up against is on the Character of Christ. Who He was and his expectations or lack there of on his followers. The false light of not needing to study the Character of Christ and emulate it.

I am a convert to the church, and for years I felt inferior to everyone around me. I always thought and said' well, I'm no scriptorian and I'll never be one. I'm not smart enough.' I would believe that members of the quorum of the 12 and first presidency were born superior and they were super human. Now you may laugh, it manifest in me as excuse to not living like the apostles do because they are different or there is a different expectation placed on them then there is for me the common man. How many times did I wait to get my act together (so to speak) until I received a calling? They are men, just like we are. Bednar talks about being an elder in the priesthood -which is the same as every other Elder in the church, only his stewardship is bigger, but it's the same priesthood authority. The very same. I believe it has also been the mission of President Eyring to help priesthood holders to realize they have the same power and authority within their stewardships as he does in his, and to rise to it. The only thing that holds us back is ourselves. One day I realized that my knowledge of the gospel was in my hands. The only tutor I needed was the Holy Ghost, and some good reference books, and studying repeatedly the words of living prophets. When I added to that a more consistent Temple attendance and family history for my ancestors, my understanding was taken to a level that I didn't know I was even capable of.  That is how we gain the bedrock understanding of the doctrine of Christ that Nelson talked about. It is also how we avoid being deceived by false light, so that we can guide others along the path- whether our own children or someone else's as well as ourselves.  President Nelson also plead with the sisters:

"My dear sisters, nothing is more crucial to your eternal life than your own conversion. It is converted, covenant-keeping women--women like my dear wife Wendy--whose righteous lives will increasingly stand out in a deteriorating world and who will thus be seen as different and distinct in the happiest of ways.

I thank you, my dear sisters, and bless you to rise to your full stature, to fulfill the measure of your creation, as we walk arm in arm in this sacred work. Together we will help prepare the world for the Second Coming of the Lord." end quote

I love that phrase fulfill or fill the measure of your creation. One day while sitting in the temple I began to ponder that phrase that I usually just don't bother to think about deeply. I thought of a measuring cup. It has a fill capacity. You can fill that cup only partially if you want. I thought of what things are keeping me from having a full measure of my creation, who I was born to be. I also began to ask myself 2 questions. What am I currently doing that I should stop and what am I not currently doing that I should start?

Now, what happens when all our efforts don't seem to yield the fruit we were expecting. We haven't been able to save everyone. I have begun to recognize that a lot of my testimony has been dependent upon outcomes or blessings, but what we really need a testimony of is our covenants. What I sometimes forget is the big part of the plan of salvation called agency. Aside from the atonement of Jesus Christ, agency is the most critical part of the plan. What if in our stewardship there is a child, a friend, a primary child, a yw/ym, a family member that your example wasn't enough to keep them from following after false light. For me this has been the biggest test of my faith, and also led me to understand Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ in a way I never have before, and really to understand more deeply the plan of salvation. 

Elder Holland spoke of a mother and her son who is struggling with same gender attraction. Of Mothers he said "

You see, it is not only that they bear us, but they continue bearing with us. It is not only the prenatal carrying but the lifelong carrying that makes mothering such a staggering feat. the impact of such love will range between unbearable and transcendent, over and over again, until with the safety and salvation of the very last child on earth, we can [then] say with Jesus, ‘[Father!] I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do.’ ” I love how Holland reminded mothers/women everywhere who may feel like they are dyeing from a broken heart when he said:

children can break their mothers’ heart. Here too we see another comparison with the divine. I need not remind us that Jesus died of a broken heart, one weary and worn out from bearing the sins of the world." end quote

It is important as covenant keeping women that we do not become discouraged by the constant attacks on every side from the fiery darts of the adversary. The false light that seems to surround us.  I loved how sister Burton talked about keeping a can can list of things we can do, when such discouragement comes upon us. We can take comfort that we know the outcome of this war.  Bruce R McConkie reminded us 43 years ago:

“As members of the Church, we are engaged in a mighty conflict. We are at war. We have enlisted in the cause of Christ to fight against Lucifer. …

“The great war that rages on every side and which unfortunately is resulting in many casualties, some fatal, is no new thing. …

“Now there neither are nor can be any neutrals in this war." end quote

Maybe is time to evaluate our commitment to this war and take head the admonition of Sheri Dew who said:

Never has there been a greater need for righteous mothers--mothers who bless their children with a sense of safety, security, and confidence about the future, mothers who teach their children where to find peace and truth and that the power of Jesus Christ is always stronger than the power of the adversary. Every time we build the faith or reinforce the nobility of a young woman or man, every time we love or lead anyone even one small step along the path, we are true to our endowment and calling as mothers and in the process we build the kingdom of God. No woman who understands the gospel would ever think that any other work is more important or would ever say, “I am just a mother,” for mothers heal the souls of men.

Look around. Who needs you and your influence.

We just can’t let the Lord down. And if the day comes when we are the only women on earth who find nobility and divinity in motherhood, so be it. For mother is the word that will define a righteous woman made perfect in the highest degree of the celestial kingdom, a woman who has qualified for eternal increase in posterity, wisdom, joy, and influence." end quote

Wow, doesn't that just fill you with a sense of duty?!  So, Who needs you and your influence, have you thought of anyone?

I have a deep and abiding knowledge of the plan of salvation and my divine role as a woman and mother in that plan. I am filled with hope that all my efforts to be successful in doing my part to raise a sin resistant generation and to hepl as many others along the covenant path as I can; will be sustained and upheld by the Lord and when I fall short, or have to suffer the choices of others, the atonement of Jesus Christ will be there to bear me up in strength, in comfort, and to make all things whole I so testify. 

Church, Do I Need It?

The following is taken from an audio book called 'Planted: Belief and Belonging in an Age of Doubt.' It is my transcription, and my punctuation and paragraph breaks, as well as some emphasis added. It is from the end of chapter 8. I thought it was really practical and profound, and I never wanted to forget it. So, it's here, because there are a plethora of fb articles about why people have left the church and why they don't need organized religion to be good or have a relationship with the Savior. They also lay out why they are a better person, happier, etc, etc, etc.  I can't speak to those articles, and everyone is entitled to their own truth. This however is mine (via this author- who is quoting often a professor).  I just add my Amen and admonition to read/listen (although I didn't really enjoy. no, it's awful. I'm sorry. the voice or speaking pattern of the audio version, but I made it through) to the entire book. Nothing below this paragraph are my words.

The church is true because it is concrete, not theoretical. It’s the place we not only talk about Christian discipleship, we exercise it. However awkwardly at times. 

In the life of the true church [Eugene] England [professor at BYU] writes there are constant opportunities for all to serve, not just an elite few especially to learn to serve people we would not normally chose to serve, or possibly even associate with, and thus opportunities to learn to love unconditionally. The organization of the church into strictly geographic areas compels us to love our neighbors wherever we find them, not just to chose the congregation that we feel best fits our personal tastes. The church thus caters to our needs far more than our wants. We are subjected to other people who don’t always think like we do, and who sometimes publicly offer misinformed and prejudicial notions as authoritative fact. We are asked to follow leaders who are untrained amateurs who occasionally make bad decisions and say or do things that are hurtful and possibly even constitute unrighteous dominion. Of course our own statements and decisions are always entirely reasonable and justified, and any offense taken is the result of other people failing to recognize our good intentions and wisdom. 

We’re asked to visit people who’s opinions, grooming habits, child rearing techniques, or wall decor are odious to our tastes. In turn, we are visited by other people. Often at inopportune times. Who endlessly recount their latest string of unpleasant medical melodies, or their judgment about the state of our souls, or in a really efficient visit, both. All of this unpleasantness is precisely the stuff of discipleship. As England observes, church involvement teaches us compassion and patience, as well as courage and discipline. It makes us responsible for the personal and marital, both physical and spiritual welfare of people we may not already love, or may even heartily dislike, and thus we learn to love them. It stretches and challenges us, though disappointed and exasperated, in ways we would not otherwise chose to be, and thus gives us a chance to be made better than we might chose to be, but ultimately need and want to be…

England further writes that [church] further assaults our lonely egos and imposes upon us bonds and responsibilities. Through it’s buffet of un-chosen associations, the church pushes us toward new kinds of being, in a way we most deeply want and need to be pushed. The church is a classroom where we do not necessarily chose either the content of our lessons or how or when they will be presented to us. Sighting a statement by president David O McKay, England observes that the learning we need and the grace we receive comes as a natural sequence to the performance of duty within the church, the home, and in the faithful pursuance of our other daily obligations, and as Jesus taught, we find ourselves only through the loss of self importance, self centeredness, and self satisfaction. We must constantly remember in England’s wise words, that the church is not a place to go for comfort to get our own prejudices validated, but a place to comfort others. Even to be afflicted by them. 

The path of ease, recognition, and casual sameness is not the way of the cross Christ calls us to bear…

The church is the instrument provided by a loving God to help us become like Him. It gives us schooling and experiences with each other that can bind us in an honest, but loving community...which is the essential nurturing place for salvation. We cannot engage in and live independently of the the Body of Christ….If we cannot accept the church and the challenges it offers with the openness and courage and humility They require, then I believe our historical studies and our theological enterprises are mainly a waste of time, and possibly destructive. 

The standard of the church’s divinity, is not it’s perfection, but it’s ability to serve as a school master for gods in embryo. 

The things that may be most frustrating and perplexing, may be the very means by which God is teaching us what it’s like to be him. 

The church is not merely something we tolerate while striving to live the true gospel or anticipating the coming kingdom of God. The kingdom of God is among us…Religion is to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable… I know that I am a better person and disciple of Christ by being a Mormon… 

The church is not only a repository of true doctrine and ordinances, but it also a laboratory of love, where we discover and encounter Christ through fellowship with and service to our fellow sisters and brothers. In this lab God gives us really dangerous chemicals to work with and clear instructions on how to handle them, but ultimately we have almost complete freedom to do with them what we will. Like any other laboratory, on occasion we blow things up. The explosions are real, and they hurt people, sometime badly, and we wonder why God gave such powerful chemicals to students like us, who obviously have so little clue what we’re actually doing. His chosen teaching assistants seem to have a better handle on things, and following their lead generally keeps us safe, but upon closer inspection, it’s clear their lab coats aren’t spotless either. They are, after all, still in graduate school themselves. Some of the students have gotten so disillusioned or hurt that they’ve left the lab altogether, but God’s answer is to stay in the lab. To clean up the mess whether it was made by us or by others, to keep experimenting and gain experience until we get it right and do something really amazing with the tools he gave us.