Well, this is my very first blog ever. I'm still not sure how I feel about this. It feels a bit self absorbed and self important- pretentious. I wonder about the authenticity of it all when you know that people are reading your blog. Your true feelings about certain areas of your life have to be masked and only partially revealed in order to protect those in your life that would be mentioned in a sometimes unfavorable way. So, what really is the point in all of this. I think others loose a sense of censorship in order to produce good blog writing in their search for their 5 min of "fame." So, in all honesty this is not a diary of sorts, but more of a record of events in my life that I feel so inclined to share with whomever is bored enough to read this. :) Now that didn't sound pretentious at all, did it?
So.......I just finished reading the Twilight series and I have a few thoughts that have been rolling around in my brain that I thought I would jot down to see if I could do this "blog thing." This is a series of books about vampires and werewolves. There is the all important ingredient of a love triangle between the human, vampire and werewolf namely Bella, Edward and Jacob. These books are highly addictive and most definitely mind candy and oh so delicious. So, true confessions----I'm in love with a vampire. Yes, a completely fictitious character that kills people to suck their blood. Crazy, I know. Now let me just say that he comes from a family of "vegan" vampires. They quench their thirst of blood on animals instead of humans, but vampires they are still. Because I loved the books I decided to go to the book club about them last night. Let's just say that it was all the confirmation that I needed to convince myself that I am not crazy. YIKES! There was someone there that has been to 4 book signings and 2 book parties one of which had a "prom" that you could attend where you got your prom picture taken with a models for Edward and Jacob and she has all kinds of trinkets that are too much to go into detail about. This has become a true obsession for this girl. We of course had to go into deep discussion about whom we would choose if we were Bella and there were actually quite a few supporters of Jacob there. It made me feel kind of bad for being in love with Edward when presented with their case. Vampire- cold, hard, seductive, blood suckers, killer of humans, deceptive, manipulator etc...... Werewolf-- sole purpose for existence is to protect humans from vampires, warm, still human, could live a full life with kids blah blah blah. Essentially that by choosing Edward you were choosing Satan. I know, a real self esteem booster right there. I should tell you that my very own husband has this very theory himself. I really don't know what got into me, but the writer did an excellent job of character development and I feel like I really know these characters and that I would sooooo run off with a vampire. I have post book depression now and miss my Edward. Silly, very silly. This however brought me to my next hypothesis. I like to call it desperate housewife syndrome. Just like this girl at book club is obsessed with these books (to the nth degree) I kind of have a mild to moderate crush on a real life rock star person and a fictional character from a book. While I have never gone to extremes, only indulging in my daydreams, my TVO, and 1 concert. My excuse for my boarderline ridiculous behavior is that I am so in the trenches of a sometimes mundane drudgery where you are nigh unto invisible that sometimes your only pleasure comes from fantasy and you have little choice but to develop crushes on fictional and nonfictional people. I make sure to tell my husband about all of my crushes to keep myself in check and hopefully not developing crushes on real people that could return the affection. This of course makes my husband feel like I'm not in love with him because I fantasies about being with everyone but him. I guess I just feel like a moon has crossed over my heart leaving a dark shadow there incapable of happiness. Why can't I just love the life I'm living and recognize it for the true gift that it is and take comfort and joy from the knowledge that my husband would go to the depths of hell to retrieve me if he had to. Why can I not find solace in the path of rearing 4 beautiful, smart and loving children. Why do I escape to an alternate reality. I do know without a doubt that this alternate reality holds no true joy for me there and I would miss terribly what I have, yet I find comfort there to make it through the days sometimes. I know all the fixes for what I am afflicted with yet I make no move towards them.
So, here I sit with my Eclipse.
3 comments:
I didn't want to read this one until after I'd finished Eclipse just in case there were spoilers. I can't believe that chick in your book club, that is insane!! When you start doing stuff like that, then we'll hit you over the head. Why else do you read a book but to experience another time, place, etc? I'll give you that this series is more escapist than most, but there is still the battle of good v. evil, even the battle to master our darker selves. As for your rock star obsession, I can't really help you there. Sorry!
I still have not finished reading this post because I haven't read the last book yet. I just keep walking past it at Target and I can't imagine rationalizing to Nate why I spent $17 on it when I'm on the hold list at the library. My day will come. I started reading this post before I'd even read the second book and as soon as I hit the part about werewolves and her having to choose between one and Edward. I was so mad at you when I was reading the second book because I kept speculating who the werewolf was going to be and how the author could possibly make us as the readers at all torn between Edward and ANYONE else... So, next time, put at the top of your post that your writing stuff that might spoil it for other people!!! :-) I'll comment again when I finally get the third book and finish it and actually read this post from start to finish. :-)
Sooo, sorry about the spoiler aleart. I'm a newbee cut me some slack!:) I had it figured out pretty early on and thought Bella was a total dope for being so dense. Just come for a visit, book 3 is sitting right here in the office.:)
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