Changing

So, I recently hit my mid thirties and I have discovered that I am changing. Aside from the obvious body changes such as grey hair, slow metabolism (so not fair) skin that just screams -hey I'm old, nasty vain covered legs, etc...... I have been going through an internal change as well. I have recently discovered that I have been spending most of my life trying to please and accommodate other people at the sacrifice of myself in the quest to become a decent human being. I have realized that the only thing this gets you is feeling like a martyr. I have recently taken on the attitude of "I'm done." I'm done making my life miserable to be a decent human being. I'm done bending over backward for people that don't even bend their little finger for me--does that even make any sense? :) What does that mean anyway? Anyway. I don't want to dwell on this new attitude or go into great detail so I'll end it there. Is this a mid thirties revelation, or am I just getting mean?

Recently I have adopted a new theme song that goes along with this new attitude of mine. I have always said that I don't care what people think while secretly kinda caring. Now I feel like it is more true than not. I see so many people struggling with body image issues - including myself sometimes- that it feels like it has gotten out of control and we should all huck our televisions out the window! This song captures that feeling perfectly and it has been awhile since I blogged about a song, so bear with me here.

This song is called Pork and Beans by Weezer

They say I need some rogaine to put in my hair
Work it out at the gym to fit my underwear
Oakley makes the shades to transform a tool
You'd hate for the kids to think that you've lost your cool

Imma do the things that i wanna do
I ain't got a thing to prove to you
I'll eat my candy with the pork and beans
Excuse my manners if i make a scene
I ain't gonna wear the clothes that you like
I'm fine and dandy with the me inside
One look in the mirror and i'm tickled pink
I don't give a hoot about what you think

Everyone likes to dance to a happy song
with a catchy chorus and beat so they can sing along
Timbaland knows the way to reach the top of the charts
maybe if i work with him i can perfect the art

Imma do the things that i wanna do
I ain't got a thing to prove to you
I'll eat my candy with the pork and beans
Excuse my manners if i make a scene
I ain't gonna wear the clothes that you like
I'm fine and dandy with the me inside
one look in the mirror and i'm tickled pink
I don't give a hoot about what you think
No, I don't care
I don't care
I don't care
I don't care
I don't care
I don't care

Imma do the things that i wanna do
I ain't got a thing to prove to you
I'll eat my candy with the pork and beans
Excuse my manners if i make a scene
I ain't gonna wear the clothes that you like
I'm fine and dandy with the me inside
one look in the mirror and i'm tickled pink
I don't give a hoot about what you think
[ Pork And Beans Lyrics on http://www.lyricsmania.com/ ]

I have no conceivable idea of what it means to eat your candy with your pork and beans. Is it some code words for something else? I have no idea! Anyway I love the song and it makes me smile every time I hear it. If I were crazy into blogging I would put the song on my front page, but since I'm not, you'll have to do the leg work yourselves if you want to hear this catchy tune. :)