Paralyzed

Lately I have been in a paralyzed state. So many factors have contributed to my stress level and my over all heavy heart feelings. Where to even start...... My neck and shoulders have really started hurting again lately which has made my jaw start to hurt and pop again leaving me with a headache every day. With all that has been going on lately I am having a hard time relaxing so that I can physically feel better. Just the demands of 4 kids and a house to clean and every other task that comes with that is enough to get the neck hurting but add in drama with the house, new drama at Nate's work, the sprint towards socialism in the country and now Jenny and Rick leaving.... it is all too much! I know that some people think I am crazy for being so passionate about my beliefs concerning the government, but we have a very serious problem on our hands, so if it makes you feel better about things.....call me crazy. I could write pages on this subject alone, but I will just leave it with a simple word to sum up all that is going on and all that I am feeling........SOCIALISM!!!! 'nough said!!! I seriously need to stop watching the news and listening to the radio because at this point it is no longer healthy for me! Seriously!
I am also starting to feel like I am destined for a life of solitude. Everyone keeps moving away and it is leaving me pretty bummed. First my best friend moved to Az now Jenny and Rick are moving to Pasco, WA. Jenny came out to Abq with her best friend Nina a couple of years after we moved here and she met Rick and got married and has lived here ever since. I have been in my own little cocoon ever since. We do family diners every Sunday and when Rick wasn't working on Sunday's we played games and called each other names. We go 4-wheeling together and hang out, spend holidays together and Jenny has been our personal nanny for our getaway weekends. Who am I going to call when Nate's out of town and the house is flooding? The boys wont even know who we are anymore and that makes me sad. What will I do without Noah asking to ride in Uncle Nate's truck anymore and Caden soaking me with his puke?
I guess it is time to branch out and let other people know we are alive. My fear is that we wont see anyone (family) anymore and what would Shayla ever need to come here for anymore? Can you tell I am throwing myself a huge pity party????? I'm good at the drama!!!! I know it will be good for Jenny and Rick to go on a new adventure and try out being more on their own and I know Shayla has been aching for family to be near so that is something to be happy about for sure....which I will recognize more when I'm done with my self pity. :)