Trudging Through the Muck!

I have been thinking a lot about inspiration lately, in large part due to my calling in the church. I have served in many capacities in the church and more specifically the Young Women program, but never as the President. I have never ridden such a roller coaster of emotions ranging from complete self doubt to- no problem, I can do this. I have some standard of "warm squishy" factor that I am expecting to receive to let me know if I am inspired or just making stuff up as I go and what I have realized is that I am too busy working my behind off to sit around waiting for warm squishies and just "go forward in faith." I have had to put my faith and trust in the Lord. He knows that it is me, Heather, he is using to accomplish His goals and He is in complete control. How did I come to realize this? Here's how:

After the Saturday session of the last 2 General Conferences they have been playing the movie "Errand of Angels." There are a couple of profound moments in that movie, one of which is this: After having a great week where the 2 sister missionaries have many teaching appointments and even receive a letter from their mission president commending them on their hard work, these sisters are on cloud nine thinking they have everything all figured out. In fact, they think that they are going to be able to keep having this kind of success. What happens the very next week? A big fat nothing, which leaves them with much doubt and they aren't able to ever capture that again. The main sister missionary in the movie gets a call saying that a woman they were teaching in her last companionship was getting baptized and specifically asked that this Sister Missionary be there. Well, the missionary couldn't even remember this woman because while teaching this woman she had nodded off and her companion had to nudge her awake. When she was nudged it startled her so much that she blurted out the question the missionaries always ask, "are you willing to follow the saviors example and commit to be baptized..." Unbeknown to this missionary it was said with such conviction that it really made this woman think and that was what had lead her to be baptized. The moral of the story is; that this is the Lord's church and he is in complete control. Your job is to humble yourself and let yourself be an instrument in the hands of the Lord. It will most likely be the moments we lest expect that will have some profound effect on someone and not the moments when we are proud of ourselves for doing everything right.

An easy way for me to tell if I'm confused is -when I look in the mirror, what am I trying to see? Am I trying to "find myself" or am I looking for the reflection of the Savior? Why is it that we are here? Where are we going? If we are looking for the reflection of the Savior in our countenance we will have the attitude found in 1 Nephi 3:7, "I will go and do the things which the Lord commanded..." I like to think of it as showing up to a meeting with the Savior in a helmet and boots, ready to trudge through the muck with the conviction found in Psalms 71:16, "I will go in the strength of the Lord..." Sometimes I forget that I am going in "strength" and think that I am out here in the waist high muck by myself. I trudge around for awhile thinking that I'm doing pretty good until I get bogged down and loose hope. This is when I imagine that I just sit down in the muck resigned that it will finally consume me when off on the side I hear a "ah hem, remember me? The one with the rope just standing hear waiting to throw you a life line?" The Savior is always there to lift us up and out of the muck, remind us who we are and point us back to the direction we should be headed. He is there with a warm smile and a reminder "Fear not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." Isaiah 41:10. This buoys me up and I am ready to go on trudging along trying to be about my Father's business until I get bogged down again and the whole cycle repeats itself. "Nevertheless they did fast and pray oft, and did wax stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ, unto the filling their soul with joy and consolation, yea even to the purifying and the sanctification of their hearts, which sanctification cometh because of their yielding their hearts unto God." Heleman 3:35

To help ward off getting stuck in the muck so often I have really taken the council at General Conference by President Monson to heart; "What have I done, to help someone today." It is quite remarkable just how often the opportunity to help someone arises when you are prayerfully seeking out the opportunity. This council also helps us change the focus away from ourselves and eventually the image in the mirror will reflect back what it should, The Savior. "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." Matthew 5:16