I seem to be having a hard time getting around to writing posts lately. I've spend a good portion of my time helping a friend paint their house, so I guess I've been busy. Something really cool happened on Saturday the 21st. Elder Holland came to speak with the missionaries, Bishops and Elders Quarum presidents. My husband was scheduled and had paid for a buisness conference and was having a hard time deciding what to do about the conflict. I thought it was easy to resolve and I counciled him, that for me, it was a matter of priorities. If he wasn't going to attend I was willing to shave my head and put on his suit so that I could go as him. That's how bad I wanted to attend.
What do you do when you would give anything to just be in a room with someone of that spiritual magnitude? I would be happy just sharpening pencils and shining the shoes of Elder Holland just to be able to stand in his shadow and see what he sees and know what he knows. An opportunity to observe greatness with the hope that some of it wold rub off on me. I think of the story in the New Testiment of the woman who touched the garment of the Savoior. Knowing that if she could only just touch his garment she would be healed. That's the way I feel about the prophets and apostles.
I knew there was a good chance that my husband was going to be able to shake Elder Hollands hand and asked him to please save it for me. I wanted to be able to vicariosly shake his hand via my husbands and maybe, just maybe, some of the risidual spiritualness would be enough to transfer into my hand.
What did my wonderful husband do for me? At the end of the amazing and inspiring conference he got to shake Elder Hollans's hand. He said the only problem was there were 2 other hands to shake after his and he thought for a moment about not shaking their hands, but then he decided that would be rude. After he shook the men's hands he went to his car and put a glove on to preserve the handshake for me. Seriously, how cute is that? I love that man!
How lucky am I to have a husband who indulges me in my crazyness. He was just as excited to be able to share the experience with me. Elder Holland even talked of the problems Peter had with people following him everywhere just to be able to stand in his shadow. Hmm. Sounds familiar. I think I would have been among them.
I even had a back-up plan. I had 2 friends that were providing security (probably to protect him from people like me). I knew their chances for a handshake were greater than Nate's and I was serious about getting my second hand shake. I promised to be a good girl and not do anything to get myself tased. How embarrising would that have been? Hahaha
Another moment of pure love came when talking to my son about doing things we don't want to do. He got invited to an event for all Eagle scouts in the area (essentially a fundraiser) He had to sit at a table with a bunch of strangers and stare at his sad excuse for a lunch that was served- while starving.
They charged 35 bucks for salad, a roll and coffee or tea (his meal was free, but we had to pay for Nate's). They didn't even have water. How crazy is that? You had to ask for water if you didn't want the tea or coffee, and he was too full of anxiety to pull that off. He said that he blacked out while sitting there. We have lots of opportunities to talk about overcoming anxiety and surviving situations that make us want to stab our eyes out....because life is full of those moments.
What I wish I had for my next story of love is a picture of both my boys in their suits. Ethan has been passing the sacrament and last week was Jared's first time up on the stand to bless it. He was the guy in the middle so he didn't say the prayer but he got up there after he said that he wouldn't. He thinks he is going to pass out if he has to say the prayer. I'm in Tampa (I'm home now and still can't get this thing written) and so I am anxious to hear if he blesses it while I'm not even there (he didn't go to church) -which will kill me. Here's the heart warming thing about my son - who claims to have no feelings:
Ethan's first time passing the sacrament he was nervous. I saw him sitting with all the boys with a look on his face that let me know he was about to start crying. The kid likes everything laid out for him. He's a rule follower and wants to be sure he knows what he is doing so he doesn't look like a fool. He wants someone to show him how. Well, you often don't get that in the church. You just get thrown in. His confidence about where he was supposed to go to deliver the sacrament was waning. I turned to Jared and told him that Ethan looked like he was about to lose it. That's all I said. The next thing I know, Jared has gotten up from his seat and gone over to where the Aaronic priesthood boys were sitting. He says something and one of the boys gets up and leaves and Jared sits down next to his brother. I see a laminated card come out and they begin to discuss Ethan's assignment. Ethan was relieved and they both passed the sacrament. It was seriously one of the most tender hearted moments I have witnessed as a mother observing her children.
Two weeks later when Jared took his place on the stand to bless the sacrament, I again saw him step into the leadership role. He had never been in that position before yet he took control and I could see him directing everyone to what they were supposed to be doing. He is as funny and riduculous about his abilities as I am. He would much rather follow someone who knows what they are doing and feels safe in the structure of rules to follow. As I'm typing this I realize how bipolar he is about rules and following them. Anyway, in the absence of direction he doesn't think twice about being the one to step up and make it look like he knows exactly what he's doing and it was the plan the whole time for him to be leading. He's running from his talents and what is required of him because he's been given them. I just had an insight into my child as I was writing about this. What is most promising to me is when he is faced with such situations where he doesn't have time to think about who he is or what he believes, he is full of faith, leadership, kindness, and compassion. It's the person who I've been trying so hard to get him to be. Now I just need to help him see who he already is. There are people who wear the perfect mask. They are kind and faithful and perfect, but when the rubber hits the road and they are tested or not given enough time to react, the real person comes out and it's quite ugly. Maybe we spend more time worrying about the ones who appear to be struggling but really should spend more time on the ones that don't?
I wish I could say that I was feeling the love for Tampa, but I cannot. It was cold, cloudy, and raining the entire time I was there. What's worse is that we got our best snow storm at home while I was gone and I missed the whole thing. There was no snow left when we got home. Our staff that stayed at the conference 2 extra days told us that literally while our plane was lifting off the runway the sun came out and they went to the beach. Seriously? Only in NM could I get off a plane from FL in sandals (which I didn't even need) to 65 degree sunny weather and stand next to a pile of plowed snow- I know, where's that picture? My picture documentation is on the decline....better amp that back up :0)
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