4 am

Well, it's 4 in the morning and I just got out of a steaming hot shower feeling clean and refreshed only to be immediately assaulted with the permeating smell of dog !@#$. An hour earlier our dog came into the bedroom and scared me to death because he was locked in his cage when I went to bed. Was he having a "Lassy" moment and come to warn us of danger? His dangerous butt maybe! I didn't notice the assaulting smell until I sat up to take advantage of my awakeness to go to the bathroom while Nate tried to get the dog back downstairs. I yelled after him that there was crap somewhere. Great, now I have to track the crap down. The smell just kept getting worse the closer I got to the family room downstairs and at first I was relieved to see that there was diarrea in his crate........dogs don't crap in their crates........oh man where else is it........did he finish off somewhere else.......was it dripping out of his butt.......I have probably been stepping in it the whole way down here......Where is Nathan, he needs to come take this bedding outside.........really where is he! While I was finding crap all over the downstairs with a huge pile of it in the theater and little drops all along his path to the stairs and all up the stairs and even on the wall from it taking flight, Nathan was upstairs removing all of Emma's bedding because he had climbed up on Emma's bed while Nathan was trying to get him back downstairs. There was also crap on her floor in the hallway and in our bedroom on our bedding. Emma slept through the whole thing and I'm wondering if she is still sleeping in crap because I now find out that he crawled over her head and so there is probably crap in her hair to which Nathan thinks is funny. Real funny, I'm on the verge of tears and he is laughing. He also got mad at me for getting mad at the dog. Whatever!!!! So what if the poor dog didn't know what to do with himself when he got sick and was frantically looking for a way out of the house. He's a dog and he ruined my life! He !@#$ all over my house! Nathan went through the house CSI style with his trusty flashlight looking for poo and marking it with squares of toilet paper to which I then cleaned up with the carpet cleaner. I'm also sitting here realizing that I am starving but have no appetite because it smells so completely horrible throughout the entire house. Nathan of course can't be bothered with little things like smell and had himself a bowl of cereal already! To which he laughed again and said the smell of crap made him hungry! Ok, so I am laughing , a little, but only a little. I've got to call and get my carpets cleaned and I am washing bedding right now and the curtains that were hanging by his crate and did I mention I'm hungry and even without the loss of appetite I really shouldn't eat because my wii fit trainer keeps letting me know that I am on the verge of being overweight and everytime I step on the board it says, oh! An "oh" like someones been eating the cookies now haven't they "oh!" Sigh.........maybe I will go read for awhile in some corner of the house that hopefully doesn't smell and at least when it is "morning" I won't have to take a shower because I already did.