I received my latest blog book in the mail and the kids took one look and said "it's huge!" Jared then proceeded to give me a lecture on what I should be writing about. I've mentioned before that the kids feel like my blog got too religious and that I "started out writing the large plates, which was cool and ended up writing the small plates, which has no value to us." I disagree, but considered the statement. I then reminded Jared that he was older now and could resent me for the things I say here.....for example......
I asked if I could write how we got into a huge fight because of his lack of respect for me. I then took his phone out of his hand. Marched back in his room, kicked him off the chair he was sitting in and drug it out of the room by myself. Should I write about how he couldn't get his items back (including the laptop cord that I also took) when he could tell me why I took the items away that I did. How those are privilege items and not rights. I'm sure I could write it up into a fun little story, but I'm not sure how he would feel about it. He insisted that it wouldn't bother him and that that is the stuff he wants to go back and read when he gets older. It's food for thought.
I'm not sure how long I will keep this blog up. Until the urge to write hits, I always think I have nothing left to say, so who knows. It also makes it hard to tell a story completely when you are sharing it publicly. There are lots of things that I think have real value to add to other peoples lives that I just can't figure out how to share here because I have to be careful. Sometimes it makes me not want to write.
I have learned a couple of things in the last few days that I can share. I met up with a friend of mine that I don't see very often - even though she lives mere blocks from me -but in a different ward. The relationship curse of not being in the same ward. It's a strange cultural thing in our religion. Anyway, we are both seminary teachers and having some personal struggles. As we talked she brought up the time she was living in the house across from mine and got tears in her eyes. It was a time in her life that meant a great deal and I had helped her more than I could know. Here's the fun part. She is the person that I credit with the decision I made to fully commit myself to the gospel and all that entails. She is the one that gave me my gospel confidence. She helped me to realize that I knew more than I thought I did and gave me the courage to verbalize it. She knew so much, but was never intimidating. Here I was thinking I was the benefactor in that relationship. The cool thing about the Lord is that he can be accomplishing many things at one time. You just never know. The times when you feel you have the least to give, you could be giving more than you could have possibly imagined. His purposes are always in motion. He really does make weak things become strong. He can take our meager offerings and make them magnificent.
During that conversation we also talked about personality types and she told me that I really needed to take this one specific test because she was curious. We are both introverts that really love each others company. I have to say. I hate taking tests like that because I feel like they are so subjective. I would answer the same question differently depending on my mood or how it was phrased. I didn't know how accurate it could be. The results were pretty shocking and pretty dead on.....maybe I'll attach them at the end.
The last thing I learned about the direction my life is headed is that I'm on the road. I'm going where I need to be going. I get little signs of encouragement all along the way. The latest little sign came last week while I was going thru my fb feed. What does president Uchtdorf think we should be focusing on this year? Forgiveness. What answer did I just get from the Lord on what I should be studying this go round with the BOM? Forgiveness. Pretty cool.
Ok, so below are the results of my test. You can take your own here: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp
I had Jared take the test and it helped me to see how I could communicate with him better, and better understand where he's coming from. He's all thinking and no feeling. When he tells me that he doesn't use feelings to determain anything, this test backed him up. This difference between us is where we get into all of our arguments -especially gospel related.
Below is everything you would ever want to or not want to know about my personality. It's pretty dead on. Jared and I got a kick out of what it said I was suited to - inspirational teaching and religious leadership.
Nathan has been using a similar test to see if employees are compatible with his practice. He doesn't use one every time because they are expensive, but they have been very helpful in determining whether or not to put time and resources into a new employee. The kind of company he uses looks at his test and compares it to the potential employees and tells him if they are going to get along.
INFJ Description
INFJs are distinguished by both their complexity of character and the unusual range and depth of their talents. Strongly humanitarian in outlook, INFJs tend to be idealists, and because of their J preference for closure and completion, they are generally "doers" as well as dreamers. This rare combination of vision and practicality often results in INFJs taking a disproportionate amount of responsibility in the various causes to which so many of them seem to be drawn.
INFJs are deeply concerned about their relations with individuals as well as the state of humanity at large. They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they appear so outgoing and are so genuinely interested in people -- a product of the Feeling function they most readily show to the world. On the contrary, INFJs are true introverts, who can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or obvious "soul mates." While instinctively courting the personal and organizational demands continually made upon them by others, at intervals INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out even their intimates. This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them, providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible as inherent "givers." As a pattern of behavior, it is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ character to outsiders, and hence the most often misunderstood -- particularly by those who have little experience with this rare type.
Due in part to the unique perspective produced by this alternation between detachment and involvement in the lives of the people around them, INFJs may well have the clearest insights of all the types into the motivations of others, for good and for evil. The most important contributing factor to this uncanny gift, however, are the empathic abilities often found in Fs, which seem to be especially heightened in the INFJ type (possibly by the dominance of the introverted N function).
This empathy can serve as a classic example of the two-edged nature of certain INFJ talents, as it can be strong enough to cause discomfort or pain in negative or stressful situations. More explicit inner conflicts are also not uncommon in INFJs; it is possible to speculate that the causes for some of these may lie in the specific combinations of preferences which define this complex type. For instance, there can sometimes be a "tug-of-war" between NF vision and idealism and the J practicality that urges compromise for the sake of achieving the highest priority goals. And the I and J combination, while perhaps enhancing self-awareness, may make it difficult for INFJs to articulate their deepest and most convoluted feelings.
Usually self-expression comes more easily to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills. Since in addition they often possess a strong personal charisma, INFJs are generally well-suited to the "inspirational" professions such as teaching (especially in higher education) and religious leadership. Psychology and counseling are other obvious choices, but overall, INFJs can be exceptionally difficult to pigeonhole by their career paths. Perhaps the best example of this occurs in the technical fields. Many INFJs perceive themselves at a disadvantage when dealing with the mystique and formality of "hard logic", and in academic terms this may cause a tendency to gravitate towards the liberal arts rather than the sciences. However, the significant minority of INFJs who do pursue studies and careers in the latter areas tend to be as successful as their T counterparts, as it is *iNtuition* -- the dominant function for the INFJ type -- which governs the ability to understand abstract theory and implement it creatively.
In their own way, INFJs are just as much "systems builders" as are INTJs; the difference lies in that most INFJ "systems" are founded on human beings and human values, rather than information and technology. Their systems may for these reasons be conceptually "blurrier" than analogous NT ones, harder to measure in strict numerical terms, and easier to take for granted -- yet it is these same underlying reasons which make the resulting contributions to society so vital and profound.
Beneath the quiet exterior, INFJs hold deep convictions about the weightier matters of life.Those who are activists - INFJs gravitate toward such a role - are there for the cause, not for personal glory or political power.
INFJs are champions of the oppressed and downtrodden.They often are found in the wake of an emergency, rescuing those who are in acute distress.INFJs may fantasize about getting revenge on those who victimize the defenseless.The concept of 'poetic justice' is appealing to the INFJ.
"There's something rotten in Denmark." Accurately suspicious about others' motives, INFJs are not easily led.These are the people that you can rarely fool any of the time.Though affable and sympathetic to most, INFJs are selective about their friends. Such a friendship is a symbiotic bond that transcends mere words.
INFJs have a knack for fluency in language and facility in communication. In addition, nonverbal sensitivity enables the INFJ to know and be known by others intimately.
Writing, counseling, public service and even politics are areas where INFJs frequently find their niche.
(INFJ stands for Introvert, iNtuitive, Feeling, Judging and represents individual's preferences in four dimensions characterising personality type, according to Jung's and Briggs Myers' theories of personality type.)
Functional Analysis Of The INFJ
Introverted iNtuition
Introverted intuitives, INFJs enjoy a greater clarity of perception of inner, unconscious processes than all but their INTJ cousins. Just as SP types commune with the object and "live in the here and now" of the physical world, INFJs readily grasp the hidden psychological stimuli behind the more observable dynamics of behavior and affect. Their amazing ability to deduce the inner workings of the mind, will and emotions of others gives INFJs their reputation as prophets and seers. Unlike the confining, routinizing nature of introverted sensing, introverted intuition frees this type to act insightfully and spontaneously as unique solutions arise on an event by event basis.
Extraverted Feeling
Extraverted feeling, the auxiliary deciding function, expresses a range of emotion and opinions of, for and about people. INFJs, like many other FJ types, find themselves caught between the desire to express their wealth of feelings and moral conclusions about the actions and attitudes of others, and the awareness of the consequences of unbridled candor. Some vent the attending emotions in private, to trusted allies. Such confidants are chosen with care, for INFJs are well aware of the treachery that can reside in the hearts of mortals. This particular combination of introverted intuition and extraverted feeling provides INFJs with the raw material from which perceptive counselors are shaped.
Introverted Thinking
The INFJ's thinking is introverted, turned toward the subject. Perhaps it is when the INFJ's thinking function is operative that they are most aloof. A comrade might surmise that such detachment signals a disillusionment, that she has also been found lacking by the sardonic eye of this one who plumbs the depths of the human spirit. Experience suggests that such distancing is merely an indication that the seer is hard at work and focusing energy into this less efficient tertiary function.
Extraverted Sensing
INFJs are twice blessed with clarity of vision, both internal and external. Just as they possess inner vision which is drawn to the forms of the unconscious, they also have external sensing perception which readily takes hold of worldly objects. Sensing, however, is the weakest of the INFJ's arsenal and the most vulnerable. INFJs, like their fellow intuitives, may be so absorbed in intuitive perceiving that they become oblivious to physical reality. The INFJ under stress may fall prey to various forms of immediate gratification. Awareness of extraverted sensing is probably the source of the "SP wannabe" side of INFJs. Many yearn to live spontaneously; it's not uncommon for INFJ actors to take on an SP (often ESTP) role.
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