Schooled

I've been thinking about writing this post since Thursday.  I could never really figure out what to say and just kept putting it off.  I figured that I would just sit down and jot down some thoughts and not worry about how they all come together.  So, if this doesn't end up being a cohesive thought, I apologize.

I was supposed to give a lesson on the school of prophets for seminary and it ended up being a snow day.  It was actually quite ridiculous that we had the day off, but I think they were making up for the week before when they didn't delay or cancel and the road conditions were really dangerous.  My husband and I actually had a bet going on Wed night about whether or not it would snow.  He's the eternal optimist when it comes to the chance of snow and I'm the doubter.  I was fairly confident in my bet for no snow and now I'm trying to figure out how to get out of what I owe!

Ethan decided not to let a little cast get in the way of him being able to enjoy the snow.  Funny kid.

So, back to this lesson that I didn't get to give.  It was one of those potentially great lessons with lots of real life examples to draw parallels to.  If you think about the opportunities we as members of the church have today compared to when the church was in it's infancy, it's astounding.  The school of prophets was to be "a place of prayer, fasting, faith, learning, and order."  Each and every member of the church in our day has that opportunity to attend "the school of prophets" through many different ways - if they are willing to see it.

With the kids home for the day I was trying to decide if I was going to go about what I had already planned or if I was going to try and be fun mom.  The kids weren't interested in doing anything fun, so I decided to proceed with going to the temple.  I had some family names from a friend that needed initiatory work done for.  Anytime I am getting ready to go, or travel to somewhere for spiritual instruction, I prepare myself mentally.  This means that I don't jam out to my favorite music.  I want to open myself up to receive instruction so I listen to hymns, conference talks, or BYU speeches. Actually - to out myself as a true nerd, I find myself listening less and less to music and more and more to talks and speeches.  I know, I know.  

It is so easy to fill your mind with good things now days with the simple touch of a screen.  My phone plugs into the speaker system in my car and I can listen to the scriptures and talks all from my handy phone.  It's pretty amazing!  Can I also just say, that it is so nice to hear Elder Maxwell's voice again with a simple little touch of a screen.

While I was driving to the temple Thursday morning I was able to listen to almost 3 talks.  The first one was "lord is it, I" be president Uchtdorf.  I had forgotten how much I loved that talk.  It reminded me of all the things I have been working on this past year and the things that I want to continue to work on.  It also reminded me of my time with the family history people.  I then listened to President Eyring's talk "The Preparatory Priesthood."  I don't know what it is about his voice but it brings tears to my eyes.  There is something that Elder Maxwell talks about in that speech I pictured above - "mute comprehension."  It's when you know something, but you can't verbalize it.  When president Eyring speaks, I know something that I can't verbalize. ( I would love to devote an entire post to exploring that....later)

I arrived at the temple with my mind and heart ready to receive whatever the Lord was willing to give to me.  I'm at the temple a lot.  Some trips are more spiritual than others.  Sometimes I'm just going through the motions.  Because it was a Thursday there were a lot of the people that I work with there because they work every week while I only work 1 - 2 of them.  I was doing the work of a bunch of sisters with women that I know and it was a very tender experience.  I was experiencing a "mute comprehension" of the work I was doing and who I was doing it for.

The fact of the matter is this.   I would love all my days to be filled with such peace and understanding.  The kind of understanding that fills you with the desire to do more and be more.  Filled with the possibility of being on the verge of greatness, but most of this life is filled with far more dull moments.  I was happy of that reminder when I read an article Saturday morning called "Most Putts Don't Drop, Most Beef is Tough" by Maurine Proctor.    She used this quote by President Hinckley; " Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he's been robbed.  The fact is that most putts don't drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to just be people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise.  Life is like and old time rail journey...delays...sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling burst of speed." Yep, do I need that reminder!  There were actually several great things about that article that don't need me to try and retell.

I went and saw "American Sniper" last night.  Yes, I know, it's rated R.  We've been through this.  Anyway, I came home depressed.  In fact, I couldn't even speak for quite awhile when it was over.  It is just sad what we ask people to sacrifice in our name and then not sustain and support that sacrifice.  It got me thinking about how selfish I am and wondering why I had never thought to find a way to do something to give back to our service men and women.  I know first hand the struggles they face when they get home because I grew up with a father suffering from PTSD because of his service in the Vietnam war.  I looked into opportunities to help in my area, and we'll see where it goes from here.  I'm not sure what I'm capable of doing and my visions are always bigger than my reality, but I think I want to pursue this avenue.

All I know is that I have a willing heart.  I'm enrolled in the school of prophets -so to speak.  I'm willing to learn all that my Father feels I'm ready to learn.  I'm willing to do what He wants me to do. That involves knowing his words through scriptures and prophets and then being willing to act.  Every time I come up with an idea of what it is I think I should be doing with my time, I need to ask my Father in Heaven if it be right and then be willing to accept the answer and act accordingly.  It's no easy path though because most putts don't drop, but that doesn't mean we stop trying.  When that one putt does drop, it is a feeling like no other that can keep you going until the next time.   That's how we walk and learn by faith.  If every putt dropped, where would our faith be?