It has become tradition in our house that your first solo drive involves your sibling and a trip to sonic for happy hour slushies. The funny thing is that Jared is a major cheapskate. He always makes Emma pay for everything -and silly girl, she does. Jared doesn't really like to leave the house so he had no desire for his maiden voyage, but Emma was persistent. He owed her a slushy and she wanted him to pay up- and besides, he needed to get the dreaded drive up window experience over with. Welcome to adulthood, driving, and boys buying things for girls.
Wednesday morning the weather decided to flip out. It was 18 degrees, but really only about 9 with the windchill factor. It was seriously cold. What do you do on such a day? Cuddle up with a blanket, a dog, scriptures, and a fire. mmmmm toasty warm. All things I truly consider gifts -the kind that keep you warm inside and out.
Jordyn is trying to discover the gift of books. She needs to spend more time reading to get her skills up so I made her sit with me and read for an hour (the elementary school had the day off for parent teacher conferences). She set the timer on her phone and kept looking at it every min. She said "this is the longest hour of my life!" I finally had to confiscate her timer so that she would stop looking at the time and just try to enjoy the story she was reading. She was totally hogging all the heat coming from the fireplace!
After I finished my scripture reading I pulled out 2 speeches a friend recommended to me. It was after a training meeting we were at together Tuesday night and we were talking about being disconnected (my previous post). Knowing her is like having a personal library assistant. She said that she knew just the speech for me to read and the perfect companion piece to it. I came home printed them off and started reading them the next morning. Having her as a friend is an absolute true gift. The internet is another gift because "Unleashing the Dormant Spirit" was given in 1996. With about 2 seconds of searching the internet I had it printed out and in my hands. Amazing! Yes in this digital age, I printed them out. I wanted the satisfaction of the yellow highlighter in my hand and then to keep them in my seminary lesson/journal book. If I can understand this piece of the puzzle I can hopefully help others to understand it as well - which is always my goal.
What else is amazing is this speech. When I read it I thought. Good grief. Forget everything I've said on the subject. Go to him. There's no need for me. Here's what I reminded myself of. There is a law of witnesses. I am but another witness to everything that has ever been said before. I have my own applications and understanding that make me unique, but if you want the good stuff - go to this talk. Now a word of caution. You may not be ready for such a speech. This is definitely living the higher law. Don't get down on yourself. In fact he quotes a Christian teacher by the name of John Cassian who said this:
"It is easier for a worldly person to come to a healing change of his life, or even to the top of perfection, than a tired saint who is fallen from his first enthusiasm, because the worldly man will go through pain and agony and, sooner or later, he will not be able to stand it any longer, and will rush in the depths of depression to the source of true cleansing. But, when somebody has begun to pollute his name as a saint, without joyfulness and enthusiasm, he will still feel safe and, therefore, will not recognize what he is missing and, therefore, he is not easy to be taught, He will say in his heart, I'm blessed. I know it all and need nobody."
How true is that statement. I have always felt lucky that I was a convert because I know what it's like not to have the gospel and I had to fight and sacrifice to have it. Everyone needs a crisis or a decision of faith......and you have to keep having them over and over again. There are lots of great books written on the subject.
Now, if after you read that speech and you find yourself in a pit of despair, comfort yourself with the talk by president Eyring "gifts of the Spirit for Hard Times." It is a much gentler approach to the same subject. He emphasizes the message more clearly that "the Holy Ghost only dwells in a clean temple, and the reception of the Holy Ghost cleanses us through the Atonement of Jesus Christ." It's more of an eternal round. You can't have 1 without the other. The speeches compliment each other so well -again the law of witnesses!
Speaking of witnesses. Just before I read those 2 speeches I was reading this verse in Helaman 15 (yes I'm still in Helaman!) verse 10. Samuel the Lamanite had been on the wall crying repentance to the Nephites. He is telling them that the Lamanites are better than they are. Ouch! Here's why:
"And now, because of their steadfastness when they do believe in that thing which they do believe, for because of their firmness when they are once enlightened, behold, the Lord shall bless them and prolong their days, notwithstanding their iniquity -"
That scripture is a witness to what that Christian teacher said. I also like at the very beginning of this chapter it has the theme of my general conference quote by Elder Holland from April -in verse 1 it says "except ye shall repent your houses shall be left unto you desolate." For me the funnest part of studying is seeing how everything ties together and fits together like one enormous puzzle. That is one of the blessings of study - all things start fitting together, testifying of each other, and making more sense because your mind is being opened up to understanding.
I can only tell you in some small degree what I have noticed in myself. The more I try to make myself a worthy vessel for the Spirit to dwell within me, the more I see his guidance in every thing that I'm doing. I've also made it a choice to see every encounter as a miracle. Simple things like being at the school on the day that a teacher was going to break down in tears and I was there to offer a hug. Sitting next to my friend and talking about a subject that I was thinking about and she gave me 2 more wonderful resources. Needing the words to say in a situation that I'm not equipped to deal with and they came - and with power. I've documented a lot of the situations here and even more in my private journal. Some things I just can't share here. This is still an accurate representation of how I view my world, but I have to be careful - my private journal- not so much. There's some pretty cool experiences in there right now.
My kids actually gave me a hard time earlier this week. It started by Ethan asking what I type on the computer "all day everyday." My blog and my journal. "That much?" The older kids piped up and said "your blog used to be cool because it was about us. Now it's not. What good is it to us now?" Well, first of all. They complained when it was about them. Second of all, I've needed an outlet for all my thinking. This blog is really just me thinking out loud and letting anyone who want to, take the journey with me. I don't like to go back over what I've written in the current year. I get too critical and wonder why I didn't add different things or say it better. Sometime I do have to check and see if I've already talked about something because my brain can't keep track of it all. I tried to explain to my children that was I was writing was extremely valuable to them and their children. They just rolled their eyes. Ahhh children are such a gift :0)
No comments:
Post a Comment