I feel so lucky to be living so close to AZ so that I can reap the benefits that it has without actually having to live there. Pretty sweet deal. One such perk is being able to attend TOFW. I have a slight addiction to attending the event each year -sometimes twice (if I go here and there). I didn't get to go this year in abq because we were in Nauvoo instead.
I'm all about looking for opportunities to strengthen my armor and the armor of my family, so I took my daughter and niece with me. They had an event just for girls at the same time. It was my niece's first experience with anything like this. She's never been to EFY or TOFG.
My daughter is a bigger daredevil than I am. She actually raced up to the stage and talked with one of my favorite "B's" - John Bytheway, and Hillary Weeks. Emma and Megan had a 5 minute conversation with Hillary and loved every second of it. She thinks I'm a big fat chicken for not trying to meet "B" after he spoke in the adult session. My friend, Jo, almost had me talked into going up but I said "I'm not good at that. I wouldn't have the slightest idea what to say." So, Emma gets to flaunt her pictures and experience in my face.....and I'm pretty jealous. She was floating on a cloud after meeting them.
The three of us stayed in a hotel downtown and had fun walking everywhere we needed to go. It was so warm and beautiful and full of palm trees.
Below is pictures of the event. How close I got to B is the upper pic on the left. He is such a dynamic speaker. He is my idol. He can take the most complex principles and boil them down into something completely relatable and easy to understand and all while making you smile. He didn't relate this story to the adults, but Emma told me he told the girls a story about his oldest son. One day he said "I don't know that I've ever felt the spirit." B kinda freaked out and locked himself in his office and started writing "how do I know I know." It actually gave me so much hope because if one of his kids can come to him and say that after living with him - well, I'm ok. Plus, I bought that book a few months ago to help me with my own kids, so thanks!
I'm going to get a bit of complaining over with. The event location and volume of people was a nightmare. There were 5,000 of us adults and 1,000 girls. On top of that there were a ton of other events happening at the same time. We couldn't get lunch because there were just too many people all fighting for the same couple of locations. Just getting out of the building was like and ant hill. That picture doesn't even represent the time where there was no floor visible because we were all leaving at the same time. You just hope and pray that there isn't a problem and a stampede doesn't break out or someone will die. I vowed again this time to never go back.....I remember having the same conversation after the last time I went. I'm all talk I tell ya!
One of the funny things about this conference was the laziness of writing down notes this year. Every time someone used the screen to display a quote you saw all the cell phones pop up into the air and snap a picture of it. I wonder how many of those will actually ever be looked at again. Probably none....well except for my example picture right here.
Both days Jo and I got right up close. I love going with only 1 other person. Finding 2 seats together is easy peasy but any more than that and it's a nightmare of christmas bargain shopping proportions. We just played it calm and cool and decided that whatever would be would be. We were not going to engage in the pushing and shoving to get good seats at a conference that was supposed to be bringing out our Christlike attributes. We also weren't going to cut in line or just ever so smugly not even acknowledge there was a line and just walk in front of everyone. Mormons can be crazy! We made our way to the front and started asking people if their seats were saved and both days we found 2 seats right up front. It was awesome.
The best thing about the weekend was getting to spend it with my sister from another mother. We had a great time together. That last picture of me with the wide eyes was because Emma kept telling me that I was making weird faces in the camera and that my eyes were too open so I said, "What? Am I doing this?" haha
There were a ton of excellent speakers. I came away filled with hope because there are other people living even more committed lives than I am. In fact Elaine S Dalton and Emily Freeman both said something that I have been trying to pay special attention to. They both said in almost the same words something like this: "when I want to be inspired and guided by the spirit I have to be especially careful. I have to be mindful of everything I listen to, watch and interactions I have with people so that I don't do anything that offends the spirit." That was 2 witnesses to add to my own. I have given up a lot of music and television and I only read spiritual books with an occasional political one. I'm trying hard not to engage in inappropriate conversations or activities. It's something that you have to work hard at because it is super easy not to. It is also something that not a lot of people understand. They think you are becoming un-relatable or too uptight. If you read this blog you know this about me, but the causal personal encounter wouldn't know unless they are paying attention. It's not like I go around telling everyone what I don't do. I think I am known for my temple attendance and family history work though and hopefully my love for the gospel.
I may be getting more sappy or it may be a manifestation of the inner turmoil that I have been going through lately, but one speaker actually made me cry. There were 2 things she said that hit me in the heart. It was Emily Watts and I love her. She is so talented and funny and she's another person I look up to. She talked about learning to embrace the manna plan. Learning to rely on the Savior every single day. My physical ailments have had me down again and when I try to imagine my future continuing on this path it overwhelms me. When I try to look too far into the future of my kids' lives and if I've done enough, it overwhelms me. When I see the path we are heading towards as a country, it overwhelms me. So when she said "take today, just do today." It reminded me to let go. I can do today and that's all that matters. The other thing that really touched me in the heart was when she was talking about writing her talk for the conference. Life got crazy and all she had were pieces of a talk that she couldn't figure out how to pull together. Finally in desperation and pleading she heard "why don't you just take the pieces. You bring what you've got and I'll do the rest." I forget to let the Lord help me sometimes. I'm so good at being self reliant and doing all that I can that I forget that I can't do it alone. I want everything to be perfect and that's not what's needed sometimes.
One last thing that hit me that I already knew. It's funny how you know something but then a moment of clarity opens up your view and you know that same thing better. Back to my physical ailments. I'm now going to also add all my faults that I'm trying and usually failing at fixing. The trial of life that can sometimes drag us down. We just need a reframe sometimes. Clarity. When Hillary was singing a song I've heard and loved and was touched by many times, this time this phrase hit me personally. A little personal message. "The price I paid to see this view." Like I mentioned it's something that I've known. I know that we each have to go through our own personal gethsemane. This time, however, I felt it and understood it and I needed the reminder and strength to carry on.
Sometimes life gets really hard. Raising kids in truth and righteousness is hard work. Changing your heart is hard work. Sometimes it feels as if you are doing everything wrong. Hopefully if you find yourself feeling down you've got someone in your life that can remind you to "stay the course" like my loving husband did for me today.
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