Self Esteem

I had one of those times yesterday when the lesson that I had prepared to teach in seminary is not the lesson I gave.  Actually I knew right after I got done writing out all my notes for the lesson that it didn't work.  It's not that it wasn't a good lesson, it's just that it wasn't going in the direction that it needed to go.  All I knew for sure was that I needed to talk about Patriarchal blessings.  One of the cool things about the Doctrine and Covenants is that it contains a bunch of -essentially- patriarchal blessings.  When a new member of the church wanted to know what the Lord wanted them to do they would go ask Joseph Smith, he would inquire of the Lord and then that answer became a section in the Doctrine and Covenants.  We have been calling attention to all the "if/then" statements contained in those answers.  If you do this (obey doctrine or a commandment) then I will do this (covenant to bless).  It's the doctrine and covenants -pretty cool right?    In section 130 we learn: 20 There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated—21 And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated.  The problem comes when you don't hold up your end of the covenant -obeying the commandment or doctrine.  That covenant becomes "void and of none effect" 54:4

We recently learned about the shakers and their inability to let go of their traditions and beliefs.  We learned about Ezra Thayre  having a hard time obeying revelation that was given to him.  This ability to let go is just a big of problem for us mortals.  I see it as a disconnect.  The inconsistency of the person we say we are and the person we really are.  "Let us once and for all establish our residence in Zion and give up the summer cottage in Babylon." Neil A Maxwell.  We say we want Zion.  We say we want eternal life but then our actions are not consistent with that goal.  We want to get there without the sacrifice.  We want the covenant without any actual work on our part.

This disconnect is something that I have been spending some time pondering about.  I notice it everywhere.  Am I saying that I am exempt?  Above being disconnected? Ha!  I am working toward being more consistent though.  We are all at different levels in our journey and we need to love everyone for where they are at.  I just find it interesting the behaviors gospel minded people are willing to engage in and celebrate while saying that they are on another path.  When you look at those sections in the D and C you see not only how quick to forgive the Lord is, but also how quick to revoke blessings.  When you think about everything we have in this world to distract us from being righteous and then look at how seemingly little those saints had to tempt them you wonder how it was that they could have been so tempted into evil.  They are getting all geared up for Zion in Missouri and then...dun dun dun.   D Todd Christofferson addressees this very thing when he said:

“Much of the work to be done in establishing Zion consists in our individual efforts to become ‘the pure in heart’ (D&C 97:21). ‘Zion cannot be built up unless it is by the principles of the law of the celestial kingdom,’ said the Lord; ‘otherwise I cannot receive her unto myself’ (D&C 105:5). The law of the celestial kingdom is, of course, the gospel law and covenants, which include our constant remembrance of the Savior and our pledge of obedience, sacrifice, consecration, and fidelity.

“The Savior was critical of some of the early Saints for their ‘lustful … desires’ (D&C 101:6; see also D&C 88:121). These were people who lived in a non-television, non-film, non-Internet, non-iPod world. In a world now awash in sexualized images and music, are we free from lustful desires and their attendant evils? Far from pushing the limits of modest dress or indulging in the vicarious immorality of pornography, we are to hunger and thirst after righteousness. To come to Zion, it is not enough for you or me to be somewhat less wicked than others. We are to become not only good but holy men and women. Recalling Elder Neal A. Maxwell’s phrase, let us once and for all establish our residence in Zion and give up the summer cottage in Babylon (see Neal A. Maxwell, A Wonderful Flood of Light [1990], 47)” (“Come to Zion,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2008, 38–39).

How does this all tie into self esteem.  The world is looking for self esteem in all of those distractions.  You are looking for external indicators to validate your existence.  True self esteem can only come as a direct result of our obedience to the commandments.  That obedience gives us confidence.  The entire world could be telling you that you are crazy or of no value but when you have the promised protection and blessings from the Lord all the worldly voices get drowned out because you know who you are and who's you are and nothing else matters.  That ability to align your will to Heavenly Fathers gives you the confidence to defy the consensus because His opinion of you is the only one that matters.  

How do you get to this level of self worth?  I believe one of the keys was found in Elder Carlos A Godoy's talk at General Conference titled, "The Lord Has a Plan for Us!"  

He quoted president Uchtdorf in that talk by saying : “Through years of serving the Lord … , I have learned that the difference between happiness and misery in individuals, in marriages, and families often comes down to an error of only a few degrees” 

The small decisions matter.  A lot!  I mentioned in my last post about having to be very careful not to offend the spirit if you want guidance and illumination in your life.  If you want to receive revelation you've got to be willing to sacrifice.  What kind of sacrifice?  Go back to that quote above about lustful desires.  How much time are we spending in the pursuit of trivial things.  This is where our Patriarchal blessings come in.  Elder Goday said this: “if you continue to live as you are living, will the blessings promised in your patriarchal blessing be fulfilled?”  Then he added a little later a quote from a talk that changed my life by Elder Dallin H Oaks: “As we consider various choices, we should remember that it is not enough that something is good. Other choices are better, and still others are best” 

Where does this leave us?  You can start by pulling out that blessing you received.  If you haven't received one yet, now's the time.  Ask yourself what is keeping you from getting one and then make a plan.  For my son we had to reframe the question by asking "is there any reason I shouldn't get one?" Because he didn't know how to tell if he was ready or not.  I can tell you that I'm not sure you are ever really ready for.  It's like marriage and kids.  Is anyone ever really ready to be married or have kids?  You think you might be, but you have no clue.  Sometimes you've just got to jump in and trust.  

Here's what I did with mine -without telling you the specifics of the blessing.  First and foremost you have to understand that the Lord isn't going to string a bunch of fancy magical words that have never been uttered before for.  Not gonna happen.  If you have done any serious reading in the standard works you know that he says the same things to everyone over and over and over again.  When I realized that little fact it opened up my understanding and how I felt about my own blessing.  One of my favorite examples of this realization is found in D and C sections 15 & 16.  It was essential the same exact blessing for brothers John and Peter Whitmer.  The Lord let us know that although he had the same things to tell each of them they were in fact separate individuals that deserved equal attention and direction from Him.  Thus he gave them each their own blessing instead of saying that it was for them to share.  

Now that we understand where we are starting from, here is what I did with mine.  I broke it down into:

What I need to know

What I need to do

What blessings I will receive

What do I feel I've seen the fruit of

Is there something I need to change to have those blessings fulfilled

What goes into each of those categories is entirely your own interpretation.  My kids teased me back when Emma was getting hers because they thought mine had all been fulfilled -um still here so nope!  Doing this exercise helped me to see just how many blessings have come to pass -which a lot of them happened in the last 4-5 years.  The person who went in for that blessing and the person I am today is -I don't want to say totally different because I'm still me.  So I'll say - I stared out good and became better (a more committed disciple) and the best version of myself is yet to come!  I have a renewed confidence that I am becoming who I am supposed to be and I just need to stay the course.  

My teaching companion did this exercise after I went over it with the class yesterday and she reported back today.  She told the class how she always thought her blessing was so short, but when she did this she realized how packed it was with things for her to do and blessings she would receive and what was still left to accomplish.  

One last quote to bring this all home.  It is from yet another conference talk.  Have I mentioned how much I love conference?  BTW my family still has not turned in their favorite quotes for the quote wall and I haven't given them a hard time because every time I think I picked thee quote that will determine my course for the next 6 months, I find another one.  I'll commit to one sooner or later.  Anyway this last quote is from Elder Larry S Kacher called "Trifle Not with Sacred Things." Heavenly Father has blessed us with the supernal gift of the Holy Ghost to guide our choices. He has promised us inspiration and revelation as we live worthy to receive such. I invite you to take advantage of this divine gift and examine your choices by asking yourself the question, “Are my decisions firmly planted in the rich soil of the gospel of Jesus Christ?” I invite you to make whatever adjustments are needed, whether small or large, to ensure the eternal blessings of Heavenly Father’s plan for you and those you love."