I was having a purge kinda day today. When this happens I just start chucking stuff. I was a bit sporadic today so I was in my bedroom closet, my office and some drawers that I stuff stuff in, in my bedroom. I came across this talk I gave in sacrament around 8 years ago. It's fun to go back and see what I was thinking about and to see the structure of my talk. There are definitely some changes I would make today, but the message is pure. Oh how it made me miss Neal A Maxwell. He spoke my language (although you would never know it by the way I write)
On my recent trip to Utah I came home with yet another piece of artwork. This one was an inspiration piece about the trials of our nations founding. I love historical art and church art. One could even argue that I have an addiction. Reading over this talk made me evaluate how much I took this talk to heart.
I had 2 semi-recent events come to mind. The first one occurred when I found out my neighbor was a non-active member of my church. I had many encounters with her over a year and a half time frame and had my suspicions that she was once a member, but never brought it up. I was the youngest mother of 4 with 2 teenagers in my neighborhood group who didn't drink coffee at coffee mondays. No one ever took it farther even though I even brought up BYU- which usually seals the deal in peoples minds after all the other evidence.
Well, I was in the RS at the time and the president wanted to go and visit this person. I asked her to let me talk to her first so that she didn't think that I had been lying in wait this whole time to sick the church on her. I was having the hardest time trying to figure out how I wanted to go about this. Try and get her alone after the bus stop, show up at her house all official like, I didn't know and it was stressing me out. Finally I decided that it was the day it was going to happen. I said a prayer and told the Heavenly Father that I wasn't sure what he wanted me to do or say but my feet were going to walk over to her house and if he wanted to stop me he should. (little secret, I'm a big chicken and I kinda had the suspicion that she wasn't home when I made this declaration. I seriously thought I could trick Heavenly Father. Oh man, I'm funny sometimes)
She wasn't home. Phew. But, a strange thing happened at the bus stop that afternoon. She had decided to drive her car and everyone scattered after the kids arrived (which never happens, we stand around gabbing forever). It was just me standing at her car. No getting out of it now. I knew what I had to do, no tricks. I know I sounded ridiculous. Because what does one say in that kind of situation that doesn't sound ridiculous. She fortunately thought I was funny trying so hard to get out of my mouth what I wanted to ask her (there was no words magically put into my mouth-probably pay back for earlier-haha). I think I said something to the effect that I wondered if she knew I was a Mormon. She laughed and said she had some pretty strong suspicions but when she had come to my house for a birthday party all doubt was removed. My house screams that I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
I had an experience later with a medical equipment rep that had come to the house to deliver a device that I needed for my neck. Living with this neck of mine is so much fun. He had that typical LDS guy look about him. I can't really describe it but he looked like one. I didn't bring it up though. At the end when I was signing some papers he asked me what ward I was in. I about choked on my spit. How was he so sure as to ask me my ward? I played it cool incase somehow I was supposed to already know from my husband that he was a member. (which the 2 had never talked about. My husband wasn't sure if he knew that he was before this happened) I was telling the girls at the bus stop and I just got laughed at again. Of course he knew with certainty, he was, after all, standing in my house. Sometimes I am so blond.
The moral of the stories is that my house is a perfect reflection of who we are as a family and what is important to us. There is no room for doubt. I do need to work harder on civility in my home though. I treat strangers nicer than my family sometimes and I need to be better. Making my home a place of refuge and learning is a constant work in progress, though I feel like I am making strides in the right direction. I guess that talk sunk so deep into my heart that I made changes and moved toward that goal and didn't even remember how I got on the path. More evidence for why you should be keeping a journal.
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