Cracking the Code

As I have been reading this book about understanding the Lord's language, it's got me thinking about codes.  How the key to understanding someone is to understand their code- their value system.

For example:

Say someone needed to borrow your vehicle.  Before the keys are turned over, the terms are agreed upon.  The terms were date and time for it to be returned.

The lenders value code- return the car on the day and time.  Adhering to my code lets me know that you respect the gesture, you respect and value my time and you are a person of your word.

Now on the day and time, negotiations for the terms to be changed start coming in.  The borrower begins to reveal their value system.

The borrowers value code - I am late meeting the terms because I wanted to wash the vehicle and get gas in the vehicle.  This is done to most likely mask something else going on with why the terms can't be met.  To make up for this, something is offered up as extra to show appreciation.  Acts of gratitude were placed as a higher value than meeting the terms.  Thus making it impossible in the borrowers eyes for the lender to be upset because there is great value placed on what they are doing.  You are not both operating on the same value code, so neither party is happy with each other.  

When you understand someones value code, you can understand them better and more effectively communicate.

I was telling my kids about this new understanding I had.  I asked my 2 oldest what they thought of this.  My 16 year old daughter said.  "If you want to do something nice or extra, make sure it is before the time you agreed to, don't change the terms."  Sweet, my 16 year old understands this principle.

The way for the borrower to get the desired effect they are looking for, in going out of their way to show gratitude, would be to first meet the terms.  Now you've set yourself up for awesomeness.  You first met the terms and then dazzled with your extra acts of gratitude.  The next time you ask, you will be 10x more likely to get another yes because you honored the higher law.

The real trick is what to do with this code.  Unfortunately I don't have the answer.   Just understanding it helps to keep me from beating my head against a wall.  Effectively communicating this to someone is another matter for which I do not posses the skill set.

My mind is drawing a blank on examples from the scriptures where Heavenly Father asked someone to do something and they decided that they needed to do something different.  Heavenly Father said something like, that's great but go and do what I asked you to.  Anyway.....Obedience is the higher law.  Meeting the terms to an agreement is being obedient to those terms.  It's the higher law.

If I were a super awesome blogger I would search out some articles and scriptures, but I'm lazy.  Besides, it is much better to discover something on your own and it's more meaningful anyway.  I'm just throwing out there something to think about.....which probably made no sense at all. :0)