My Active Subconscious

I had a dream last night that was so odd, that when I woke up I thought that I should immediately write it down.  I scratched a few notes on paper so I wouldn’t forget.  

For some reason I was attending a meeting at a housing project.  When I entered the building the President (current one) asked me if I would address the group.  I said yes because saying no wasn’t an option and then I began to panic.  My husband kept reassuring me that I would do fine and would be able to come up with something to say.  I was still hyperventilating because the reality of my nothingness was beginning to set in. What do I know about housing projects?  What do I know about how to fix things?  All I know is there is a better way and the only thing that will help people make a better life for themselves is the gospel of Jesus Christ.  People needed empowerment.  How could I say that in front of that audience....especially “Mr Spread the Wealth.”   I decided the only thing I could do was take my family outside and across the lawn and kneel down in prayer right there in the open.  I needed divine help.  Why we didn’t go find a closet or something is unclear, but there we were on the lawn kneeling in prayer.  

While we were kneeling there, the President and a couple of his posse started to approach.  I have no idea what they were saying only the way I felt about it.  I don’t know if he just had something to tell me about my speech and didn’t realize what we were doing or if it had something to do with either praying in public or praying in general.  What was most upsetting is that it was clear by anyone who has ever prayed what exactly we were doing and should have been given the respect not to interrupt.  I do remember what I said, it was; “have you no respect for privacy?”  Him and his men smugly smiled, shrugged their shoulders and walked away.  He was trying his best to make me feel stupid.  There was a man on a walk that was walking between my family and him and he looked shocked.  I couldn’t make out what was shocking him though.  Was it that we were praying in public, my standing up to the president, the presidents lack of knowledge regarding sacred things.  I wasn’t sure and I realized that it didn’t matter.  

The situation did nothing to calm my nerves, it only intensified them and testified to me of the reality of the situation I was about to enter into.  I was not among friends, but I had to do it anyway.  

I never saw myself give the speech in my dream.  It morphed from there into me traveling to different locations wondering each time if that was the place I was supposed to give it.  Whenever there were only a few people in attendance I would get hopeful that was the time,  so the fewest amount of people could witness the disaster of my speech and there would be less people to run from.    

It was about 5 am when I woke up from that dream.  When I drifted off back to sleep I had a dream about a SIL that wasn’t going on a church history tour, but a canning facilities tour.  I was intrigued that I had never thought of such a trip.  I went along for one and the only thing I remember that made any sense is that I was upset that I didn’t have my ipad for taking notes, so I found some paper and a pen and was ready to write down every important thing that I needed to know or remember.  The only thing I wrote down was that there was a canning index that I needed to get.   Then it got all weird and the surroundings were weird and I ended up running into Jack Black and I asked him about his kids and fatherhood.  Talk about a dream brain dump.