We did it, we finally had the dream trip I've been wanting to take for years. Now that it's over, I'm pretty sad, especially when we hit NM and all the nothingness that is here. Focusing on the positives, we'll start here:
We started off our trip by attending the sacrament meeting of the local ward. It started at 10am and I was having thoughts of bailing on the idea when the thunder started and the winds picked up and the rain came pouring down. We were in the RV, so we knew we were going to have to park a ways out. We had visions of a leisurely bike ride through the countryside when we loaded all the bikes on the back of the RV in preparation for our trip (they never left the rack).
We eventually talked ourselves into putting on our church clothes and venturing out into the great outdoors. The rain had slowed down by the time we left for church so it really wasn't that bad. The sacrament meeting was fabulous and we got to hear one of the best youth speakers ever give a talk about commitment and how you spend your time. Awesome. We were wondering how many people were there visiting like us because it was pretty full. We could kind of determine by who raised their hands to sustain some new church callings that were being brought before the congregation. We didn't end up being as awesome as I'd wanted to be by staying for all 3 hours. I reminded my family of the talk 2 general conferences ago about that very thing, but they were unmoved. We at least attended sacrament - which we usually don't do...so, baby steps were accomplished.
After church it was still raining but I wanted a picture in front of the temple (you can see it way in the background ) because I didn't know when we would do it again and we were already dressed nicely. They were having none of it, so the best I could do was get one right before they hopped in the RV. Anytime you see a picture of us looking like a nice happy family who is loving being on vacation and having their picture taken - look at these and you'll know what it looked like before I talked them into smiling for the picture. BTW - I was totally trying to cheat by standing on the curb to make myself look taller than Jared.
While we were traveling around I would jot down some thoughts so they were fresh and in the moment. So, the rest of this post is going to start looking like journal entries because it is. I did have to fill in some details, so some of it is recounting now that I'm home.
Sitting in the RV in Nauvoo state park (this picture is actually at the visitors center) after attending sacrament meeting . It has been pouring down rain. Nate is filling up the water tank so we can make the trip to Carthage this afternoon. The kids are outside collecting leaves and enjoying the beautiful surroundings. Watson is sitting on my lap and I'm listening to "Grace" by Steven Sharp Nelson. It is the perfect music for sitting in Nauvoo. The novel I read by Dean Hughes about the saints in Nauvoo is also being brought to my remembrance. I'm picturing life here when the church was in it's infancy. Where the trials of being a saint were great. I find myself weeping. I know with a surety like unto Elder Hollands from this last conference that the church is true -and all that goes with that- and that God lives - more than I know that I am sitting here at the computer typing this and you are sitting there reading this. What a rich heritage we have and a rich responsibility to carry out the commitment of being a disciple of Jesus Christ and sacrificing ALL to carry forth His redeeming work unto everyone.
Just visited Carthage Jail. What a somber experience. The pathological picture taker in me couldn't manage to take a single picture in the jail. It just didn't feel right. It felt too sacred. I did touch the original door to the jail room where Joseph and Hyrum lost their lives. It still has the bullet holes from the mob attacking. It was raining on that hot summer day in June just as it is raining here today - just not as hot.
When we returned to Nauvoo and had just an hour to check out some of the historical sites. We had the place pretty much to ourselves. It was fun to see some of the families we saw at church earlier that morning there with us. We even saw the same families in Carthage. When you are the only family visiting the sites, you get to take all the time you want and find out about the missionary couple that are in that site. It was fun to get to know the people serving and what's it's like to serve a mission here and not just the historical stuff.
We experienced a bit of divine providence when Emma insisted that with the time we had we must go to the printing office first. We arrived to find our old friends giving the tutorial. What an exciting reunion. We found out that they only work there 2 Sundays a month, so we really did get lucky, especially because they were just about to close. The world just keeps getting smaller and smaller. The kids were excited to learn about the printing press because their great great great great grandfather, William Wines Phelps was a printer. He had a printing press in Independence, but not here in Nauvoo, although he did live here. We went to the land records office and found on a map the 4 places he lived while he was there.
After a spiritually uplifting Sunday we finished the day off by reading about our ancestor. We are inspired every time we read the account of WW Phelps asking for forgiveness from the prophet for all the harm and wrong that was done to not only him, but the saints as well and the most amazing letter of forgiveness given him by the prophet stating that he frankly forgave him. It fits in so well with my theme of all hope never being lost. We then sang "Praise to the Man"- which was written by him. What a powerful experience. I can only hope that it was as powerful to my children. Sunday nights are my night to pray so I ended the day with a heartfelt prayer of gratitude. My kids always get a little grumpy when it's my turn to pray because they know it's going to take awhile. One of the sweetest things Jared has said to me (he seems to be saying sweet things often to me) is the next morning I was talking back on the bed with Nate about the book I just finished by Bednar. I was sad about my lack of commitment to how often I pray and I wanted to do a better job. I was telling him that I kept getting busted by his Dad while visiting for conference over not blessing my food. Jared decided to join the conversation. He said something like, "Mom, it's quality verses quantity and you've got quality. What good is it to say a million meaningless prayers when you say more in 1 prayer than most people say in a lot of little ones." Do I have a great kid or what? I remind myself of this when we start getting into religious and scientific debates throughout the day.
A couple of days before we embarked on our journey we found out that the temple was going to be closed. This made me really sad. I had saved some family names so the older 2 could do some baptisms in the temple and get to experience being in the Nauvoo temple. Finding this out made me almost want to cancel the trip. It was a huge part of the experience for me. Nate offered to drive all night on Friday to get me to the temple by 4 on Saturday for the last session. I loved that he offered, but I couldn't do that to him. I figured that it just wasn't meant to be and whatever my family was going to get out of the trip did not include the temple and that was "the plan" and so it was ok.
Running into our friends in the post office proved beyond divine when I received a call that there was a way for Nate and I to be able to go to the temple. We could go as volunteers for cleaning from 8-10pm that night (mon night). Initially I was a little bummed but then I thought, service is service and so what did it matter what I was doing. I also realized that I would most likely get to see areas that I wouldn't have seen had I been on a session. I also found out that some other friends from home were here also and were gong to go clean as well. The only problem we had was that I wasn't sure what to do about getting there. Should we drive the RV and have the kids just hang out without being plugged into the electrical and no satellite or should I try to hop a ride. Well, our friends, the missionaries, offered to drop off their truck, so our problem was solved. Sister B also found out that our other mutual friends didn't have church clothes so she went to DI and got them everything they needed and watched their kids for them. Talk about above and beyond. Angel status amazing is what sister B is!
The work was not difficult for my friend, D, and I - but the men got stuck in the laundry room pulling up the sport court floor and scrubbing it down. That was serious work and my husband was wondering what I had gotten him into- I'm sure trying very hard not to use swear words while in the temple. I just vacuumed and dusted out some wood closets. The vacuuming did entail using the hose attachment to get around every single bolted down chair so it wasn't easy breezy, but it wasn't difficult. It turned out to be the best thing ever. We got a private tour of the temple and even got to go all the way up the tower. It is a beautiful temple with such a rich history. I won the lottery tonight for sure. Luckily Nate was equally happy and not in the mood to kill me because he said "that's why I stick with you, wherever you go there are miracles." I am truly loved. Both my friend and I were heartbroken over not being able to be here while the temple was open and we were able to put our little mark on the temple by cleaning it. I got to take pride in making sure everything looked the best it could for the Lord's house.
I also got to talk with my friend, D, who I haven't really talked to since we moved. We got to share spiritual experiences that we've had and I got to hear about a plan her and her husband came up with in their ward to help all the ym go out on missions. They are having a study group in their home every Sunday night and it is well attended. It is going really well, and it got me thinking about some things that I've been wanting to do in my own ward. The Lord can accomplish so many purposes at one time - it's crazy!
One of our favorite things to do was go on the wagon and carriage rides. The wagon ride was through town and the carriage was through the countryside. The 2 elders on the carriage ride were fantastic - especially the one telling all the inspirational stories. It was super windy and freezing cold, but to me, this added to the experience. It was easier to imagine the saints packing up their things into a wagon and heading out into the unknown in freezing temperatures. One of my favorite stops was just after "inspiration point" and seeing these scary looking trees with great inspirational stories to go with them.
After that stop we went into this valley that I can't remember what they called it, but it was calm and peaceful. The contrast was easy to feel because of how cold and windy it was until we got to this spot. There was no wind and no sound, just peace. We all joined in and sang "I am a child of God" while we were sheltered from the elements. You would think that with each of us having 2 blankets we would have been nice and toasty, but you would be wrong! It was bone chillingly cold.
My favorite thing about going to all the different historic shops and homes was how the missionaries tied everything back to the gospel. I used the rope making lesson a couple of times throughout the rest of our vacation. We are stronger together. Everything was so good and I loved how we were able to just take our time because it wasn't crowded with people.
Nate, of course, loved the Browning home. I loved how on his rifle he had a plate with "holiness to the Lord." That's awesome. I think that would freak out a good deal of people in the world today. At each of the presentations I realized just how lost we have become. We don't do the simple things in life that remind us of who we are and why we are hear. We aren't making clay pots that we have to keep centered on the wheel to remind us to live our lives centered in Christ. We aren't making bread everyday to remind us of the bread of life. We don't spend a lot of time thinking about the basic necessities it takes to keep us alive. We don't take care of things and treat them as prized possessions especially something as basic as our shoes (unless we are idolizing them for their beauty and fashion). It was no easy thing to have a pair of shoes and we take that completely for granted. I can sit here at my computer and zip out pages and pages of written material that would take a week to print. Joseph's brother died because of working in a damp basement on a printing press. We need to remember the basics and get back to what really matters and recognize the value that "ordinary" people who work hard doing jobs we turn our noses up at. They are the ones who really have knowledge - at least the only knowledge that matters.
One of the last things we did in Nauvoo was go over to the temple and get some pictures. As I sit here looking at the pictures I have an ache in my heart to return. I can't believe we are back home already. We also went to dinner with the 2 other families from home that we ran into and the missionary couple. It was so fun to be all together in an completely unexpected place.
On our way to Independace we were going to stop in Hannibal to visit Mark Twain historical sites but the river boat tour wasn't running on that day so we just skipped it. I really wanted to stop at Adam-ondi-Ahman even though it's just a field. Nate drove the wrong direction and we were about 20 minutes off course. I didn't want to be the one going an hour out of the way and I knew my kids were getting sick of all the spiritual stuff so I just pouted in the back of the RV. Nate and the kids decided it was worth it to drive over there to make me happy, so we did. The kids can't have all the fun pouting all the time, it was my turn. heehee When we got there we ran into another family that we kept seeing around Nauvoo, too funny. They were headed home as well, but to Snowflake, AZ. They actually were in the ward with a friend Nate went to medical school with. It is a small church world! Well, as expected.....the weather was horrible. The kids weren't in the mood for pictures, but we did it. We stood in "the spot" (at least in the general vicinity) where Adam died. If the weather had been better we could have enjoyed a picnic there, but we did eat lunch back in the RV overlooking the place. We read some information about it and sang the corresponding song.
We spent some time in Liberty and got to visit the reconstructed jail that JS spent 6 months in. Personally, I liked Carthage better, probably because it was the actual building. Although, the actual floor is still there from the jail, but the rest is recreated.
We then went to Independence and spent some time in the visitor center. We had a great Sister Missionary as a tour guide. My only complaint is that she talked a little too much. We were a little burnt out on historical facts by that point because each stop along the way talks about the same history. The most important video presentation we wanted to see about our ancestor WW Phelps, she talked thru and the next group was ready so we didn't even get to see it. A little bummed, but she was super cute so we forgave her. We also watched a video about families that I have seen somewhere else. I can't for the life of me remember though, I guess we've been to too many church places lately. It was a progressive video presentation- meaning that you moved from one staged room to another as the video went through different phases of family relationships. When we walked into the last room there was a box of Kleenex sitting on the bench and Jared pulled one out and said, "you're probably going to need this." I guess he knows me well. The sister asked each of us our thoughts on video. When it was my turn, I couldn't speak. It brought back to me all the feelings I was having when I joined the church. For me it was all about the eternal nature of families and what was possible to achieve in this life in regards to starting my own family - and there I was watching a video about eternal families with my own eternal family. I made the poor sister missionary cry.
We went and checked out the Community of Christ temple and some other historical sites. The weather was awful and we were freezing our bums off. Their temple has a seashell shaped spire with a light on it at night that looks like a homing beacon for the mother ship " While we took the spirit walk (or something like that) Jared said: "this is like the UN of religion." I guess that would be a pretty accurate assessment of what they are and stand for. I don't understand it at all as far as the relationship to that church and the reorganized church of Jesus Christ. To make it even more confusing there are all sorts of off shoots around town with the old label and new ones like "remnant church of Jesus Christ" and "church of Jesus Christ" and some even weirder connection to the "Church of Christ". All claiming their connection to JS. I wanted to find someone to talk to in each of them to figure out what they were all about and what they were claiming - but my husband was worried I would offend people with my direct questions. While we were walking the streets seeing all of these buildings and the "Stone Church" that JS the 3rd built while he was their president I stopped and was finally able to identify the feelings that I was having. It must have been similar to JS when he was going around to all the rival tents trying to figure out which church to join. Which church had proper authority. I didn't like the feeling at all. While we were in Nauvoo and touring the sites owned by the Community of Christ I just felt sad. I felt sorrow for Emma and her family and it made me more curious to find out what happened. They were Mormons living in nauvoo after the exodus. How were they treated? I'm curious about what ever happened to Sydney Rigdon, what they did until JS the 3rd was old enough to become their first president, how much is the same and why they merged with the community of Christ and what about all those splinters and what kind of authority are they claiming. I also think that if the ordain women are so hot to trot for the priesthood, they should just join up with the community of Christ. Seems like a perfect fit to me. I guess that's not how opposition works though, is it? They're not looking for something that fits their beliefs they are looking to destroy someone else's. This experience raised some excellent questions by my teenagers. Especially seeing the paintings of women giving blessings. The entire trip was full of great conversations.
I can't even imagine what it was like to be living during the organization of the church and then the many times they were forced out of their homes and lively hoods and then having the prophet martyred and opposition over who held the keys to continue the work. How did the saints manage all that chaos and confusion. How did they know who to follow. How did they decided if it was worth it to follow their beliefs. How do you know today who to follow. It's the same answer for both. It's not enough to pray to Heavenly Father. You've got to have a relationship with him. You've got to do his will and his work to know him or you wont know what to do and who to follow and you surely wont have the faith to pack up your things or to sacrifice all and give up all your sins to be in the arms of his safety and protection and be worthy to receive every blessing and promise he has to give. We need the gospel of Jesus Christ so we will not be led astray and down dark paths because it is only getting rougher and we've got nowhere to make an exodus toward. We have to stay where we are. How will we have the strength to say "father forgive them for they know not what they do?" The good news? All the answers were in general conference.
My final thoughts. While standing there in the freezing cold looking at the view the saints had while waiting to cross the river (it was much smaller then) I thought of my life. Could I sacrifice all I had for the gospel. Would I have the faith required to go forward into the unknown. I realized that I am attached to nothing of any material value. If we had to live the rest of our lives with only the things we packed in our modern day wagon (the rv) I could be very happy. The only things I would miss would be some of the artwork and books I have at home and my "small plates" (my journal and this blog in print form). I might have thought seriously about sending my kids back for our small plates. The more I write here the more I realize that my audience truly is my children and their children and on into eternity - I mean, who else would be committed enough to be reading this and probably not even all of them.
My biggest challenge is staying put. I imagine much like those saints that were called upon to stay behind to help everyone else get ready or to move to stopping points along the trail and live there for years to help people. For me, I feel like the staying is the harder part. I want to go and do and the Lord keeps telling me to stay and do. I just haven't figured out what that is yet. Who likes being ordinary? When I'm getting too prideful I always think of the contact commercial that had the guy saying "but I have special eyes." Oh, that makes me laugh. The Lord needs an army full of seemingly ordinary people living the gospel extraordinarily - not living extraordinary lives by the worlds standards. I decided to read the BOM on one of the missionary copies and mark up everything that has to do with pride. Hopefully it will work toward changing my heart.
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