“To ‘come after him’ is but another way of saying, ‘Keep my commandments,’ for thus he had explained it when he said to the Nephites: ‘Therefore, what manner of men ought ye to be?’ And then he answered his own question, ‘Verily I say unto you, even as I am.’ (3 Nephi 27:27.)
“To become ‘fishers of men’ is just another way of saying ‘become leaders of men.’ So in today’s language we would say to those who are so to teach: ‘If you will keep my commandments, I will make you leaders among men.’” (Harold B. Lee in CR, Oct. 1960, p. 15.)
Since this desire to make myself a more perfect servant, I have been slowly discovering what I am capable of as a literal daughter of God. What could I become if I trusted more fully in my Heavenly Father and sought to do His will. He, after all, is my creator and father, he who knows all. I've talked about it before, but I decided to embark on an experiment. Like unto Alma 32 :27 But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than adesire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words. This is no easy process to take on. The refiners fire is hot and it hurts to get imperfections pounded out. I have held myself back from this for years thinking that I would become un-relatable to people, or just feeling scared of what my potential really was. It's like being scared to pray for patience because you know you are going to get a bunch of trials that will help you be more patient. I finally decided that I was being silly and wasting precious time.
One of the things that I am really struggling with right now is justice vs mercy. I got a great dose of justice from reading the OT and I've been trying to figure out how and when to apply mercy. I'm trying so hard to figure out what it means to " 9 ... stand asc witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the dfirst resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—" Mosiah 18
What this looks like in 2 examples that happened this weekend.
Before I left, I was looking on the time suck site fb. What I have been getting tired of seeing is stuff by "so called" members of my church espousing false doctrine. There really isn't anything that gets me more fired up. I was debating saying something because I just couldn't sit by and see it happen without saying something. Problem is this. "A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still" -Benjamin Franklin. I couldn't find a way to say what I wanted without it turning contentious. I can't find that loving helpful tone that builds bridges and brings understanding and persuasion. Frustrated with my lack of skill and obvious anger over the situation, I just backspaced over everything I said and walked away. I'm smart enough to know that nothing I say will change this persons mind. I've just always worried about others who watch these conversations and the possibility of someone being mislead.
Situation 2 happened while in AZ in my friend's ward (church). It was a fast and testimony meeting and it didn't appear to be going well. I was looking at these fellow members and the shallow things that were being said and thinking that I was glad I didn't live there. I had the distinct impression as I was thinking about this that it was because I hadn't served them. If I were serving them I would see past the flaws. My bad.
Next we go into Sunday school. Now, I'm about to air my "ugly" here. I think it is beneficial and I am all about honesty, so here goes....My first impression of the teacher was not a good one. You're going to think I am highly judgmental (insert scripture about judging), but here goes. This was a man in his mid to late 40's wearing skinny electric blue pants. To church. To teach. Most men wear suits, it's the respectful, reverent, priesthood holder thing to wear to church. If not a suit, slacks, a white shirt and tie. So my immediate thought was "oh boy, here we go."
Next thing to happen was that he said that he wasn't going to teach the lesson. If we wanted to know about doctrine and covenants 131 (about celestial marriage) we should go home and read it. doctrine and covenants is the entire point of sunday school this year, sooooooo......alrighty. I'm trying to decide how much to share because I don't want this to become about this person or the specifics of the lesson. Basically, no doctrine was used. He did use some secular video and book to get across his message, not a single scripture was used or doctrinal perspective. Which is fine and I'm happy to delve into, although not in a church setting. I kept thinking that I was getting what he was trying to say and at any moment he was going to pull this all back in....but he didn't....not even a little.
The entire turmoil I was having was trying to decipher my feelings. Was I mad and wanting to correct the course because I was being inspired to, or was it my own zealot feelings of standing for truth? I kept wondering how I could bring up a scripture and correct course without sounding like I was chastising. Did Heavenly Father want me to fight this battle? It wasn't my ward. The bishop's wife was in the class. All I had was my own knowledge of truth and light and didn't know if it was appropriate to share it, mostly because I was too angry at this point. I had the spirit of contention coursing through my veins.
What was most surprising is that no one else seemed to notice or care. Maybe they did and they, like me, just didn't know what to say. At one point I about raised my hand to quote the handbook about church authorized material. Nate was practically sitting on my lap to keep me from making a scene.
Was I being lead to do good?
12 And now, verily, verily, I say unto thee, put your
I wish I had a more perfect answer, but NO was what it was on this day. What was really cool is that when we got back home, one of my favorite bloggers wrote a post about this very thing. He has some great insights and I was so thankful that someone could put words to the struggles I am having. He is a man, who is Mormon and is middle aged. I would link the post here, but then people might actually find this silly little blog of mine and that is no bueno. He talked about heat vs light and passion vs enlightenment. His post does a much better job of describing the "why" of getting it right and how to do it, with all kinds of scriptural references. :0)
There are so many of us, as individuals, having common lessons and life experiences that are preparing us for the challenges that lie ahead. That evidence alone is reassuring. The converging of this common lesson of love and trust and light is pretty cool to see. I want to resonate light and be a positive example of the love God has for his children. Good is more powerful than evil. The only way to win a war against evil is with love and kindness and goodness and service. We can't win a war against evil using the very tools the enemy does, contention, selfishness, anger and hate. I can't be persuasive and resonate light if I'm about ready to blow a gasket. The key is knowing when to say something, when not to and what to say. I am also coming to realize that the short answer to every problem in life is service.
Do people around you seem shallow? Serve them. Does your spouse get on your last nerve? Serve them. Does your so called Mormon friend not have a clue that they are in the mist of darkness? Serve them. Does someone hate you? Serve them. It's only when you are serving someone that you are capable of having the kind of love for them that allows you to persuade them to be better or to just accept them for who they are and see them for their potential instead of their flaws. It is also the only way to know God's will, because through serving you are following him and becoming like him. Moroni 7 :47 But acharity is the pure blove of Christ, and it endurethcforever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him. btw.....the rest of that chapter talks about judging....in case you were wondering ;)
The greatest example we have of this "pure love of Christ" is found in Mormon 5. Mormon decides to repent against the oath he made to not help the Nephites because of their wickedness. He knew that helping them was hopeless and that everyone was going to die because they would have to suffer the judgments of God, but he picked up his sword and went into battle with his people anyway. Why? Because he loved them. Why? Because he served them.
I've got such a long way to go and so much to learn. I can only hope and pray that people are as kind and patient with me as I'm trying to be with them. As Dieter F Uchtdorf said "don't judge me because I sin differently than you."
This doesn't even go into everything else that is going on in the world. Wars, contentions, the State taking the place of God, but the only person I can change is myself. The only thing I have control of is the lens in which I view the world.
Here's what I'm trying to create. I have to prepare myself to magnify the calling that I've been called to, and to fulfill the mission that Father in Heaven has specifically for me. Then I have to find a way to share what I know so that others will want to partake of the fruit.
In Doctrine and Covenants 88 it says:
77 And I give unto you a commandment that you shall a teach one another the b doctrine of the kingdom.
78 Teach ye diligently and my a grace shall attend you, that you may be b instructed more perfectly in theory, in principle, in doctrine, in the law of the gospel, in all things that pertain unto the kingdom of God, that are expedient for you to understand;
79 Of things both in a heaven and in the earth, and under the earth; things which have been, things which are, things which must b shortly come to pass; things which are at home, things which are abroad; the wars and the perplexities of the c nations, and the judgments which are on the land; and a d knowledge also of countries and of kingdoms—
80 That ye may be prepared in all things when I shall send you again to a magnify the calling whereunto I have called you, and theb mission with which I have commissioned you.
81 Behold, I sent you out to a testify and warn the people, and it becometh every man who hath been warned to b warn his neighbor.
And finally the ultimate goal in Doctrine and Covenants 88:68 Therefore,
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