Baby Steps

The last few times I have been at the physical therapist gym I have had some thoughts.  

I should go over and introduce myself to the woman that I see every time I'm here.  It is silly that we see each other so much and don't know each others names.  

Did I?  Nope.  Why, because I live in my own bubble that's hard to break out of.

Two days later.  There was a man there with an american flag cane.  I thought:

I should go over to him and tell him that I really like his cane.  

Did I?  Nope, when I was trying to make my resolve to do it he walked in the opposite direction and started talking to someone else.  

What is funny is that when I pulled up my phone to check which picture I was going to use for this post, the above picture was there.  How perfect is that?  I definitely failed my challenge.  My son loves to take off with my phone and make all kinds of videos with it, so I'm not surprised to find pictures.  He must have screen shot a message from a game he was playing. 

What was my challenge?  In Moroni 7 we read:

12 Wherefore, all things which are ^agood cometh of God; and that which is ^bevil cometh of the devil; for the devil is an enemy unto God, and fighteth against him continually, and inviteth and enticeth to ^csin, and to do that which is evil continually.

 13 But behold, that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do^agood continually; wherefore, every thing which inviteth and^benticeth to do ^cgood, and to love God, and to serve him, is^dinspired of God. 

I was invited to do good and I couldn't find the courage to do it.  The great thing about the Lord is that he gives you plenty of chances.  He is very patient. 

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before....I seem to have quite a lot to say lately and I can't keep track of it all.  But, in my yw class I've got a warm fuzzy jar.  It was inspired by the talk by President Monson called "What have I done for someone today?"  I love the prophet.  Anyway, we are on our second time filling it up....I actually had to take about half of the warm fuzzies out to take the picture.  I loved the contrast of the gloomy rainy day against the evidence of light. 

I always do everything I ask of the girls so it's not like I haven't been trying and being successful at stepping out of my comfort zone and helping strangers.  Some days I'm better than others.  I can tell you that when I specifically pray to find someone to help, it always happens, although usually not in a way that I would want.  Picky, picky! Sometimes I have to remind myself that I asked for it.  haha  

Our specific warm fuzzy jar gets added to in several ways.  I'm trying to set patterns and connect actions with feeling the love of God....I guess if you're cynical you could call it bribing....I call it establishing patterns.  Those fuzzies represent shared testimonies, giving the lesson, working on pp, helping a stranger, giving a talk, bringing scriptures, being a missionary...things like that and then we talk about them.  

So, I've been trying to do a better job, but for some reason at the gym these people weren't complete strangers because I see them 3 x a week.  Well, I was given another opportunity today.  I missed the first one when one of the men tried to make conversation by giving me a hard time about the color band I was using for my exercise.  We shared a pleasantry, but the headphones went straight back in and I was back in my bubble.  

On my way out I noticed another man with a shirt saying "all gave some, some gave all"  shirt.  I thought; I need to tell him that I like his shirt.  

Hey now, I'm in baby step mode.  I'm a recluse and this is the best I've got!

I said a prayer that I would have the courage to follow through this time and he wouldn't do anything to discourage me.  Let me tell you it was just the comment I needed to open the door to a real and touching exchange with a fine american who reminded me very much of my dad.

When we are willing to step out into what feels like the dark and trust the promptings we receive, you prove yourself worthy to participate in God's work and glory.  Just like my incentivizing with a party warm fuzzy jar, the Lord incentivises by letting you do more of His work.  

It was raining when I got home from pt and wanted to go on a walk.  My littlest one wanted to come along so we waited for it to clear up a bit first.  A couple of blocks into our walk, this old rickety car with a kid (probably early 20's) that looked like he lives a rough life pulled up to us.  He was lost and needed help.   He looked like someone that always messes up and just wanted to do 1 thing right, by the things he said.  He needed to pick up his brother and he was late and lost and out of gas with a car about to break down and no cell phone because it had just been turned off.  He asked for nothing other than directions and looked as if he could start crying.  He kept apologizing to me because I was trying to do some detective work on my phone to help him find his way.  I ended up letting him use my phone to call his brother.  We got everything all figured out and I sent him reassuringly on his way.  He was so grateful.  He said "God bless you"  I don't know how many times.  He even yelled it back to us 2 more times as he drove away.  I don't think he was expecting the level of kindness he received or by the his actions perhaps even feeling worthy of it.

The only thing Jordyn said after he left was; "wow, that wan't in our plan."  Nope, it sure wasn't in our plan, but it was in God's.

I have been doing a lot of wishing lately that I could be doing something else.  That there is something I'm supposed to be doing that I'm not.  That I'm somehow supposed to find a way to be on a mission right now with my family even though that's not mathematically possible and then there's the other little problem of having to be called to such a work :0) This life just seems hard and I don't want to think about the things of the world anymore.  

After this encounter a thought came to me.  

You're on your mission!