This morning while I was reading my scriptures, something happened to me that has never happened before. Tears welled up in my eyes. (I have cried reading my scriptures before but not while regular studying) I am at the betrayal and arrest of Jesus. The tears didn't come at the expected places. The last supper or the suffering in Gethsemane. I was starting to think myself a little cold about the entire thing because I was simply processing information analytically. But when I got to the betrayal by Judas and the build up to the subsequent arrest.....when Simon Peter drew his sword to smite off the ear of the high priest's servant, I was filled with emotion.
Simon Peter was feeling fiercely loyal to the savior. I am a fiercely loyal person to the people I love. The fighter in me comes out and I'm ready for battle. I could feel that about SP. And "then Jesus said to Peter, Put up thy sword into the sheath: the cup which my Father hath given me, shall I not drink it?" John 18:11 I can't remember what book gives the account of Jesus then healing the ear of the servant. Remarkable love and compassion expressed by the Savior.
After all that, what happens to SP next? He denies Christ 3 times. What happened to his loyalty? Maybe he was feeling beaten down. I'm not sure because I can't ask him, but I know that there are times when I'm ready to fight and then in the next moment I'm ready to give up. It's too hard. The consequences feel too great. No one is standing with me. It made me think of, in what ways I have denied Christ. I would say that most of them were probably sins of omission instead of commission. I just stood by instead of standing up.
We may not be walking around in the times of Christ, but we are living in a time where He and His his gospel are on trial. Do we have the attitude of "hey, that's my older brother you are talking about?" Are you willing to stand as a "witness of Him?"
It will be hard to do that. The 12 apostles had a hard time and they were walking and serving and preaching with him. One of the things that struck me the most during the General RS broadcast was the talks about being covenant keepers. If I were really awesome, I would go back and look to quote, but I'm not. But one of the presidency talked about reminding each other when we are keeping our baptismal covenants. (OK, I couldn't take it...I looked it up....It was Sister Stephens talking about her grandson that I was referring to but Sis Burton also talked about covenants) I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since. I decided to make reminding others when I see them keeping covenants part of my life. It is something that we don't think about. We never (OK maybe you're super awesome and do, but I'm not) make the connection to our actions and if they are part of our covenants or not. How can we know if we're on the Lord's side if we don't even know what that looks like in our day to day lives?
I tried it the first time on Monday when my VT came over (luckily they don't know this blog exists). We were talking about the choices of our loved ones and the amazing talks by Jeffery R Holland and Dieter F Utchdorf. One of them, we'll call her C, was emotional and kept apologizing for getting so emotional. She was in pain over the decisions of loved ones in her life. I told her not to apologize because we were just keeping our baptismal covenants by mourning with those who mourn and lifting each others burdens.
Two days later she was still on my mind and I have recently succumb to the british influence of bringing flowers to people. It seems like there are always flowers involved in all the chick flicks I watch. With my recent diet, I've not felt like taking anyone food because I wouldn't want anyone to bring me food. Well, what can you do if you don't bring food? Bring flowers (my fav place to buy them is trader j's). I had to really talk myself into this because I was feeling super cheesy about it. 2 Week before this I had the thought to take flowers to my friend that I have mentioned before about wanting to find a way to pray with her. She has a daughter with a mysterious illness and having a hard time right now. I got over my cheesy feelings and dropped some flowers off to her hoping that she wouldn't think me a weirdo. She loved the gesture. So, now that the band aid was ripped off for giving flowers, I did the same for my VT. I got my 2 youngest kids in on the action so they could be apart of keeping covenants and had them take them to the door with the card. I got a txt from her later saying that she was grateful that I was keeping my covenants.
I keep thinking about all the crazy things going on in the world and the seemingly lack of integrity that so many seem to have.....like the run on Walmart with the EBT situation. The problem is that we aren't teaching each other how to be Christ like. Those that know how, take it for granted that it is common sense how to treat people or how to be honest etc... The fact of the matter is that no one that ever mattered took the time to teach those who would do ill any other way. If those who do know better start making the connection of why we do the things we do and why we are who we are - it will spread.
Don't ever let the fear of being cheesy or, in SP's case, persecuted keep you from following a prompting or doing the right thing. We have to teach each other the doctrines and build and lift each other and remind each other Who's we are and what we've covenanted to do. When we run into those who would do us harm we need to remember who's they are as well, and remind ourselves "Father forgive them for they know not what they do." We need each other. It's the only way we are going to get through this mortal test and Heavenly Father wants all of his children back home with him, not just some of them....so, as much as we'd like to , we can't go around hacking off the ears of the persecutors and nonbelievers, because that wont get them home.
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