Gratitude

There is a line in a song that I find appropriate for this post.  It goes: "I guess we're all one phone call from our knees."  I got one of those calls last night....But before the phone call...

I mentioned that my nieces were over.  Emma is still working on her Honor Bee and I am as well.  Emma had plans for mentoring Megan over the summer as well as another cousin that lives in town and it just never came to fruition.  When I picked up my niece I seized the opportunity and had her bring her PP book with her.  Emma thought it was sweet of me to help her out.  Help her?  I was helping myself. Oh, alright, you can have her... was what I eventually said.  I have plenty of mentoring opportunities built into my calling.  

When we dropped her off, I seized on yet another opportunity.  I'm the merit badge counselor for the Genealogy badge and Jared had yet to interview a relative.  Kamron also works with the Scouts in his ward so he helped him do a great job of interviewing him.  Jared wasn't dressed up especially for the interview.  He was going to a Halloween stake dance dressed as the 11th Doctor (Dr Who, for those not in the know).  His brown sports coat was not on, but it he had it - we found an awesome one at Savers for 11 bucks....Score....he was bummed that we couldn't find some brown leather shoes to complete the outfit, but it was close enough.  

 Nate is out of town hunting elk, my lesson was ready to teach for Sunday, I needed to stay awake to make sure Emma went and picked Jared up from the dance....so I decided to watch Sleepy Hallow.  I was on the second episode.  It's a little bit freaky but the man character is esthetically and audibly pleasing, so I decided to give the show a try.  

My cell phone rang with my son's number on the caller id, but it only rang once.  I thought it strange that he would call me because he should have seen that his sister was there to pick him up by that point.    While I trying to decide what to think about the 1 ring, the house phone rang with my son in a distressed voice say "Mom, come to the round about near our house right now.  We got in an accident."  That was it.  That was all I got.  

I threw on some clothes and said a prayer....several prayers.  I needed my emotions to stay in check.  I needed to make sure I handled the situation properly with my daughter and I had no idea what state of mind the other driver was in and prayed to know how to diffuse the situation or whatever I needed to do- that it was right.  

The good news is that everyone was fine, the bad news - the other driver was a nightmare.  Luckily I had forgotten that it was completely dark outside and some undead creature could be coming to take over the world with darkness, because there was too much adrenaline coursing through my veins.  

This lady was cussing and yelling and telling every car that passed that an idiot teenager hit her car.  When I pulled up both the cars were blocking traffic.  I got out and immediately went into taking control of the scene.  I can't help it (my control freak nature comes in handy sometimes).  I'm sure the other drivers were too scared of the woman to help her do the right thing.  Not me.  She was not about to move her car out of the way because the bumper was rubbing on the tire and she wanted it left there until the police came.  

I assured her that it was perfectly legal and fine to move the cars and in fact, mandatory.  I helped Emma back her car out of the way and pull over to somewhere safe so that traffic could resume.  The lady just kept yelling into her phone and to people in the street.  

My daughter if very tender hearted and was completely distressed by the events and wanting to crawl in a hole and die.  I got her set up to wait in her car and went back to check on the lady.  I needed to see if the police were called and see if I could calm her down at all.   More prayer were being rambled off in my head.  

She just lit into me about my idiot teenage daughter who is ruining her life.  I calmly mentioned to her that she might remember what it was like to be a teenager and what my daughter must be feeling right now.  More swearing at me.  When I realized that she was completely irrational I decided to leave her with one final thought.  Very calmly I mentioned to her that someday she was going to do something to hurt someone and it was going to be her fault.  She was going to remember this day and wish that she had handled it differently because she would now be the one searching for mercy.  I think I may have said 1 or 2 more times "you will remember this day."  It was kind a like turrets syndrome with that last phrase.  I really don't know why I felt compelled to tell her that and so many times.  

I know she got the take home message because whoever she was talking to on the phone - she screamed at the person that I was a lunatic or yelling or something to that effect saying that I was telling her that: "I should remember my teenage years and one day I will remember this day and be sorry."

After that we had no further contact.  A very nice police officer came on the scene and told us that we didn't need to interact with her (she did turn on the super sweet personality once he arrived- not sure if it stayed)  We were allowed to go back to our car and wait.  

The police officer that came on the scene looked remarkably like the cop from the show I was watching that came back from the dead and was helping the headless horseman.  Luckily he was so super nice.  I mean really nice.  Poor Emma was beside herself with grief.  

Long story short....or shorter:  Emma didn't get sited.  Thank goodness.  We ended up having to leave the car there while we went home to get some duct tape to try and get the car off the tire enough to get home.  I almost called my neighbor and asked for help, but I'm allergic.  When I told my friend about it this morning,who's husband I was going to call, she hit me and told me that I should have.  I know.  I don't know why I have to do everything myself.  We got the car home and I called the insurance and everything is all taken care of.  They are picking up the car at the house tomorrow.  The claims officer was also super nice.  

So, there it is.  The damage.  The drivers side door doesn't open more than about 2 inches in addition to what you can see.  Good times.  

This is turning into a marathon post, but here's the moral of the story.  

Today my lesson was gratitude....which went really well, btw.  I tried some new things out and tried extra hard with my prayers....I wouldn't say it was "super spiritual" (I need tears for super spiritual or light bulb looks on faces) but it was really good and I know the girls liked it because they all thanked me for the really good lesson at the end of class.  

Anyway....my first thought last night was: "this is all my fault, if I hadn't been such a meanie about the stake training, this wouldn't have happened."  I tell you - I am so narcissistic sometimes.  I had just read a bunch of stuff for this lesson on gratitude, one of which was a talk called "O remember, remember" by Henry B Eyring.  This is one of those talks that I still remember and think about often (it was given in 2007 Oct General Conference)  One of the things that came to my mind after I had those thoughts about it being my fault was this  “I’m not giving you these experiences for yourself. Write them down.”

The entire talk is good.  I love Henry B Eyring.  He is one of those guys that I love to see cry.  He can hardly hold it together whenever he talks and I love that about him.  He also usually, but not always, mentions Albuquerque in his talks.  Another quote from the talk: “Have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch us or our children or our family today?” As I kept at it, something began to happen. As I would cast my mind over the day, I would see evidence of what God had done for one of us that I had not recognized in the busy moments of the day. As that happened, and it happened often, I realized that trying to remember had allowed God to show me what He had done.

More than gratitude began to grow in my heart. Testimony grew. I became ever more certain that our Heavenly Father hears and answers prayers. I felt more gratitude for the softening and refining that come because of the Atonement of the Savior Jesus Christ. And I grew more confident that the Holy Ghost can bring all things to our remembrance—even things we did not notice or pay attention to when they happened.

What is also interesting about this talk is that when I noticed the date it was given, it made me stop in my tracks and wonder....when did I start this blog?  Only about 1 1/2 months before this talk.  I didn't start out this blog by saying anything of value, but it has grown and morphed into so much more since then. I am beginning to find that there are more and more things that I do that I had no idea where they came from because they sank deep into my heart.  There is so much credit I need to be giving to what has been contributing factors in my journey to becoming sanctified.  

So, what am I grateful for?  I am grateful for my children.  I am grateful that they are working hard to become disciples of Christ. That they are eager to do the right things.  I am grateful that I was able to keep my anger at the belligerent woman under control.  That I was able to not add to my daughters grief at the accident.  I'm grateful for the lesson on gratitude.  I am grateful for Sacrament meeting today.  It was one of those really spiritual and edifying experiences -that I don't have all the time.  I knew I was in trouble when I started tearing up in the opening song. "Israel, Israel God is calling."  All 3 speakers were remarkable and I ended up taking notes.  Now that is good stuff.  I am grateful for training videos online that can help me be a better teacher.  I'm grateful for second and third and fourth chances to do something right.  I'm grateful for car insurance.  I'm grateful that a nice policeman showed up and a very nice claims person answered the phone for my insurance.  I am so grateful that the car accident wasn't more serious.  I am grateful for family that we can serve and they can serve us.  I grateful for friends that remind me to do the right thing and not be so prideful.  I am so grateful for living prophets.  I'm grateful for opportunities to learn and grow.  The list goes on and on.  

The challenge I gave my girls today was this: I handed them nice note cards and told them to think about someone that has been an influence on them and then to write a thank you card to them.  If they wanted to feel pure joy and give someone else an opportunity at pure joy, they could actually give it to them.  So, my first challenge on here is the same.  I'm going to do it as well. 

 I'm hoping that this blog has turned into one big "Thank You" to my Father in Heaven for all the blessings he has poured out upon me and my family.   

One final quote from Elder Packer "we are not obedient because we are blind but because we can see."  I just loved that quote and it was given today in Sacrament meeting.